So the mayor of Detroit is possibly going to jail for perjuring himself last fall, and he cost city taxpayers $9 million as a result of gross malfeasence, yadda yadda yadda.
He claimed under oath that he has had no sexual relationship with his chief of staff, but now text messages from a couple years ago on city-owned Blackberrys prove otherwise, yadda yadda yadda…
But here’s the real dirt: actual excerpts from the simp-ly scan-dal-ous text messages!
Here are some of my favorites (it’s best to put on Barry White’s ‘Can’t Get Enough of Your Love’ while you read them):
We in Michigan may not have jobs, or money, or hope for our kids’ future, but we’ve got a former model as a governor and a smooth love doctor as the mayor of our largest city. SUCK THAT ILLINOIS!
They were reading some of the messages on the news this morning.
KK: This is the first time I’ve failed to seduce you. I must be off my game!
CB: Your game is fine!
Sigh. The media is so predictable. Forget about the fact that Kilpatrick fired that cop for reporting on the wild party (held at the city’s expense at the mayor’s mansion), all that the news drones care about are the sexy e-mails.
Well, if your state’s definition of a “serious sex crime” is extra-marital sex, perhaps you should reconsider whether a “serious sex crime” is a big deal…
Hell, Clinton would be a serious sex offender if the Oval Office was in Dearborn.
In all seriousness, is there any way this guy can keep his job? How can anyone believe a fucking word out of his mouth anymore? How can he effectively work with the city council, city unions, press, and state and county governments? He was pretty good at blaming the white prejudices of Oakland County before, but now he can’t lean on that crutch. He only has himself to blame for this BS.
How soon before he steps down? I say he doesn’t survive next week.