Did anyone else think the new Star Wars STANK

Wow, I must have psychic powers. I pitted about half of the participants in this thread before it even started. Not only that, but I was in the proper forum for throwing hissy fits.

Geeks, yes I mean you, take a frikkin’ chill pill. Settle down, Beavis, it’s not the end of the world if someone dislikes a movie you liked.

In my experience, everyone seems to have liked the same things about the movie, and everyone disliked the same things. What’s different is how much weight you give to each. If you judge Attack of the Clones by the “romantic” subplot, then it was one of the worst movies you’re ever likely to see. If you judge it by the action sequences or the overall plot, it was pretty good.

Quoth ArchiveGuy:

That, I will absolutely not agree with. None of the flaws of Ep I were in Ep II. We only have a brief scene of little kids, and they behave like little kids. Midichlorians aren’t so much as mentioned. Jar-Jar is heavily cut back. There was no “time-out” from the plot for the sake of special effects (like the podrace scene): All of the special effects scenes happened for a reason. The political schemings made sense. The climactic battles were won in a way consistent with the characters’ well-established abilities and plans. Now, I’m not saying that it was without flaws, but it’s obvious that at least Lucas is learning from his mistakes. If he learns as much from this one, then Episode III may even rival IV or V.

I just got around to seeing it last night. I really wanted to see it opening night because I’m a huge SW fan but the only nights I can ever go see movies are Sunday nights and something has came up every Sunday until last night. Now my brother saw it opening night and all he kept telling me was “don’t bother, it’s terrible.” Ahh-ahh, not me, I have to see for myself. I walked in the theatre will a healthily open mind, ready to simply enjoy the movie, whether the acting was a little off, or the CGI was overkilled a little bit.

What I certainly didn’t expect was a horribly boring, atrociously acted, badly directed, overwritten kids movie. I mean I hated TPM as much as the next guy but I’ve seen it 3 or 4 times. I swear I will never watch AOTC again.

My biggest gripe: Endlessly, painfully, mind-numbingly BOR-ING

The yoda fight scene was cool though.

Oh, no, the best actor in AtoC is clearly Jimmy Smits – he didn’t have to utter one word of Lucas’ wooden dialogue. :smiley:

Look, is isn’t the people who don’t like the movie that upset me. Everyone has the right to like or dislike anything. The people that piss me off are the ones that say that it is a “bad movie”. There is a difference between saying “I don’t like that movie” and saying “that is a bad movie”. The former is just saying that I personally don’t care for that movie but it has nothing to do with anyone else. The latter, however, is passing judgement. You are saying that this is a “bad movie” regardless of whatever anyone else thinks. It belongs in the bad movie pile.

There are many many people that like this movie. Saying that it is a “bad movie” is kind of insulting to all those that like it because you are saying that we like a “bad movie”. However, if simply say that you don’t like it, it has nothing to do with us.

Besides if you don’t like the movie, why the fuck are you talking about it so much?

Because it amuses me to see otherwise intelligent people become stammerring goons in their defense of some of the shittiest movies ever.
A lot of movies I enjoy are belittled by others, and I can come up with a better defense than stupid, childish namecalling. I have yet to hear any Star Wars geeks defend the films, all I’ve seen is attacks on those of us who don’t like them.

Yeah well it was a bad movie so nyaaaah!

Even big fans sit there trying to justify this film with such glowing reviews as
“It was better than TPM” (Just because it was better then crap doesn’t maske it gold.)
"It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be (I didn’t leave the theatre so itmust have been ok)
“It didn’t have Jar Jar” (Oh so the whole flaw of the last movie was Jar Jar…)

Oh yes and my favorite :“I hate over-critiqueing of movies!!! you didn’t like the acting? then you try out for the next one. Try to enjoy it for what it was… its called entertainment!!! You’re not supposed to overthink entertainment… defeats the purpose!!!”

(Oh yeah I forgot to be entertained we are supposed to shut down your brain. Yeah, how can you be entertained when you have to think or recognize poor acting or story telling?? God give me patience. Think about this, because I’m not trying to entertain here you are allowed to think…
You can entertain and still have a though provoking well crafted film with excellent actors and action.)

Actually, while it was kind of akward the “romantic” story wasn’t anywhere near my least favorite part. The fan-boy reaction to that part of the movie reminds me of the grandson in The Princess Bride- “Skip the mushy stuff”.

My least favorite things were C3-PO, the needlessly complicated “political intrigue” that wasn’t very intriguing, and the god-awful special effects. I’d rather see a pie-tin on a piece of string ala Plan Nine from Outer Space than the Naboo spaceship that looked cheesier than most videogames. Oh, yeah, and Count Dooku is one of the stoopidest character names ever in any movie of any kind.

Place me in the “underwhelmed” camp. Though AoTC was much better than TPM, it was still a mediocre movie. Warning: Spoilers.

I don’t know what it is about the Skywalker clan, but being whiny must be genetic. I didn’t think it was possible, but Anakin’s constant “I’m gonna be the best Jedi ever” and “Obi Wan is holding me back!” was even more pathetic than Luke’s “But I wanna go in to town and pick up some power converters!” You can blame some of that on George’s wooden script, but even lines that could have been good were missed by Hayden Christenson. He shows the range of a sea sponge in this movie. Near the beginning he says “I havn’t been sleeping well”. This could be a moment of dark foreshadowing, but he says it too matter of factly - you expect Obi Wan to tell him to try a glass of warm milk. Later Anakin pulls this act: “they killed my mother so I killed them. I killed all of them - I killed the woman and the children. I feel so ashamed. I think I’ll sit down. OK, much better now, anybody call for me?” Bad acting, bad script. ugh

But what really gets me is that this could be a pretty good movie if they just edited it down by about 45 minutes. Two and a half hours was too much. Trim the love story to the bare skeleton. Leave just enough so it can happen offscreen while still telling the viewer that Anakin and Padme are an item. Drop the awful puns uttered by C-3PO. Let Samuel L Jackson’s scenes rest on the cutting room floor if Mace Windu insn’t going to say or do anything. Just tighten the editing in general.

It was as if Lucas was so enamored with his CGI backgrounds that he couldn’t bare to part with any footage. The movie needs to lose about 3 “Obi Wan is holding me back!” lines, two C-3PO puns, half an hour of love story, 15 minutes of exposition, and one floppy eared neo- steppin’ fetchit.

As to the Yoda light saber scene, I think my brother in law said it best. “That was either the coolest scene in the star wars movies, or the stupidest and most ridiculous scene. Honestly, I can’t decide which”

Yes it sucked … just to reiterate my prior opinion.
" I saw AOTC last night and I don’t care what anybody says about -

1: This being Lucas’ “baby” financed with his money and defining his vision and we should just admire his “art” or keep our mouths shut.

2: That he’s just a passionate and focused man trying to tell a wonderful story about good and evil in a cynical world.

3: Star Wars dialog and acting has always been crap so get over it.

No I don’t care about all these excuses and rationalizations.

Aren’t true artists supposed to grow and stretch just a little bit over the course of their careers? George Lucas is not an artist he is a hack. A canny and successful hack with a giant CGI rendering farm to be sure, whose stories plugged into a huge power grid of longing and desire on the part his fanbase, but still a hack.

As Sauron said " Wooden dialogue, terrible acting, spectacular special effects, a convoluted storyline."

It’s time to grow up George. Oh that’s right you don’t want to grow up! Grinding out high tech pablum is A-OK for a billionare director. I won’t be looking for you in the pantheon of great directors which a pity as you certainly had the resources to make something great if not the artistic courage or vision. God Bless you hackmeister."

I watched A&E’s Biography on George Lucus a few weeks ago, and a couple things struck me. Like the fact that Lucus has always been enamored with bright colors, loud sounds, and flashy lights, as opposed to actual acting and dialogue. Like the fact that during the first trilogy, when he was directing, he gave the actors the barest hint of actual direction. Like when he flat out said that he doesn’t like dialogue, and Harrison Ford pointed out that Lucus wasn’t keen on the actors…treating them more of a hindrance than an actual means to an end.

Do you know what all that means to me? That Lucus should be a producer, an editor, design the CGI, and maybe even think of the story. But when he directs and he writes, he ruins his own movies. I’m sorry you are all so fascinated by the Wonder that is His Grace George Lucus that you can’t see that he is simply not a good director or screenplay writer, but it’s the truth.

I’m not going to give him props for his special effects when he sacrifices characters and plots for it. I’m not going to damn him with faint praise by saying that II is better than I. I’m not going to try to justify the money I spent by shrugging and saying “Oh well, it was just for entertainment purposes.” Good movies include moving and realistic dialogue, subtle directing, suspense in the right places, special effects to supplement the acting, not take over for the acting. If Good Movies must use cliches, than they should do it in new and exciting ways. (Running through fields and roaring fires is just too ridiculous.)
A good movie should completely enrapture the audience so they don’t look at their watches every 15 minutes. A Good Movie’s action scenes are exciting and suspenseful, but short enough to actually stay exciting. I’m sorry but a 20 minute chase scene is boring. The entire droid factory scene? It was boring. The last 30 minutes of the film does not make for 2 hours of clunky dialogue, poor directing, poorly done CGI, bad editing, and zero chemistry.


In the paraphrased words of the Comic Book Guy, “Worst Star Wars film ever.”

Okay, so tell me… just how baddddddddd was the love story? B/C I’m taking someone special to see this movie and if this part blows, I’ll just watch an indoor horror movie instead…

Was it really wooden and unbelievable?

It was really wooden and unbelievable. They run through fields, roll in the field, have an “impassioned” speech in front of a roaring fire (to symbolize they’re burning love, see?), and the two actors have absolutely zero chemistry.
When she confessed she loved him, I was left scratching my head…there was no reason for her to love him at all.

Spoiler alert

At one point Annakin is supposed to be flirting with Padme and says something very close to “I don’t like sand, it’s harsh and gritty and gets everywhere… not like you.” There were several laughs at this appalling line. Enjoy your horror flick.


A few weeks ago, Lucas was interviewed by TV Guide. He was asked, “Did ‘Attack of the Clones’ turn out as you expected?” Lucas said, “Actually, it looks better than we thought it would.”

He goes on and on about film technology, how the first film was “written around the technology” and things like that.

But he did not say one word about the acting, the dialogue and the directing. It was all about how the film looked.

Lucas is a good producer, but he is not a very good director nor is he a good writer.

My mistake was reading the novel first. They had an entire scene where Padme meets her family. They tell her to go for Anakin after she admits she loves him. Cut from the movie, which made Padme’s declaration on that chariot seem out of nowhere.

I’ve been told the Ani/Padme scenes were no worse than Han/Leia is ESB. I agree the Han and Leia scenes WERE silly. However, we knew who Han and Leia were. Han was a reckless scoundrel, Leia was free-spirited royalty. It was a classic case of opposites attract, and both had qualities to attract one another. You could see the love reluctantly building and GL realized Leia worked better with Han. Hence the last-minute “Luke’s sister” invention to remove any love-triangle with Luke.

Whereas we don’t know anything about Ani since he was a 9-year-old brat. We know Amidala as a noble queen and senator. Now, I’m supposed to believe that this woman falls for a creepy leering teenager who feeds her preposterous and contemptible lines (“I love you, Padme. I’ve always loved you, Padme. I
hate sand, Padme.”) and tells her about his little massacre? I saw Anakin as disturbing as a Lifetime Movie husband, and I fear for Padme (pictures Ani coming home drunk in a stained white tanktop t-shirt).

I’ve also been told GL was going for a more Classic Victorian style with the dialogue. And if I was bored and groaning (and unintentionally laughing) during the romantic scenes, then apparently GL could not pull off the classical style for many reviewers. Which is fine, since I don’t go to Star Wars movies expecting a wonderful romance scene. I’m wondering how they’ll handle it in Episode III: they’ll boot him from the Jedi council just for getting marrying someone he’ll love? It seems a silly (and tyrannical) thing, since it would be good for the Jedi to reproduce and all.

Here’s some other things I would’ve liked changed in AOTC:

The Obi/Dooku and Ani/Dooku saber battles were WAY too short and didn’t really show his “fencing” style. I was really looking forward to that, especially the way they discussed it in the book. Jedi’s never use lightsabers for fighting, since there are no Sith anymore. So Dooku had an advantage to offset his 80-year-old age. He was supposed to be relaxed and efficient, while Ani and Obi would do all the flipping and swinging. In the movie, things went too quick to even tell. Plus a lot of Dooku’s Vader-esque
taunting was cut out “Come, come, Master Kenobi, put me out of my misery!”

More action with Mace vs Jango. When you read the book, you won’t believe how much they cut that scene down by!!

Same with Ani vs the Tusken Raiders. I know GL wanted to keep it PG, but come on! This is the first time Darth Vader uses the dark side, let’s see a little bit MORE of this, probably the most important event in the entire saga. His whining “I hate them” with Amidala was almost as bad as the Toshi Station line.

Padme getting up after being knocked out of the speeding gunship. Lying on the ground, moaning in pain then getting up and being just fine. No painful sand in the back lacerations, either. Very very odd.

Yoda’s backwards dialect. Great in small doses, but not every time. “Front assembly area, take me.” And bring back the Yoda puppet. At least just for close ups. CGI just isn’t that good yet.

The arena at Geonosis. It was totally full and crowded, like the audience was expecting a big spectacle. And they get 3 people trussed up and totally immobile and defenseless. How exciting would that be? Especially with 3 different large and powerful monsters. They’d saunter up and quickly kill the people chained to the post. Show’s over, go home now. I know they were
trying for a “Gladiator” angle, but I don’t think it would satisfy the
crowd’s bloodlust by having someone tied to a post, with the gladiator strolling up and stabbing him.

Was it better than Spider-man? I thought the action scenes were, especially Yoda and the battlefield scenes (my favorites). But Spidey handled the love story subplot infinitely better. Call it a tie: the first half of Spider-man was better, the second half was better in AOTC.

I think it’s unfair to compare it to LOTR, and no one will be nominating AOTC for best picture. For one thing, Peter Jackson is a much better director than Lucas, look how he handled his actors. PJ wanted Tolkien’s story to more or less stand on its own, not add a romantic angle to get the “Titanic” audience in the seats (Arwen wasn’t that bad). PJ was able to use terrific actors like Blanchette, Holm, McKellan, Bean, Mortensen, and Lee… no need for boy-band types like Hayden (again to attract Titanic fans). True, AOTC had Lee, but he just reprised his Saruman character. Instead of talking to Gandalf about “join me or else”, he talked to Obi-Wan. Besides, it’s not like we got to see a lot of Dooku anyway.

It could be said that no movie could live up to Star Wars’ expectations, that fans should not expect to be enthralled in their 20s or 30s as they were in their pre-teens. However, LOTR left me with that childlike sense of awe throughout the whole movie, I cannot say the same for TPM or AOTC. I just don’t Lucas is at that level anymore. He surprised us with ANH, had someone else write ESB, and it’s been downhill since.

Dagnabbit!! What happened to my SPOILERS warning above?


Hey, I thought I paid for that (back when we were still dating).

Xavier, you’ll seem like cassanova compared to Anakin…unless she goes for his looks, my SO was swooning over him through the whole movie.

This is my review:
Pretty poor movie with some good parts.
I was very much entertained by the experience of going to see a Star Wars film, but that isn’t due to Attack of the Clones.

I think a lot of people get caught up in the whole experience of just going, and being there on opening day with nerds dressed up in the costumes and yelling at the screen, and cheering when Obi-Wan said, “Anakin, I swear you’ll be the death of me.” (Which was the best and funniest line in the WHOLE movie.)
I’m definitely not excusing the movie; if it was on HBO or something I would pass it by without even thinking of sitting through it again.

But in the context of the whole Star Wars-moviegoing experience, it can be not so boring, and actually quite entertaining.