Yesterday I got the urge to walk to the mall during my lunch hour and get a rice bowl from Edo (damn they are GOOD!) While I was there, I decide to stop at All-a-Dollar to see if they have any new cheap and tacky gadgets I don’t already own and to count how many dumbasses look for price tags that aren’t there and then ask “How much is this?”
For hellsake, what is the name of the bloody store you dipshit?
If there is a hang out for the trailer-trash mallrats, this is the place.
As I am standing there smelling the hand lotion - which actually smells good, I look up and see this goofy guy walking right towards me with that goofy “I-am-Don-Juan-DeMarco-lover-disco-boy-and-I-want-to-hump-your-leg-and-slobber-on-your-shoe” look on his face. He is about 5’3", has his black hair slicked back, and I kid you not, is wearing TIGHT black pants, a silk print shirt unbuttoned to the waist, and a gold chain tangled in a yucky over-abundance of black chest hair. He looks to be Middle East descendant. His accent confirmed it when he held up his hand, waved (the goofy grin never left his face), and said “Haaaa-loooooo bootiful laaaaay-deeee.”
:::shiver:::
I gave him a nice smile, said hello and then went on my way to the check out counter to pay for my Crest that is in a box written in Chinese and my four resin gargoyles (they are cute, REALLY!) . As I am waiting in line I am watching him replay the same act with two other women in the store.
Yup - Always cheap entertainment at the downtown All-a-Dollar!
I forget about the guy and run over to the food court to get my rice. On the way back I notice the same guy walking in front of me. He is trying to pick up damn near every woman who walks past him! He is zig-zagging all over the walkway like a horny little Chihuahua. It was damn funny and pathetic at the same time.
He makes a beeline over to a woman setting her packages on a table outside of Orange Julius and begins working his groovin, funkadelic magic. :::snicker::: I, always one who is easily entertained, decide to linger a bit and watch the show. Within seconds, the rather large boyfriend of the girl walks up to the table carrying two smoothies and giving Disco Dan a dirty look. He was so busy trying to pick up this girl that he didn’t notice the boyfriend at first. When he finally turned and saw him, his eyes popped wide, he jumped at least 6 inches off the floor, and for a slip second that sleazy smile left his face.
He started talking really fast as he was backing up. I couldn’t make out all the words but I did hear “very loooovleeee ladeeee” and “Yooo ‘ave goooood day”. The girl and guy just looked at him then sat down at their table. I am assuming the guy is still over there today looking for a woman.
What a doof!