Did you and your SO say "I love you" at the same time?

If not, how long did it take before the other said it back?

On Saturday night, my boyfriend of 3 months (and 14 days) told me that he loves me. There are no words for how happy that makes me. :slight_smile: Unfortunately, though, our timing is a little off in that I’m not quite ready to say the same to him.

I told him so, and explained that I care about him very much, he means a great deal to me, and I do feel that I’m falling for him – it’s just that love doesn’t come easily for me, so it takes me a while to get there. But I believe that I will get there with him, and I assured him that I’m not some emotional cripple who is unable to love. I was worried about how he’d react, because I didn’t want him to be hurt that I didn’t say it back, but he said that he still loves me anyway. :wink: I feel a little awkward about not being able to say it back to him yet, but mostly I think we’re both ok with the situation.

What’s the story with you and your SO? Is anyone in the same boat as me, where one of you has said it but the other hasn’t yet?

We said it at the same time - about 3 days after meeting here. He emailed me on the Friday, we emailed back and forth over the weekend and then he phoned me on the Sunday. I asked him to marry me that day, he said yes - we met IRL two weeks later. That was in late May/early June 2002 and we married in August 2004. Wow, it’ll be our 5 year anniversary of first meeting in May, cool :slight_smile:

Oddly enough, I can’t remember the first “I love you” between my husband and me. What does stick out in my mind is when we had been dating a few months and he casually mentioned that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

At the time, my reaction (mentally) was :eek:

But what I said was, “That’s nice.” Then very quickly changed the subject.
Fortunately he let it slide until a couple of months later when I reached the same conclusion.

Yes, and then I said “Jinx!” and wouldn’t let her talk for 3 days. The birth of a beautiful relationship.

My wife and I basically said it in unison. We were at a little Irish Pub, in the table by the corner next to the hearth. Sipping some sort of wine with a rasberry chocolate tort…

Misnomer - not ready to say it even though it appears you feel it?

My now-husband said the L-word a couple of months into our dating relationship, I think. Certainly it was a month or so before I was ready to say it. He had decided he wanted to marry me after about 3 weeks, but was smart enough not to say so until I was ready to hear it.

My SO said it more than a year after I did – after he broke up with me and subsequently realized that he did, in fact, love me. Fortunately, I’m a forgiving soul. :slight_smile:

I think my sweetie pie said it first. I didn’t say it back that very moment because I didn’t want to seem like I was just going along with it, but I said it maybe the next time we were together.

ArchiveGuy, that made me laugh out loud!

Phlosphr, if I felt it I’d say it. Honest. :slight_smile:

Licentious Ectomorph, no offense to your SO now, but I don’t think that I’ll be as dense/slow as him. :wink:

shrug It’s all in how you look at it. He realized how miserable he was without me and that no other guy could compare. :wink:

Hmmm. Himself said it way before I did. He’d say it, and I’d smile, maybe say “That’s nice”, but I wouldn’t say it back. :smiley: I certainly didn’t want to scare him off. So anyway, one day, I’m trying to take a nap and he said it, and I just smiled at him, and he said “I said…I love you”, making it clear he pretty much expected a definite answer this time. So I said…“Oh, okay, I love you too, now hush.” :stuck_out_tongue: I’m such a romantic.

I said it first, but she told me she wasn’t ready to say it to me yet. That was weird, because I was about 99% certain she loved me back. She later told me that the day after I told her I loved her, she actually hopped around in joy inside the bathroom of an Atlanta Bread Company (I always picture Reese Witherspoon after she found out she won in Election).

She reciprocated a week later.

I said it first. His response was something like, “I think I’m falling in love, too.” A couple of days later he was sure. :smiley:

Hubby said it first, about 3 days after we started seeing each other. At first I would roll my eyes at him and say, “yeah, right”. We were just supposed to be having a cheap summer fling. He wasn’t supposed to be “the” guy. He said it was ok, he knew I wasn’t ready to say it back but he was going to keep saying it until I was ready. It took a couple of months and by then he had already decided we were going to get married. Guess he was right. That was almost 16 years ago and we just celebrated 14 years of marriage in January.

I told my girlfriend I loved her at the bar, while drunk, on her birthday. The girl across from us asked what I had just whispered in my girlfriend’s ear. I asked the SO if I could tell her and she nodded. I yelled across to the girl, “I TOLD HER I LOVED HER FOR THE FIRST TIME!”


I immediately had fear inside of me as I darted my head to look my girlfriend in the eyes. She smiled, kissed me, and whispered into my ear, “I love you back.”


Awww, Spezza, that’s cute! :slight_smile:

Team of Scientists and Delores Reborn: When your SOs said it back to you a few days/a week later, did it feel at all like they were saying it just because you had? I feel like I’m this close to being in love with him, but now I’m going to be kind of self-conscious about saying it for the first time. Maybe. I’ll probably just say it one night when we’re out drinking and he does something cute.

Speaking of which: Spezza, that is cute! My SO told me that he almost said it at the bar Saturday night, while we were celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. In fact, when he said it later that night at first I accused him of still being drunk. :smiley:

She told me I loved her, first. I couldn’t deny it.

“Wow, you really love me, don’t you?”

“I suppose so.”


It’s only very recently that she has started making the flip-side statement of that. I still don’t feel totally comfortable casually dropping it, although I am fecking nuts about her.


I said it to my fiancee a few weeks before she said it back. I could tell she wanted to say it, and loved hearing it, but she had some issues she was dealing with, and was terrified to fall in love. I didn’t mind. She got there eventually.

No. I said it first. He said something that I could not possibly. say any thing else to. And sent me a picture…oh my.

We met onlines. And I said it. Then backpedeled like crazy. Then he said it. Now we both say it. :slight_smile: