I can’t find the transcript or clips online yet, but they’ll be there. I just saw Dog the Bounty Hunter on Sean Hannity- his first interview since Niggergate* and he seemed truly seemed ashamed and sorry that he was caught and all. But then it got bizarre- and it sounds like I’m making it up but it’ll be online tomorrow if not before.
When asked how he was going to make amends, he told a tearful story about a recent visit to Mt. Vernon, where he was taken in a golf cart to see the slave cemetery which is a flat field facing the Potomac with no markers. He thought the guide was being racist when he said the slaves were buried with their feet facing the water so their spirits could walk over the water back to Africa. Until this, Dog maintains, he thought of Washington’s slaves as having been members of the family because, hey, he said, they went by the name Washington, but you know what? They weren’t really, they were like slaves and stuff.
So Dog says he has made arrangements with the two Catholic owners (his emphasis) for his remains to be buried in an unmarked grave in the middle of that field with the slaves, his feet facing the water as eternal atonement. Somehow he worked in that he has native American ancestry and this is a big deal, and that one day (he actually said this) children will ask their parents “Why is Dog buried in that field with slaves?” and they can tell their kids the story…
Uh… okay.
You just gotta see this, he’s set a new beam in celebrity scandal WEIRD Quotient, and ironically he seemed perfectly sane (if a little melodramatic and narcissistic [STOP REFERRING TO YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON, DOG!]) while telling it. Odd. And it should certainly delight the slaves buried there, for it’s a well known fact that most slaves dreamed of spending eternity with a long haired bearded white-trash guy who said “nigger” and who chased fugitive minorities for a living.
*I apologize if that offends, but hey, I USE WORDS LIKE THAT IN POSTS! And I don’t want somebody to make bullshit out of all my work on the Dope by going and selling it to the National Enquirer… UNDERSTAND!?
I’m a seventh generation Alabamian hillbilly. When I was a kid I was surrounded by old women who pissed on the ground, my mother once advised her niece to never shoot at her husband with a higher caliber than a .22, my first car had hay in the back seat, and the nearest church to our house had an all Down’s Syndrome Holy Family for their Christmas pageant while half the congregation wore camouflage. Just two weeks ago I went to a family reunion where an 85 year old preacher in a jumpsuit standing in an open air tabernacle asked God to heal his pit bull’s infection from an amateur castration. All things considered, I think I’ve inherited the right to use the term. :rolleyes:
ETA: And if Dog (an ex-con with a mullet, 14 kids, and a wife with jugs the size of watermelons who doesn’t wear a bra) isn’t white-trash, then the term was coined for naught.
Whew…for a second there, I had this image in my mind of Dog being interred with a piano crate stuffed with his bound and gagged—well, the important thing is, it’s not true, right?
That’s great. How soon can this be done? It’d be a great season finale.
I wish I were less cynical about such things, because I find it a bit of a stretch to believe that the slave cemetery at Mt. Vernon is still accepting new tenants. Wouldn’t that be some sort of historical landmark by now?
Maybe his carcass could be taxidermied in the manner of Lenin or Jeremy Bentham, then dressed in a jockey costume and propped up by the front gate. A suitably dignified end for a remarkable man.
If the man has some degree of Native American ancestry, then I believe the most ethnically suitable descriptor would be “half-breed.” Or perhaps in this case, “half-trash.”
If three of his grandparents were considered “white trash,” then I think he’d be a “quatrash.” Whereas someone with a seven-eighths ancestry would be an “octrash.”
I’m not sure whether this system accounts for marriage between siblings though.