My marriage is swirling the toilet right now. You can read about it here if you wish.
My wife spent two nights out of the house, leaving me alone. The first night she stayed with a friend (TOG in the linked thread) and spent the second night in a hotel as she had somewhat worn out her welcome with the friend.
I saw my kids off to school on Thursday morning, that was her first evening with her friend and I was alone that evening and Friday morning. Friday evening, after work, I came home to an empty house. She called me and told me she was going to go to a hotel. I was confused and angry that she would do this. It’s not like I’m dangerous or anything. I spoke with the kids in turn and told my son that I missed him. He said that he missed me very much, too.
It just tore a hole in my heart, still makes tears well now.
When I hung up the phone, I started to cry. I’m not normally a cry-baby, but I cried my heart out. Part way through, I realized that I was screaming. Not the “aieeeee” of a kids scream but more like a “aaaagh” of terror. Top of my lungs. I just couldn’t stop. I felt silly and weak but I just couldn’t stop. I went on for what seemed forever but was probably less than five minutes.
My neighbor across the street heard me through the walls of my house. She sent her adult son across to check on me later. I’ve never experienced something like this before.
No. When I had panic attacks it felt like, say, being extremely scared, except there’s nothing to be scared of. It’s kind of weird. Think of how you’d feel physically if your plane suddenly started plummeting towards the earth–out of control heartrate, breathing, just plain panic. That’s how they felt with me, except it happened in the middle of the street for no apparent reason.
Misery and heartache, but probably not a panic attack. When my brother has panic attacks his hands go numb, he hyperventilates, he feels the urge to urinate, he heads for the stairs to go to the bathroom, then he usually passes out on the way down the stairs or in the hallway outside the bathroom. (All this in addition to a sense of panic, of course.)
I am so sorry to hear about your marital troubles.
I wouldn’t call it a panic attack, they’re, well, an attack of panic and terror, except for no real reason.
It sounds like extreme grief and stress to me, which is eminently reasonable given your situation.
Don’t worry about it - cry if you feel like crying, scream if you need to scream. It may not help much, but locking it down will make it worse. I’ve spent many a 45-minute commute alone in my car bawling my eyes out.
My sympathies on your situation. It’s a horrible place to be. Just hang on as best you can. It will eventually get better, although I know that doesn’t help now.
I’m no doctor but it sounded like normal stress to me given the shock level. I’ve seen people keel over (faint) from less stressful news. Obviously if it happens again it’s time to seek help. Hang in there.
I agree with the others. As a decade-long sufferer, mine are pretty much what dre2xl describes with plenty of shaking, dizziness and a general, terrible sense of “fight or flight.” Regardless, what you’re going through is just as real, no matter what it’s called, and sounds simply awful. Hopefully things will improve for you soon. You and your family have good thoughts sent your way. Another vote for hang in there.
Yeah what they said. Panic attacks don’t come after “I just experienced something really really sad and stressful” like you did. What you did was have a normal healthy reaction to something horrible.
Panic attacks are more like this…
La la la la la
omg omg omg omg sob sob sob sob
fuck why am I crying? I hate when I cry! angry sob angry sob sobbing so hard you can’t breathe/breathing so hard you can’t sob scratching and clawing at stuff/yourself (optional)
If I could just stop crying I could…stop crying!
omg omg omg
repeat
So while you were really upset and it drove you to tears and screaming, you did not have a panic attack. Unfortunately you had to experience something that drove you tears and screaming
Although I don’t think you had one, I’m going to disagree with some others have said. Not all, but a lot of panic attacks have reasons. If you take a look here several people talk about their triggers. I consider myself fortunate that I’ve only had a few.
Fear that you are going to die or lose control or are “going crazy.”
Feelings of being “detached” from yourself or reality.
Keep in mind that most people experience several of the symptoms, not just the last couple.
Your reaction sounds like a normal one to anguish and stress (isn’t that what a “crying jag” is?) I hope that you’re feeling better soon, since it’s upsetting no matter what it’s labeled.
Heck, that sounds like a full checklist of my own lovely encounter with this phenomenon back in late 2000, except for the choking sensation – and indeed I had just gone through a streddful period. However I’d be inclined to agree that the OP’s experience sounds more like an immediate direct effect of extreme stress, and hope he can obtain support to help him through it
My panic attacks take the form of the overwhelming urge to escape. It’s like my flight response has been triggered, but there’s nothing triggering it, so there’s nothing to run from. I’ve never broke down crying because of a panic attack, although I’ve come close out of sheer frustation of being so damned scared of nothing at all, and not being able to get the feeling to stop.
That said, I wouldn’t trade my panic attacks for what you’ve suffered for all the money in the world. I hope things work out for you.
It doesn’t sound like a panic attack to me either. Not to say it doesn’t suck just as bad. Just that it’s not a panic attack.
My panic attacks would start with a racing mind and heartbeat. Then I’d feel a hot flush that started in the center of my chest and would grow to cover my face and shoulders. The whole time I’d feel incredible terror and this urge/compulsion to do something, anything to save myself: sort of a “must, must, must act now or DIE” thing. The problem being that, since I was in no danger, there was nothing I could do.
What he said. You sound like you had a very intense emotional response to very real heartbreak. Not a panic attack, but probably even more sucky.
