Did I get old, or was it just easier long ago?

So I had my first day of new duties, from a promotion I accepted a while back. I used to do the same stuff, before it was a promotion to do it, a long time ago. I had a half-day intro/trial today. Someone watching me all day, to be sure I know what the heck I am doing. (no complaints about that, it is critical that it be done correctly, and you have to watch everything to know.)

The consensus was I did real good. Much better than usual for new people. Everyone was very encouraging. I was miserable.

Pride is a tough one, for me. But you see, I wasn’t just good, I was great. It was almost a decade ago, and I am not surprised that I have to relearn a lot about things, especially the things that changed. No problem there. But I was the ** best**. I am not big into boasting about my abilities, but the fact is that I always had the toughest tasks, and the largest share of the work, and I consistently did it without a problem of any sort. Today sucked big time. I was miserable, and I screwed up over and over again. Took me a long time, and I still couldn’t get it all done.

Humility sucks. No, actually, what sucks is learning humility! No, even worse, what really sucks is finding out that humility is completely appropriate!

I am so bummed out by this. More humility lessons coming up tomorrow. First solo.

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So are you still awake? New job, new promotion and some anxiety and still awake?

Still awake. Not unusual, though, I generaly don’t sleep until about four AM. Yeah, a bit aprehensive. Not real bad, but some.

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