I’m on a trip to Nevada, first in Vegas with my wife, then finishing the week in a nearby town where her parents live. She drove down with our dog and our daughter, then I flew down to meet her.
First, I was heading out the door to the airport and at the last minute remembered my passport. My driver’s license isn’t enough for TSA. If I hadn’t remembered before leaving I’d have been in some real trouble. Then, just as I get to the airport I remember that large electronic devices like tablets can’t be in checked luggage. So I pull it out and put it in my carry-on as soon as I park and get out at the airport. That’s twice that I barely avoided disaster because I forgot something important.
I wanted to be careful and I’d gotten up early and got to the airport early since who knows how traffic and security might be? Traffic was smooth and security took 3 minutes to get through. And then I was immediately at my gate. My thoughtfulness meant I had 2 1/2 hours of time to waste alone in an airport. Yay. Sometimes being too careful bites you in the end.
My flight was fine, and I met my wife at the airport in Vegas so we could travel to the hotel. And on the way there was a major accident that took a good 15 minutes to get past, which doubled the travel time.
After checking into the hotel and unpacking, I realize I left most of my toiletries at home. Sitting right there in my bathroom. Dammit.
Luckily there was a CVS within walking distance and I was able to buy the absolutely essential items I needed but my damn forgetfulness fucked me over. And of course if I wasn’t in such a rush to get to the airport early I could have double-checked and not missed it. The rush that had me waiting for hours unnecessarily to board.
Anyway, so far a few days in everything has been pretty good despite my early efforts to sabotage myself.
I was thinking about the first post, where a passport vs a DL is necessary for a domestic flight. Is that a general requirement now? I thought the req was a ‘Real ID’ for domestic flights. It might be some other personal circumstance; if not, I should get a passport too.
But if your DL is not REAL-ID compliant, then you need something else and as a practical matter a passport is the only other thing most of us are eligible for or likely to have.
I have a dopp kit with duplicate toothbrushes, hair brushes, deodorants, device chargers, meds, etc., that I just throw in my suitcase when packing, rather than travel with the items I use at home. Except for checking that I have enough meds for the length of the trip, I don’t have to think about whether I have all of my usual toiletries and accessories.
Oh, this is incredibly smart. Maybe a little more challenging for me with all my makeup and creams and stuff, but I have to try. I forget toiletries stuff all the time. I also have a checklist for packing. I need checklists for everything honestly. I should probably have a checklist before I go out the door every morning. Twice I have showed up to work in my house shoes.
I got up early today to arrive to work by 8:15am since they are ruining my life by having an All-Staff meeting today. Waste of my goddamned time. Trying to make up the time. But I’m so damned tired I don’t know what good it will do.
My capacity to work is sandwiched between whenever I start work in the AM and about 3pm which is when I start to crash. I’m changing my stimulants from Vyvanse to Adderall so if that’s contributing to the crashes, it will improve soon.
I’m about to come into almost exactly 40 grand (my share of the inheritance from Mom’s estate). Mrs. Homie and I are being most frugal with the money. We’re paying off our SUV, we’re doing some minor fixes/upgrades to it, we’re going on a 7-day cruise in December 2027, and we’re putting the rest away (our house is paid off).
I want to take a brief, 4-day cruise over the Thanksgiving holiday. Mrs. H and I haven’t had a holiday in a decade, and I want to take a mini-cruise (smaller duration, less-expensive cabin, no fine dining, no shore excursions (the only places the boat is going is to two of Carnival’s private islands), older and smaller ship, etc.). Our bills are paid off and it’s not a huge dent in the windfall, so I see no harm in it.
Mrs. H will not hear of it, and she’s not bending. She steadfastly insists that every last dime needs to be guarded like there’s no tomorrow, and that spending it on something so “frivolous” is … well, I don’t know what word, but I think it’s in the neighborhood of “immoral.”
I get that Mrs. H have had our Salad Days, to put it mildly (more like our Scrounging Quarters From The Car’s Floors To Buy Crackers To Keep Us Alive Until Payday Days), but they’re long gone. But hey, poverty causes trauma, and so she’s hesitant. And she’s from a pious and humble family that views travel as an extravagence. BUT, we can afford it! And there’s also the fact that, in the bottom of my heart (and this is probably the wrong way of looking at it), I fell like it’s MY money, not ours, considering that it was my mom who died. When her mom dies she can do whatever the fuck she wants with the money.
I think I’ll just book the cruise and tell her she can come with me or not, but I’mma have a good time.
Speaking as someone who’s received several windfalls over the last 10-15 years, and who has mostly done the responsible thing, you have to blow some of that money. We usually take about 10% to spend on whatever. I haven’t regretted a single thing we spent it on.
What you’re planning isn’t even that extravagant.
Would your mother want you to do something fun with it? There’s always that card to play.
Brother, my mother would have been on a plane to New Orleans to party it up in the French Quarter before the bank teller finished depositing the check.
You’ve got your reason then. This is totally honoring your Mom’s spirit. You’re allowed to go do something fun. I understand the mentality of poverty because I come from it myself, and it’s hard to ever quite feel secure no matter how much you have. But IMHO she needs to let go a little and enjoy what she does have.
We’re basically just a prickly version of the MMP, with fewer people to keep track of. (No offense to MMP, I just find it overwhelming.)
I can say from past experience that doing something special instead of hoarding it all away turned out great for me. I made an extra $8,000 back in 2007 and decided that life was too short to simply hoard it or pay bills, etc. I used it for a top shelf dream 10 day vacation in Hawaii instead. There has never been a day where I have even remotely questioned much less regretted my decision. In fact, the more time that passes, the happier I am with my decision.
Your plan is balanced and sensible. In fact, I think that it’s a great plan. I hope you can implement it!
That sounds lovely! These days that much money would just about cover airfare.
I’m not really a vacation person to be honest, I’m a furniture person. We bought a large sectional and a custom-made Amish cherry wood kitchen table. Every day I see those things in my house, they make me happy. The sectional we’ve had for 8 years and it’s still in great condition.
Here are a few disjoint thoughts that aren’t an essay.
That may be a recipe for trouble. You know your couples dynamic and I don’t.
Legally that inheritance is 100% yours and zero percent hers. Unless you deposit that check into a joint account. At which instant the money legally becomes half yours and half hers: $20K each. If you have any thoughts about unilateral action, keep that difference in mind before getting the check in hand. OTOH, depending on how intertwined your finances are or are not already, she may view you opening a separate account for the inheritance funds as a hostile or at least untrustworthy act.
Whether that money is morally yours alone or belongs to both of you is a separate matter of negotiation between you both. Money management is evidently already a sore spot for you two. Be careful about pouring gasoline on an open wound, to mangle some metaphors.
I know you’ve had the Dec 2027 cruise booked awhile. I don’t know if it’s fully paid for already or just a nominal deposit put down. Different lines have very different policies about that. If it isn’t fully paid for don’t forget about that balloon payment looming off in the distance. I did something similar over the last 6 months, where I sprayed a bunch of cruises and attendant air travel out into the future as far as the end of 2027, only putting down small down payments for each. It was sobering to add up all the balances due and see when they’d come home to roost. Some much sooner than others. Sometimes its easy to overextend yourself unwittingly. Be careful of that danger.
Each of those future pay-off(s) also provides a fresh opportunity for money/power struggles with Mrs. H. Good luck w that.
Lotta people take cruises where they don’t care about the destinations and almost don’t get off the ship. Nothing unusual about that. It happens GF & I are doing a 5-day over Thanksgiving this year with that same plan. Might get off at the private island to lay on the beach, not the pool. But otherwise just hang on the boat.
Again you know your dynamics and I do not. But it’s one thing to tell her you’re going to do it, listen to her objections, and do it anyway, versus doing it and then telling her what you did and she can like it or lump it. Good luck figuring out which one produces the smaller explosion.
Thank you for your thoughts. The Dec 2027 cruise isn’t booked yet, just on the calendar. I plan to pay for it (and the Thanksgiving cruise) all at once when I book it. I’m just waiting for my brother to get that check in the mail (he got the court’s approval to do so about two hours ago).
And no, the money will go into our joint checking account. No need for anything that could even be perceived as hostile or untrustworthy.
The first one. But I can assure you that if I book the cruise, she’ll be coming. She’s not so proud that she’ll sit at home and be salty, just out of spite, lol.
This past Saturday near to 5pm, a random stranger pulls into our driveway gets out of his car and approaches the open garage saying he’s looking for “Dave”. He wasn’t home but I ask what do you want with him? Oh he’s turning 65 next year, and I’m here to sign him up for Medicare. Did he make an appointment with you? No. Then you need to turn around and leave immediately.
We have no idea how he had that info or why was he cold calling on future Medicare recipients. (Illegal btw) I should have asked more questions but the guys boldness and familiarity freaked me out so I kicked him off my property without question. Medicare advantage sales I’d bet on it.
