Diamonds, Booze, and a Cruise MMP

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Part the first

Last year, my mom declared her intent to take the whole family on a cruise. Because of scheduling and other issues, only 6 of us ended up going with her – besides my sweetie and me, there was the oldest of my sisters (still younger than I) and her spouse, the youngest of my sisters, and my nephew, plus Mom, of course. My bro and the middle of my sisters both hate cruising. Bro-in-law (father of the nephew who went along) couldn’t afford to take off work, as was the case for my daughter and my niece, both of whom work in education. So on Monday Jan 16, seven of us boarded the Enchantment of the Seas for a 12-day southern Caribbean cruise.

I’ll give the cruise line and the terminal folks major props – they sure know how to move a lot of people efficiently thru security and check in, then on to the ship with minimal problems. At the terminal in Baltimore, you drive up next to the luggage carts and they help you load your bags right into the cart. Then you go thru the TSA-style security line, on to where you get your SeaPass, which serves as your room key and money while aboard, then they have you sit in groups before herding you up the ramp to the ship.

We got to hit the buffet first thing, since our rooms weren’t ready for a couple more hours. It was pretty cold, and we got stuck sitting out on deck for a while, but we still grabbed sammiches and cookies before heading down to check out the interior of the ship. Around 1:30, we found our stateroom and shortly after that, our luggage appeared in the corridor, so we were able to get unpacked and settled in. **FCD **and I had a “large interior stateroom” – at first we were bummed because we’d wanted a window at a minimum, but the interior room turned out to be pretty nice. If you wanted to nap during the day, as we did a few times, it was DARK in there, so great for a snooze. We had just barely enough space for all our clothes, and by putting the dirties back into our luggage every couple of days, we kept it from being too messy, so that worked.

The first 4 days were spent at sea, getting to know the ship’s routine, discovering stuff, and generally trying to get into the vacation mode. One of those nights, the captain came on with an announcement about a disabled boat and the Coast Guard and some other things – bottom line, it looked like a drug runner was busted near us, and our ship had played a part in identifying the bad guys. Yay us!! :smiley: OK, I was in bed watching TV at the time, but still…

We went to a couple of shows those first nights. One was the singers and dancers assigned to the ship – they were pretty good, even tho they looked like they were barely out of diapers!! The other show we really enjoyed was a couple of musicians/comedians who were pretty amazing. The one guy joked with several members of the audience, and at the end of the act, he sang a song about them – we were all impressed that he made a coherent lyric on the spot. They also did a variation on “Who’s On First” that cracked us up. All in all, a fun night.

We also played trivia a few times. We did pretty well on one game. One of the questions was “Which musician was married to rocker Tina Turner?” Naturally, I yelled out “Donny Osmond!!” Cracked up the quiz master! :smiley: Another trivia was on TV, but some questions were really obscure – maybe because I didn’t watch many of the shows they asked about. I really stunk at 80s music trivia. But it was still fun. And we watched my sister do karaoke one night – she’s just a wee bit of a ham. :smiley:

Five more parts of the OP coming up, so don’t post yet. :wink:

2

Our first port of call was Tortola, BVI. We paid for an open bus tour that really made me appreciate the roads and drivers in the states. Cracks and potholes aside, the roads were narrow with some really, really steep banks plunging just inches from the asphalt. :eek: When we stopped, the scenery was gorgeous, and no, we didn’t take any photos. None. Anywhere. Not during our entire vacation. So that’s out of the way… Honestly, the worst part of the ride was that it was hard on FCD’s back – he was really hurting when we got back to the dock. We walked around the flea-market-like shopping area and he bought a shirt, but mostly, we were not impressed with Tortola.

Next day was Antigua. **FCD **was really looking forward to that because some famous sailing gathering takes place there. Well, on the island, but apparently nowhere near the cruise ship docks. All we saw was a very shabby town with uneven sidewalks, crazy drivers, and an interesting farmers’ market that we wandered thru. On the way back to the ship, my poor sweetie was almost run over by a bicyclist who was under the impression that my mother-in-law has carnal knowledge of monkeys. :eek: OK, we got a laugh out of that. :smiley: Antigua was also the first port where there were a bazillion diamond merchants lining the road that abuts the dock.

Pause here to say that virtually every port guide we were given included a map of the town with the gazillion diamond and rum merchants marked in meticulous detail. As we walked the streets, we were assailed by people in every single store enticing us with “75% off” or “80% off” or “just come in and look” – enough to make a body stabby! Even worse because I am not a jewelry person. I’m not against it, I just don’t wear more than my wedding band and my cheapie Timex, and the very occasional necklace. But every single diamond merchant expected me to pant and drool over their wares. I will admit, there were a few attractive pieces on display, but even if I was a gazillionaire, I wouldn’t have bought any. So the constant barrage really got to me. And all the people coming aboard with cases of rum and cigarettes – dang, vices are cheap in the islands! I think my mom brought home 8 bottles…

3

At our next stop, Sint Maarten, the very quaint streets were lined with more jewelry stores than I’ve seen in my life. However, we found several non-sparkly shops that were worth visiting. The coolest was one that sold clothing made from bamboo. Unfortunately, they didn’t have anything in my size, but my sweetie got himself a really nice polo shirt, and we got our daughter a cute T-shirt. Hers was size 2XL, but I swear, it was the equivalent of a large in the states. We also bought from our first street vendor – a guy had taken coconut palm fronds and woven a basket and a grasshopper. He showed us one that he said was 10 years old that was really neat looking – we’ll see if ours ages as well or if it rots in a month. What the heck – we supported the local economy with $8.

That was the stop where we took a water taxi from the ship – for $6, you could ride all day. After we finished shopping, we went back to the ship for lunch. Then we changed into our swimwear and took the taxi back to the beach. For $10, we rented 2 chairs and a beach umbrella. So we dumped our stuff, then went into the water and bobbed in the waves for a while. It was a tad chilly at first, but once you go completely numb, it’s not bad. :smiley: We also discovered that the Europeans at that beach had no problem changing on the beach. That led to a discussion of free range tits and who on that beach we didn’t want to see nekkid. Yeah, we’re juvenile sometimes.

Fourth stop was St. Thomas, and that’s where we spent a buttload of money. **FCD **found a ceramic and stainless wristwatch that he really liked. It was marked $250, which seemed reasonable, but he said he wanted to shop some more. Immediately, the price dropped to $180. So he bought it. Very pretty watch. And the little girl who sold it to him was a brand new arrival from Montana, so we had fun chatting with her. Other purchases included T-shirts, a nice short-sleeve shirt for FCD, a toothbrush holder thingie, a fishy magnet, and a swimsuit coverup for me. We also passed and entered a store that sold only gloves. Seemed like a weird specialization to support a retail establishment, so we had to check it out. And I got to coolest garden gloves in there! The palms and fingers are rubberized and textured, and the backs of the hands are bamboo, so really cool. I can’t wait to get into the dirt! :smiley:

We considered taking another island tour, but **FCD **was worried about being jostled too much again – the short taxi ride over was tough on him. Instead, we decided to walk back to the boat. It was only about 2 miles along the water and we were in no hurry. As we strolled, he climbed on the rocks along the shore, looking at the snails (“There’s $500 worth of snails there!!!” :eek: ) and other sea life. Somewhere along the way, he found a hunk of coral rock that was fairly large of an interesting shape with numerous nooks and openings. He knocked all the snails off of it and we consolidated our purchases so he could have a bag for his rock.

That led to both of us laughing. When he was a kid and his family would go camping and such, his mother would see rocks she wanted to take home for the garden, so her three sons would be recruited to carry them for her. Naturally, he had to call his mother and tell her he carried on the family tradition. And at this moment, the rock is in the aquarium sump till he decides where to put it in the tank.

Most days when we came back from our shore excursions, we’d hit the pool and/or hot tub. **FCD **found that being in the water took all the strain off his back. Just treading water was very relaxing for him, and since we beat most other people back from the islands, we had the pool largely to ourselves. That was nice.

4

Fifth stop was San Juan. There was a lot I wanted to see, but by that time, we were both physically exhausted. The first 4 days, we walked many miles in the sun, sometimes carrying a rock, and for someone recovering from back surgery, and me, a recovering couch potato, it was tiring. We did climb up to Castillo San Cristóbal and climbed to its highest ramps. We saw the capitol building and some beautiful views. But I don’t think we spent an hour in the fort. On the way back to the ship, we passed thru a square where there was a craft/art show. We bought a few things there for my mom and our daughter, then got back aboard. Since our next leg was a long one, we had to leave port at 1, so even if we’d had the energy, we wouldn’t have had the time to explore much. We had some serious nappage that afternoon.

Our last stop was Labadee, Haiti, which is a Royal Caribbean resort. I was looking forward to it because of the Artisan Village. Boy, was I disappointed. First off, the whole place was Disney-esque. The *sand *was raked, fercryinoutloud!!! It was just trying too hard to be natural and tropical. And the “Artisan Village” was a colossal joke! At every stand, the vendors were saying “I made this myself” or “My mother made these herself” – but every item in every shop looked identical. And they were all pushy and annoying. I could walk by and ignore them, but **FCD **was too polite. He ended up buying 3 “bracelets” from a guy, and he made the mistake of opening his wallet in front of him. There were a lot of twenties in there. While the vendor was trying to extract as much as he could, I said “Put your wallet away” – as it was, he gave the guy $6, which really was way too much. I could see exactly how the bracelets were made – maybe a dime’s worth of materials and 10 minutes of time – not worth $2 each. But we gave them all to our daughter.

We did buy a bunch of painted metal fish that are now hanging over our aquarium. We need a few more, but my sister will be going there next month again, so we’ll ask her to get us 3 or 4 that we don’t have. Anyway, once we bought our fish, we went back to the boat and that was the last time we touched land till coming home.

Once we were done with Labadee, we were ready to be home. We did go to 2 other shows. One was “El Gaucho” who was a musician/comic who was very very mediocre. The other was the ship’s troupe performing numbers from musicals – that was very well done and I really enjoyed it. Most of my shipboard time was spent knitting. I got a lot done on an afghan, and talked to a lot of people who stopped while I was working.

5

And the food. It’s funny, people talk about eating tons and tons but we didn’t. There was great variety, and no limit, but neither of us felt inclined to pig out. We did the buffet for breakfast and lunch and once for dinner. The rest of the dinners, we ate in the dining room, except on my birthday when we went to the on-board fancy-pants restaurant. It cost extra, but it was really good food and service, and it was just the 2 of us, which was nice. That was also the only meal where we stuffed ourselves, since the portions were similar to American restaurants, e.g. way too big.

Our waiters in the dining room were great. The head waiter was Peter, from (I think) Lithuania or some other eastern European country. Our waiter was Nick from the Philippines, and the assistant waiter was an absolutely adorable Chinese girl name Huiyan who never failed to crack us up. Before the cruise was over, she was offering to put fresh ground pepper on our desserts! :smiley:

Every dinner had an appetizer, the main dish, and a dessert. The first night, the servings seemed tiny, but as it turned out, they were just right. Most of what I had was really good, and a few things were just OK. The absolute best appetizer was the onion soup on the last night – I could have made a meal of that! Hard to choose the best entrée, altho it was hard to beat 2 lobster tails. Some of the desserts were amazing, some were just OK. But the service was impeccable, the staff was so friendly and attentive, and overall, dinnertime was very pleasant.

Oh, and did I mention the self-serve frozen yogurt machine? Or that they had a Ben and Jerry’s aboard? Have I ever mentioned that I *LOVE *ice cream??

6

For the most part, the weather was gorgeous. The worst we encountered was off Cape Hatteras on the way back – a front was passing and it was WINDY and ROUGH for a few hours. We stood on the stern for a while just watching the crashing waves. I couldn’t help but think about the intrepid explorers who braved such weather in little wooden ships – wow. Plus morbid thoughts like: if someone fell overboard, the chances of recovering them was teensy-tiny, especially as fast as we were moving at that point.

Many many other things, but this is too long already. Bottom line, we’d like to cruise again, but on a smaller ship, and probably not the Caribbean again. We’re looking at Alaska, Scandinavia, and maybe the Med one day. We’re also thinking about a transatlantic crossing. When you think that you’re getting room and board and entertainment and such attention, a cruise is an amazing value. Oh yeah, and we were among the young ‘uns on the ship! I couldn’t count the scooters, walkers, and wheelchairs aboard. We did decide that they needed to include scooter jousting as an activity! :smiley: Only on the last day did we start to see children - apparently they spent most of their time in the area designed for kids, and that was terrific - no bratty screechers in the pools!

And that’s how I spent my vacation. If you get the chance, take a cruise! Oh, and here’s how we looked on the third formal night. Of all the photos we had taken aboard by the various staff photographers, and this was the only decent one. Cute, huh?

7

First? (or fifth, or something…? :p)

Sounds like fun, Moooom – and Welcome Back, since I wasn’t around to do it last week!

(And you’ve got to appreciate my patience – I didn’t post until you were all done! :))

8

Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’. YAWN 'Tis 31 degrees Amurrkin out and there’s actual frost on the ground! The predicted high is 66 so the frost won’t last long.

MOOOOOOM glad y’all liked the cruise. I loved the one I went on but don’t think I’d want one longer than seven to ten days. Like you, I want to do an Alaskan cruise cause everybody I know who’s done one says it’s just the jakeiest thing evah! Oh and indeed, y’all do clean up nice. :smiley:

Now I need to seek more caffiene and feed rumbly tummy. Then, alas, 'tis Monday, so irk purtification must commence. Le Sigh. Hopefully I shall here back from the background and drug test in a couple of days and make plans toward the new gig.

Happy Monday Y’all!

9

I forgot to talk about our favorite target of derision - Dr. Musclehead.

My mom likes to start her cruising days with a walk around the jogging deck. Our first day out was way too windy and they blocked off that deck, so she decided to use one of the treadmills. Many others had the same idea, and she was waiting for her turn - no biggie.

Just as the machine she was waiting for was freed up, this leathery-brown, mega-muscled, look-at-me jerk in a Gold’s Gym muscle shit jumped in and took the machine. My mom was pissed, but she didn’t say anything, and just left. Later that day she pointed him out to us on deck.

Let me say right here that while I don’t particularly like the look of over-developed body builders, I can appreciate all the work it takes to get that way. Honestly, I have nothing against gym rats, but when they step over that line and start acting like they’re God’s gift to the world, well, all bets are off. And that’s the way this guy was acting.

He’d show up at the buffet in his muscle shirt - gah, who wants to look at that a lunch??? He was constantly working on his “tan” - I swear, his skin was so dark, you could almost see the melanomas waiting to pop out. And, of course, he was there with a much younger bimbette who favored leopard print. Honest to goodness, they were such a stereotypical, sitcom-like couple, it was impossible not to look around for the hidden cameras. My youngest sis kept referring to her as his *goomar *(or however that’s spelled - she watched too much Sopranos…)

Anyway, after being called many different things by the lot of us (behind his back, of course,) we settled on either G[sup]2[/sup] (for Gold’s Gym) or FCD’s favorite, Dr. Musclehead. And honestly, had he not dissed my mama, we probably wouldn’t have taken notice of him at all. So he brought it on himself! :stuck_out_tongue:

10

Great OP, and welcome back FCM!, looks like you had a good time out on the seas. Cruising is not really my cup of tea although I have friends who have tried it and found that they liked it much more than they expected to. However, if I really had to do it, then this would be my first choice!

Nothing exciting to report for a Monday, I’m at irk and it’s busy as usual. I had a good weekend, did lots of stuff and also visited my doting parent so I know she’s ok. I managed a couple of half-hour exercise sessions and we had a night out on Friday to see Thin Lizzy which was a lot of fun.

This week I am only working four days as we’re off to Belgium on Friday - two nights in Antwerp and one night in Brussels so that’s something to look forward to.

11

I don’t think I’d ever want to take a cruise, but yours sounded nice FCM. Especially the San Juan part. I really want to go to Puerto Rico one day since I spent a year of my life writing a thesis about it.

Just waiting for someone to come back with a key so I can get Culinary Boy so he can donate plasma today. Sometime I also have to do laundry. Oh, the fun I get up to on my days off.

12

I’ve only been on one cruise but I’d do it again. Alaska would be my first choice but I’m kinda afraid of glaciers and icebergs so I don’t know if I truly could do it. Today, somehwere warm beckons me. Wouldn’t an MMP Dopers cruise be a hoot???

13

Great posts FCM, sounds like you had a wonderful time.

I’m heading out on my 2nd cruise on Thursday to Key West and Cozumel as a work thing for my partner’s company. I’ve been on a much smaller cruise boat down the Nile in Egypt so this’ll be my first time on one of these sea mammoths. But we have our tuxedos all ready for the formal night and our khakis ready for the non-formal nights, and our regular clothes for when we’re not dining, and our workout clothes, and do they still sell steamer trunks? I feel like we will have to do more outfit changes than a Lady Gaga concert.

14

“I made this myself!” yeah, we ran into that on our cruise as well. Yeah, you made this one, and the identical ones that we’ve seen at every other shop on every island? By the end of the trip, we were wondering if the cruise industry itself owned and ran all those shops. A lot of them did seem like some sort of franchise where the locals just paint the name of that island into the blank spot.

Now you’ve got me all wanting to go on a cruise again.

But instead, the packing and painting continue.

15

Fortunately for me, the formal nights weren’t mandatory sequins and tuxes and tiaras. I was able to do black pants with a nice top and a necklace, and my sweetie got by with shirt and tie. I own one dress that I didn’t take and my husband doesn’t even have a suit. Non-formal nights in the dining room merely required no shorts or flipflops, so we were fine in our usual attire. We only attended 2 of the 3 formal nights - one fell on my birthday and that’s when we ate in the fancy-pants Chops Grille. la de dah :wink:

Our ship had probably 2400 plus crew. I can’t imagine what it would be like on those beasts that take 5000+ cruisers and have a crew of over 2K - I’d love to see one of those ships but I don’t think I’d like cruising on one. We’re looking at a Star Clipper cruise next - they’re lots smaller and more expensive, but I think they’re more our style. Another passenger we chatted with was about to take a river cruise in China, seeing, among other things, the terra cotta army - that sounds wonderful, except for the business of having to fly to China. I hate flying.

One other little anecdote I forgot to mention. As we were waiting to debark in Baltimore, my sister was talking to a woman who told us that a passenger had died on our cruise. Apparently, an older lady was traveling alone, and when she went to bed, she put the Do Not Disturb sign on her door. After 3 days, the room steward was concerned, and when they opened the door, they found she’d died. How very sad - she was there alone and she died alone. I wonder how often things like that happen, especially considering the ages of a lot of the passengers…

Back to the home front, I’m showered, dressed, got the first load of laundry in, and I’ve started a fire because it’s chilly in here. Or maybe my blood got all tropical last week. :wink: It looks like there are at least 6 more loads of dirties to be washed. I may save some for tomorrow - don’t want to have too much fun all at once!

16

Sounds like a good time had by all!

The first time I went on a cruise, I came home with a future wife!

17

I didn’t get a future wife - just a basket and a grasshopper. :smiley: Come to think of it, I didn’t even get a sunburn. That SPF stuff works!!

18

It sounds like you had a great time overall, FCM. I’ve never been on a cruise, but honestly, I don’t think I’d care for one. Maybe one to Alaska, but I think that’s it.

I had a wonderful time at the wedding I attended this weekend. Never did see or hear any ghosts. The wedding itself was very small and intimate and done in the library/front parlor of the hotel. The reception was held in the "banquet/ballroom just up the stairs from the front parlor. The bride was lovely and had a beautiful dress on.

We danced the night away at the reception and by the end of the night, we were friendly with all the people we didn’t know before the wedding. I thought I’d be sore as hell from all the dancing, but amazingly enough, I wasn’t and today I’m fine too.

Yesterday morning, we got up, ate a little breakfast, checked out the grounds of the hotel, packed up and were checked out by 11:00. We went downtown and checked out some of the little shops, some of which were really pretty cool. We saw some pieces of artwork that we really liked, but didn’t buy. We finished up with lunch at a pub, and then headed home.

We were back home a little after three. My daughter and her boyfriend packed up their gear and headed home. The hubby and I put on comfies and spent the rest of the day relaxing with the dogs. They were so happy to see us.

19

Great OP, FCM and I love the picture of the two of you. :slight_smile:

Sorry and don’t tell phoukaroo :wink: but I’m giving into my inner hypochondriac and going to the doctor today about my knee. It doesn’t seem like it’s doing much other than occasionally changing colors. It seems like the swelling has consistently remained the same. Part of the problem, I’m sure, is that I’m not supposed to take NSAIDs which I know would help to reduce the swelling a bit.

Oh well, onward and upward.

20

Welcome back mooooooom. Your cruise sounds like I always assume they happen - some fun and interesting stuff and some annoying “I made this!!!” stuff. It sounds like you had a good time for most of it though!
Sticks I’m glad you’re going to the doctor again. Your knee just doesn’t look right.
I slept far too long today. I didn’t do nearly as much reading as I had wanted to this weekend so now I have to try to rush it. Gotta do my climatology discussions. I hate online discussions. I was so hoping I wouldn’t have to do any more since I’m not taking any online classes. Oh well.
Gotta wash some gym clothes and pay the water bill too! Ugh. Sometimes being responsible sucks.