Drat, if you’re “doin’ just fine”, then you don’t have any need for me :smack:
I’m 47 and I’ve always been single and probably will remain so. Being half of a couple instead of a single would be a big change in my life and after a few decades I’m settled into a routine I’m happy in. I wonder about the possible benefits of being in a steady relationship that I’m missing. But I’m also aware of the benefits of being single that I’d lose. And that’s without even touching the issue of possible parenthood.
I’ve joked with close friends that an “ideal” relationship for me would be to find a married woman who had no desire to leave her husband and family, but who needed affection and sex 1-3 times a week, and had evenings open to fit that in. The advantages of a more-or-less stable relationship without the hassles of having a regular girlfriend. 
But leaving aside that my Catholic upbringing would never let me do it (despite my having renounced Rome; you just can’t shake some habits), it opens up some very unpleasant possibilities better left avoided. And is a moot point since I seem to be in a stage of life where women find me naturally repulsive.
My position (when I turned about 40-45 or so) was simply that I don’t want to be putting a kid through college at age 60 (now, if by some miracle I found a soulmate and married, it’d be age 70), assuming I live that long (I’m long term diabetic; the odds are good I won’t make it much past 60 if I make it to 60). So I sympathize with any hesitance you have about parenthood at your age.
Cheers,
bcg
The “I’m too old to father children” problem has a clear solution – find someone who also doesn’t want to have children. If she already has some, and they are a real handful, then you can be sure that she’ll take birth control very very very very very seriously.
Around the same age here, and I was thinking the same way until quite recently.
Met a girl when I was 21 (in college). We were together for twenty years. Never married, but we moved in together upon graduation. Things went bad about halfway through, when I found out she’d been cheating on me for years, with lots of men. She swore it would never happen again, and I believed her. Then I caught her again. And she swore, and I believed (repeat numerous times). We broke up.
I was single for about eight years. I dated, but I came to realize that I was quite happy being single, and assumed that I would stay that way for the rest of my life.
But things change. I’m 49 now. And married. Very happily so. Who would have thought?
Not so much accept I’ll be single forever, as accept that it’s a plausible outcome and that I will not make a big deal of it. Maybe there’s someone tomorrow, maybe at 83, maybe between 54 and it ends at 65, I won’t knock myself out over it. Single M, 47
I used to worry about being alone, especially after my engagement broke up several years ago. Now I have come to the conclusion that if I am going to be alone I guess it’s okay. I don’t worry about it too much as I am pretty busy with work and stuff.
I have some very good friends and a great family, so I don’t really feel alone. If romance is destined to come into my life, that’s cool. If not, I supoose that’s the way it’s supposed to be. I am not in any way a fatalist about this stuff, but I just don’t have time to worry about it. Does that make sense?
One thing to consider, Shroud, is to whom are those noxious people married? Perhaps their spouses are even more noxious and beat them nightly with a frying pan while slipping increasing doses of poison into their coffee. Remember, public appearances are not always the same as reality.
In less than a month, I’ll be 50. I would really rather NOT be single, but I fear that’s probably my fate. As someone mentioned above, we women tend to outlive men, so the pickings get slimmer as we get older. And frankly, we’re less likely to have the patience and energy to deal with men (in general, of COURSE there are great exceptions to the rule! I was with one for several years).
If “the One” does come along, I’ll welcome him gladly, but I’m not really willing, at this point, to try and hunt someone down. I’ve been single for 5 years, so far, I think I’m probably right.
Being single has never been a big deal to me. I’m 27 now and relationships really haven’t been an issue. (Between work and late college schooling i don’t have much time to dwell on it.)
What’s strange is that forming connections with the opposite sex has never really been a problem. I make friends with women pretty damn consistently. And some of my “friends’” have also sent up the easily recognized signals. (Anyone seen the episode of “Family Guy” where Brian’s girlfriend set’s up the landing gear before Cleveland moves in with the steal? Yeah, it’s pretty much like that…) But I never take the bait and, unlike Brian, I never regret it. I’m not completely sure why.
I’m a guy and, I confess, I prefer to keep my female friends at a distance. (There’s two women, right now, I’m 90% sure if I went up to them and said, “Let’s try to make this work” would be all for it. One I don’t do it because of past, non relationship, related problems that I’m still working through, and the other because I value her friendship too much. I don’t want her to reject me and make things awkward.) I know, objectively at least, that I’m not unattractive. But I have a tendency to form connections before long term relationships enter the picture.
Sexually, I’m not a virgin, but I can count the number of times on one hand. Again, it’s really never been a big deal. As a mature male I know that’s unusual, but that’s just the way it is. Sex isn’t that important to me, but emotional connections are.
Sometimes, like when I’m really drunk, I’ll wish for someone beside me just to laugh with and hold, but the sensation usually passes the next day.
To the women out there, not all men settle when they’re younger. Keep your eyes open. 
This. Single female, 28.
“Accept” isn’t the word for it. When I was about 9 or 10, I said I was never going to get married; my mom of course said I would feel differently when I grew up. I’m just short of 45 now and have never changed my mind on that point.
I don’t know if I’ve accepted it yet. I’m 35, extremely shy, never had a relationship. I also have a bad habit of not looking people in the eye, so I’m sure that I’m sending the wrong body language, and if someone is sending me body language I’m not seeing it.
I don’t speak body language either. Are you me?
ETA: Of course you’re not me; we’re not exactly the same age. So are you near me? How you doing?
For anyone? You really think you’re so special that you are the very most worthless person out of all 6 billion humans on this planet? Worse than all the prisoners, Jerry Springer guests, drug addicts, spouse abusers, etc. who have somehow found someone to put up with them?
The nice thing about finding a compatible person is that it only takes finding one.
Even if 99 of the next 100 people you meet think you’re a disgusting loser or an obnoxious asshole, the 1 person who doesn’t see you that way makes up for it.
I experienced a lot of rejection and heartbreak from the age of about 16 to the age of 25. It did get very discouraging, but I finally did find a man who was everything I needed and who is eerily compatible with me. It put all the past failures in perspective.
I keep thinking that through all my failures, I keep getting a little better at being a nice person that someone would like to be around. I hope it all works out.
Christ, guys, I think you guys are the only ones taking my relationship situation more seriously than I am. I didn’t want to reply, but whatever, I’ll bite.
Yes, I’m bitter and jaded; so what? I gave up precisely because I didn’t want to wallow in self-pity anymore; I couldn’t get in a relationship, boo hoo hoo… ok, fine, now that I’ve accepted that painfully and reluctantly, I’m freeing up my time and emotions to spend on more worthwhile/non-futile pursuits. I realized I can’t have it all; I can either keep chasing girls that I’ll never get, or I can chase my other dreams and not feel like a worthless failure all the time. So I’m seeking fulfillment through other channels. Is that really such a bad thing?!
Much, much healthier, IMHO, than hooking up with one of those prisoners/Jerry Springer guests/drug addicts/spouse abusers/etc. out of desperation.
But I’m one of those bitter, jaded losers like you ;), so I must be fullashit…
Cheers,
bcg
You say this, but at the same time these threads are always filled with advice about how you must have a good job and lots of money and personal success and fashion sense and the wit of Oscar Wilde. I have to wonder how all those Jerry Springer people manage to pair up when the demands are so high.
Whose demands? Yeah, maybe you’d need all of these things to appeal to the person for whom all of these things are true, but I don’t think most of the rest of us want in a partner things we can’t really live up to ourselves. I can’t keep up with Oscar Wilde. I can barely keep up with Oscar Madison.