I know START has posted some stuff on these boards that strikes most of us as adolescent idiocy. I really don’t think the post that was closed this morning is one such example, though. He relates a tale in his typical raw writing style (I find it compelling, myself) relating a tale of how he was with some other teenage boys, trying to go along with the jokes and fit in and not make waves, as so many young people are taught to do, when he realized that what they were doing was <i>wrong</I>. He removed himself from the situation, and disassociated himself from the boys’ company. I wouldn’t say he handled it ideally… saying “they were the ones being gay” made me cringe a little, but I was going to post commending him for making a stand, while chastising him gently for that. All in all, though, it looks like he’s learning something.
We all gave him hell before when he posted about his friend who was doing something wrong, but rather than do something about it he kept his mouth shut and continued to be friends with the guy. Then he found out first-hand that it’s a bad idea to stay friends with bad people, when the bad friend was crassly disrespectful about his dead brother’s possessions. I’d like to think that <b>START</b>, while far from perfect, learned from that experience and is now, in his own way, sharing a story demonstrating that he now is willing to take a stand against “friends” who are doing wrong.
Maybe, just maybe, we’ve dispelled a little ignorance here. Please, mods, re-open the thread so I can tell this young man I’m proud of him.
I agree with the OP. START and his buddy did the right thing by walking home rather than staying in the car with those assholes who were harrassing the guys in the park. His thread may have been better suited for LiveJournal, but it wasn’t “homophobic ramblings,” as far as I could see. I was rather shocked to see Cajun Man’s explanation for closing the thread.
I’m gonna jump in here and add my voice to that of Miss Violaceous… this thread was, I think, wrongly closed.
Homo-phobia-phobia, I guess.
START acted (with the exception of one comment which might be excused as slang) ‘properly’ in this situation, showing that he’s definitely grown and matured.
I too wanted to post a way-to-go for him.
I hope this’ll do.
Here’s to you START. Keep it up, you’re coming along quite nicely.
Oh, and since this is the pit: Fuck fuckity fuck fuck. Stupid Gay Dog.
The mod saw some words which frightened & confused him, even though the actual point was that START was complaining about stupid & malicious homophobic behavior. (Granted, START hasn’t learned to bow before SDMB sacred cows so he easily opens himself up to attack.)
Same mod got the shakes at a couple of gun threads also. He locked the first when a “hey guys, keep OT & cool it about the interloper” would have sufficed.
The second thread was aimed at the interloper so he had a somewhat better justification for locking it, but added a warning to the opener, which struck me as a bit excessive.
I’m new here, so I don’t the place that well. Is there possibly an age gap between START and most of the other people here that would make it easier for him to be misunderstood?
Sometimes it’s harder to grasp what young people are saying amongst all the “likes,” etc. It just seems like perhaps the mod picked up the wrong “tone,” because it was written the way a teenager would say it. I mean, if the mod got was START was saying, I don’t see why he would have locked the thread.
I can tell that you guys put your writing skills to use here, but maybe my generation is so used to conversing with friends over the internet that we don’t even think of these things as “writing.”
I guess what I’m getting at is please don’t discriminate based on age. It’s just as bad as race, sex, etc.
Yeah, I know the argument that kids today use gay as a pejorative without referencing anyone’s sexuality. That argument is patently false in this case. While it was a small part of the OP, it uses “gay” as an insult while referencing someone’s sexuality. Looks homophobic to me. And the whole story just left a bad taste in my mouth.
That sentence didn’t bother me too much (easy for me to say, I know), because:
“Gay” used against homophobes is the last thing they want to hear. (Not that it’s appropriate—just that it very well may have been the rationale.)
Baby steps. Baby steps. He stood up against assholes, and walked home rather than riding with them. The end result was a good one. What I see with this is that he’s trying.
The first reason may well explain the rationale; but as you state, that doesn’t make it appropriate. The cure for homophobia is not more homophobia.
The second reason makes sense to me; at the same time, some tough love might help him make those baby steps a little faster.
I don’t have a strong opinion on the mod’s actions here either way; I was just posting because I don’t think it’s proper to minimize that slur on his part.
Yeah, “tough love” in that he is told that “gay” isn’t appropriate (which is all that you’re doing). But I hope no one wants to kick him while he’s down. He’s vulnerable right now, he’s posted an apology in MPSIMS (he’s obviously trying), and I think that he needs a little room to breathe. But I agree—I cringe when I hear the word “gay” used as a generic insult, and I don’t think it should be glossed over.
I think START has said in the past that he comes from a very religious, Pentecostal family, so he probably has had very little exposure to gay people, or has heard horrible mistruths his entire life. He has also said his parents won’t let him watch South Park, so I can only imagine he has minimal exposure to mainstream media and popular culture. Add to that the fact that he’s a teenage boy, and most teenage boys are idiots and assholes, and you’ll realize that he probably has a severely-limited worldview at this point. He has a lot to learn, and with such limited direct sources of knowledge (family, friends, media), he will just have go make mistakes until he realizes things for himself. Hopefully the SDMB will end up doing its part to fight ignorance, but in the meantime, he would probably be better off with a LiveJournal account as well, to spare himself from being picked apart after every story he tells.
By this I meant that his friends, fellow teenage boys, are probably the idiots and assholes (as evidenced in his story). He stood up against them, which is admirable, but it is unfortunate that he socializes with them to begin with.
Don’t you guys see that you have to communicate with young jerks on their level, or they won’t understand what you’re trying to say?
If you tell them they’re homophobic or go on about racist slurs they’ll just kind of get dumbfounded then probably say something ignorant. If you say “you’re acting gay,” there’s a good chance they’ll shut up, and maybe even think about what they did.
Yeah, I agree that it’s an ugly insult, and espescially in this case it’s more confusing as to how it was being used, but you should accept that that’s the only language kids like the ones START was dealing with speak.
Younger people on the whole, at least the way I see it, are more accepting of homosexuality than older generations. We have different ways of dealing with it, ways that you probably won’t ever totally understand, but at least we are dealing with it.
Holy cow. Homophobic ramblings? He was defending the gay guys. Tthe same thread might well have been shut down at Stormfront, and the user warned to take his pro-gay agenda elsewhere.
using the word gay is homophobic? what? use of the word gay may be insensitive to some, but I think calling someone using that word homophobic is…well…stupid. get over yourself already, not everything is about YOU.