I grew up in the Upper Midwestern region, and lived for over a decade in the Rocky Mountain region, and I’ve never heard anyone refer to a jelly donut as a “Bismark”. I have occasionally heard a jelly donut referred to as a “Berliner” (usually in the context of a joke about JFK), and I’ve likewise occasionally heard a chocolate creme-filled donut referred to as a “Bismark”, but both are very rare: Just saying “donut” (or “jelly donut” or “chocolate donut”) is far more common.
Yeah, what’s with all the doughnut references? My father is the only person I’ve ever heard use the word Bismark, and only in the context of a long, frosted doughnut that was cream filled. And everyone else I’ve ever known called that an eclair.
As for “donut,” only if they’re Dunkin’ 
Man, they are really obsessed with the doughnut.
I liked this description of Coastal Southern from one of the links here.
I agree with most of those except dope for coke, the soda and maybe the last one. Everyone knows 'Sunday’s child is bonny and blithe and good and gay.’
Everybody I knew growing up in Minnesota called jelly donuts Bismarcks. I always thought it was a German thing. They also called them jelly donuts. I hated the nasty, messy things, so I never called them anything.
I have never heard the northern accent referred to as “Minnewegian,” Fargo or no Fargo. (We talk about Iowegians sometimes, but it has nothing to do with dialects.) The movie simply exaggerated a normal Minnesota accent. I don’t even recognize a difference between those of us in the southern part of the state and most of the people up north, except for people from the Iron Range, where the Finns and the Slavs influenced the accent.
I’ve lived three quarters of my life in what the map calls the coastal South, and I’ve never heard anyone refer to a doughnut as a cookie. Doughnut: yeast or cake, round, hole in the middle. Cookie: round, flat, made of, well, cookie dough. And at least in Georgia, anything that comes out of a soda fountain is “Coke” - even if it’s made by PepsiCo.
And kunilou, you po’ chile, you need to get yourself a Krispy Kreme so you can see what a stale tasteless fraud Dunkin Donuts has been foisting on the North and Midwest for far too many years.
This article misses the boat in a number of places. I grew up iwith both a Midwestern / Great Lakes dialect and a southern Appalachian one and it used exaggerated stereotypes for both.
As far as the locale specific vocabulary, I think a few folks were shining the author on. 
That, and s/he has an unhealthy obsession with doughnuts. 
The map says I should have a Bonac dialog, but actual Bonackers were only in a much tinier area than shown on the map. Where I grew up (on the North Fork of Long Island) doesn’t fit in any of the categories: it doesn’t have the “Lon Guyland” “g” (just the opposite – it’s pronounced “Lon Island” with the “g” just barely noticeable). It doesn’t have the “d” substituted for “th.” It’s also very rhotic (All the “r” in “murderer” are pronounced).
Needs more information. Do I speak the “San Francisco Urban” dialect, or does that not cross the Bay? How is that accent different from Vallejo, or even Sacramento, because I can’t hear it. The only Bay Area shibboleth is “hella,” and that’s out of fashion, and freeway naming vs. SoCal. What is the Mission dialect, and why is associated with Irish Americans despite the area being stereotypically Hispanic for decades, and more recently hipsterese. Some of the more distinctive small area accents get better described, but most of us know how those sound, and the SF is being contrasted against the “generic” western accent.
I’m from Alabama and I’ve also never heard anyone call a doughnut a cookie.
Virginia Piedmont (20): “When an R comes after a vowel, it becomes UH, and AW becomes the slided sound, AH-AW. Thus, four dogs becomes fo-uh dahawgs. Some local words are: hoppergrass (grasshopper), old-field colt (illegitimate child), school breaks up (school lets out), weskit (vest).”
I agree on the “fo-uh dahawgs” rather than “four dogs”, but I’ve lived here all my life and never heard of any of the example words/phrases.
Really, now. If the best you can come up with for “Chicago Urban” is “It’s like those guys on SNL’s Superfans” you could at least know the skit show was called Superfans and not “Da Bulls, Da Bears”.
That’s kind of stupid. Anyway, everyone (English-speakers, obviously) understands standard English whether or not they speak it. Not everyone can understand the gibberish some people speak. (I’m not actually a language snob like that probably sounds. Not at all. I use the word “hella”. But I wouldn’t call it “correct English”.)
My parents have different Southern accents though they grew up five hours away. My dad’s sister has an accent similar to his, not my mom’s. We always had pancakes, never flapjacks; and any beverage is a Coke(except for tea) So it’s want a Coke? What kind?
A Krispy Kreme is not a “donut” but a “doughnut”
Most Krispy Kremes nowadays are stale, tasteless frauds, too. But even the fresh ones are overrated. It’s a different style of doughnut than Dunkin, and I can see how someone raised with them might be nostalgic for them, but it’s not inherently better.
Nor I, in Arkansas or Tennesse.
I spent my childhood moving around the Gulf Coast, from Texas all the way to Georgia. I’ve lived on the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain for 30 years.
We have two kinds of donuts. Beignets and Krispy Kremes. Nobody calls either of them cookies.
My regional dialect is a blend, because so many people have been displaced. People are adopting words and foods into their lives as times change. Sometimes I feel like my central Mississippi dialect has faded, but one phone call and I sound like Ive never left.
I love that we all sound different. I hope it never changes. I dread some homogeneous mid-Atlantic accent, bland, inoffensive, easy to understand. That doesn’t represent me.
Really, he could stand to make it a bit more detailed.