Dick Morris could do with a Clorox cocktail

The BBQ Pit
1

Didn’t say he should die from it, so you RW’ers out there can save your crying towels for another day.

I’m writing this just home from the bar, so apologies if this has been posted already or it isn’t very erudite, but I have just had enough of this bullshit, artificial, transparent, stupid, hollow-skulled, ignorant tea-douchery.

Jocelyn Elders. Freakin’ Jocelyn Elders? That’s what you’re down to, Falafel Bill? Dick Foot Fetish? That’s what you’re down to? Really? It’s passé to blame Bush for ruining this country but you can still bring up Jocelyn Elders? A woman fired for, essentially, pointing out that masturbation is not a bad thing? If only your fathers had shown similar good judgement, and wasted their DNA into a convenient sock rather than wasting it on you two shit slurping asscracks!

Well, TO BE FAIR ™, as only one side of our great political debate is bound to do… the comparison is apt. Just as Jocelyn Elders was dismissed for no good reason, so it is with Shirley Sherrod. So there, good point, FOX. Please avail yourselves of the victory chlorine champagne to your RIGHT.

What? Don’t want to go to your right? Come on, you can’t break The Narrative… kayfabe, bro!

Idiocracy was not a parody. It was a documentary.

And by the way, Mr. President? Mr. Secretary of Agriculture? Media in general? How about we step up our games, huh? Did you learn nothing from the fake ACORN scandal? Do we open our eyes and see that there are some people that are just no longer interested in playing nicely or adhering to the social contract? Deal with defectors, or be complicit with them–and risk becoming the 21st century Neville Chamberlains.

Jocelyn Elders… good sweet non-existent God… are you serious?

(Yes, I know I brought it on myself by watching FOX. In my defense, this happened within 30 seconds of flipping to it, just to see their reaction to being utterly shown as propagandists yet again.)

2

Maybe you should sober up first. Then maybe you could explain what the FUCK you’re talking about.

3

If I recall, Jocelyn Elders led the movement to legalize masturbation. I take it the poster supports her position, for reasons I am not keen to inquire.

4

I’m talking about the O’Reilly Factor. I caught a snippet of the 10:00 CST replay tonight, where Dick Morris compared the fake ‘racist USDA OMGz’ “scandal” involving Shirley Sherrod with the fake ‘pro-masturbation OMGz’ “scandal” involving Jocelyn Elders. Just this evening. First fifteen minutes.

I’ll look for a link for you.

And I am not drunk. I am just FED THE FUCK UP.

Swearing at me like that, tsk, tsk… You’re just mad because I was right about that Bears/Steelers game last year, ain’t ya?

5

Come to think of it, a Clorox cocktail likely would be nonlethal to Mr. Morris, if administered by the most obviously appropriate orifice.

6

Good one. I’ll get you back somehow. Hmmm. Perhaps a fan letter written in your name requesting the Palinized Shakespeare catalog…

Seriously. I am just newly struck apoplectic by the incredible level of cheek shown by the Right in this country, right now. I am just really afraid that something is going very, very wrong and we’re too jaded by years of the incredible hypocrisy we’ve seen to recognize it. When I heard Joycelyn Elders brought up again, referencing the Clinton Administration, as a bogeyman… a distortion used to legitimize another distortion… I guess I lost it. I’m sorry.

7

IIRC, Elders was fired for suggesting teenagers should be taught masturbation as a safe alternative to any other sexual outlet.

That was dumb.

What teenager ever needed to be taught masturbation?! Like, it’s complicated? I mean, monkeys can work this shit out!

8

Morris was busted from the Clinton administration for whoring around and getting caught. Now he is a born again and a Fox star. He is perfectly qualified for that job.

9

http://video.foxnews.com/v/4288380/factor-slot-1#/v/4289783/shirley-sherrod-controversy-explodes/?playlist_id=87937

Starts at about 4:55.

10

Don’t forget that before he worked for Clinton, Morris worked for Jesse Helms and was responsible for the infamous ad that featured a pair of white hands crumpling up a job rejection letter while a voice over mentioned the unsuccessful applicant had been passed over in favor of a lesser-qualified minority. He’s always been a duplicitous back-stabbing right-wing scumbag. Clinton, for some strange reason, just didn’t see it when he hired him.

11

Females. About half of them don’t learn about it until they become adults, or so a study I read a while ago said.

But, really, I think it’s more about giving people information on the subject so that teenagers can make an informed decision on whether it is as bad as they are told. I know plenty of people who were taught that both premarital sex and masturbation were wrong, and thus did not have the self-control to avoid “accidentally” having unprotected sex with someone else, and gotten
(themselves or their partner) pregnant from it. Throw in the fact that they don’t believe in abortion, and you can come up with reasons that masturbation might be a better alternative.

12

Or perhaps Clinton reasonably assessed Morris as a negotiable brain-whore, the sort who would not let his own political principles, if any, get in the way of the job of the moment.

13

Well, sure, at the amateur level, yeah…

14

Agreed.

Maybe it’s just bias, but why does it seem that only Democrats have to worry about these types? Who was the last major brain-whore that the Republicans brought in only to have him or her turn completely on them after the administration was over?

The only one that comes remotely close to that description to me is Colin Powell, endorsing Obama after doing his bit to sell the Iraq boondoggle. But he’s not popping up everywhere in the media to defend the President or to savage, say, John Boehner.

15

I don’t care to watch the clip, but I’m extremely confused by your rage. The comparison of the previous idiotic non-story blown out of proportion to the more recent one is apt, but it infuriates you because… why, again?

The comparison does seem apt, except that Sherrod is being apologized to and Elders was unapologetically railroaded.

16

To be fair, no one’s said Jocelyn Elders didn’t have beautiful feet. Although I personally would be more interested in Kathy Sebelius’s.

17

I’d just like to point out that “Jostlin’ the Elder” is the best euphemism for masturbation, ever.

18

Almost as good as “Buffin’ the Vampire Slayer”

19

Hell, they could just teach female masturbation classes then. The males would be able to hone their technique just thinking about the existence of such classes.

20

They already have those, but they’re called “women’s studies.”