Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Gets His Blackberrys Squeezed

So the mayor of Detroit is possibly going to jail for perjuring himself last fall, and he cost city taxpayers $9 million as a result of gross malfeasence, yadda yadda yadda.

He claimed under oath that he has had no sexual relationship with his chief of staff, but now text messages from a couple years ago on city-owned Blackberrys prove otherwise, yadda yadda yadda…

But here’s the real dirt: actual excerpts from the simp-ly scan-dal-ous text messages!

Here are some of my favorites (it’s best to put on Barry White’s ‘Can’t Get Enough of Your Love’ while you read them):

We in Michigan may not have jobs, or money, or hope for our kids’ future, but we’ve got a former model as a governor and a smooth love doctor as the mayor of our largest city. SUCK THAT ILLINOIS!

In your face Indiana!

Geographically, we’re on top of you!

We pay so many lawsuits every year. No money but we treat our money like it is a playground for the mayor. disaster

It’s just another day in the Mitt.


Jesus Christ, even our leaders speak like idiots. Is it any wonder why we have so many problems? What’s next, OMFG in an official memo?

ROFLMAO! OMGZ were costing txpayrs millionz! LOL! LOL!

They were reading some of the messages on the news this morning.

KK: This is the first time I’ve failed to seduce you. I must be off my game!

CB: Your game is fine!

Sigh. The media is so predictable. Forget about the fact that Kilpatrick fired that cop for reporting on the wild party (held at the city’s expense at the mayor’s mansion), all that the news drones care about are the sexy e-mails.

When will these guys learn? You can’t lie in court. Period.

“Can-do” the mayor in Room 313 of the Wyndham, perhaps…

I really need to bust into politics. When does it become my turn to be a morally bankrupt individual?

You read my mind. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t want to vote for someone who writes “LOL LOL!”

We’ve got an state attorney general and a mayor of a key city who’ve both commited serious sex crimes. :eek:

Well, if your state’s definition of a “serious sex crime” is extra-marital sex, perhaps you should reconsider whether a “serious sex crime” is a big deal…

Hell, Clinton would be a serious sex offender if the Oval Office was in Dearborn.

I thought it was expected of elected officials to have affairs.
Except for Hillary.

In all seriousness, is there any way this guy can keep his job? How can anyone believe a fucking word out of his mouth anymore? How can he effectively work with the city council, city unions, press, and state and county governments? He was pretty good at blaming the white prejudices of Oakland County before, but now he can’t lean on that crutch. He only has himself to blame for this BS.

How soon before he steps down? I say he doesn’t survive next week.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the state of our union is roxxors.”




That would really depend on what the definition of “if” is…

He ought to, but I’m not so sure he will. He wouldn’t be the first Detroit Mayor to be implicated in serious crimes and caught in major lies. (Mayor Young pleads Fifth during Ken Weiner fraud trial–all sorts of embarassing tapes are played and it is alleged he is traficking in krugerrands). (Young denies having sex with city employee until paternity established, then admits paternity).

And it’s not like this is the first big lie he’s told.

At least he didn’t text his dream of being reincarnated as her Tampax.

Dearborn Heights mayors also have a very dubious past.