I work (until Sunday*) in support for a software company that does hotel reservation software. Not a bad gig, but sometimes the users can be a pain in the ass.
So I get a call from a guy at one of our German properties. The problem he has, which occurs every freaking night for this property, is one of exclusive use. To run maintenance and end the day with our software you have to have exclusive use, which means that everyone has to log off out of the software. This is not, technically speaking, a very hard thing to do. It requires clicking on the escape button twice, then clicking on quit. This problem, technically, isn’t our problem. This is one of user/network management, not an actual software problem. This property calls just about every night with the issue. It usually goes like this, they call, we go find the user who has the software running, we tell them who left the software running and they go turn off the computer. Sometimes we have to kill the session because the computer is in an office they don’t have access to (usually the freaking GMs office). The other issue is that the auditor who calls is often a dick about it. It other auditor (a woman) is much nicer when she calls. So anyway I am talking with this guy last night and the conversation goes like this:
Me: The user with open files is JDumbass (name changed to protect the idiot)
Him: Yes, I know her.
Me: Ok, you need to turn off her computer.
Him: Well, I am in Germany and she is in Austria. ::Said in a totally condescending tone of voice::
Me: Well, then, just invade. It’s not like you haven’t done it before.
I am not quite sure how that made it past my internal filter, which is usually pretty good at catching that kind of stuff before I actually utter it.
Yeah, the next version has a fancy ‘Log all the idiots off’ button which will fix the whole mess. That is until the user logs off all the idiots then closes his own session with out allowing login and can’t get back in. The next version also has an idle timer which will log people out after x amount of inactivity.
I’m almost tempted to get more info about your software for the company I work for. Our reservation software is about 20 years old, and is the least intuitive piece of crap I have ever seen.
The software rocks. Our support is pretty good as well.
After I said that there was a moment of silence. On my part I was thinking ‘Man, that was the outside voice. You were supposed to use the *inside *voice’. I then went on with ‘Well I killed the session. If you get the message again call back. I’ll stay connected so just ask for me.’ I kinda rushed through that. He said ok and I hung up and proceeded to laugh for about 5 minutes. He didn’t call back.
I hope he wasn’t offended but I guess I’ll find out on Saturday.
I wish I could think of things that funny on the spur of the moment - but since my “clientele” includes judges with contempt powers, it’s probably just as well I’m dry & boring. :smack:
A good friend of mine had a very similar unfiltered moment. He was* working for a German company partnered with a local Japanese firm, and for an upcoming project they were working with an Italian firm. The line just wrote itself.
A similar comment by friends when they were in high school and attending an international food fair on a field trip with their history teacher. They’d managed to find the German food stand (sausage!), but one of them really wanted French pastries. The place was huge, confusing, and loud.
“How do I get to the French food stand?” the pastry kid yelled.
“Easy!” One of the others yelled back. “Go through the Belgian stand!”
The Germans running the stand were not amused. Their history teacher, however, just about fell over laughing.
