Did you go to the same college as your HS sweetheart?

When planning for college, did you plan to follow them to college? Did anyone try to dissuade you? Would you do it again?

Yes, for 3 of 4 years.

No, we actually went to different schools for our first year. She transferred to my school after that. She (more than me) tired of doing the long-distance thing, and she hated her school. I’m not sure how much our relationship had to do with that.

Originally my HS sweetheart wanted to go the the same school just because I was going there. People talked her into going to another school, because it was a better fit for her major. She wound up hating it and transferred to my school.

Yes, but I only say that because we’re still together (15 years now, 8 married).

My advice to someone facing such a decision would be to not sacrifice any goals or dreams to be with HS sweetheart, keep your options open. IME, most high school relationships don’t make it. I was certainly not mature enough at 17-18 years really truly understand a serious relationship (despite me being in one). But don’t be afraid to make a mistake. Not that you want to make a mistake, but the decisions of where to go to school, what to study, and your friends are not concrete. People go to school all the time with a lifelong dream of being a surgeon, only to discover they have a passion for teaching (for example). Humans mature so ridiculously fast at that age. Many change to discover their high school sweetheart is no longer who they want. You meet so many people from different backgrounds, interests, and cultures.

It’s a personal decision, and I wouldn’t criticize whatever the decision. It’s one you’ve got to try to make for yourself with the information that is available currently. And re-evaluate as you live life and new information comes available (you discover new interests, you meet new people, etc). I wound up loving the one I was already with. :slight_smile:

If you’re the one facing this decision, I wish you the best! Be smart, be flexible, and stuff has a weird way of working out. What an exciting time in life, enjoy it!

Yes, but not at the same time. My HS girlfriend was 2 years younger, so I had switched colleges by the time she graduated. We had broken up by that time anyway.

There never was an issue with it, because we both went to local JCs before moving on to 4 year schools.

I still communicate with her semi-regularly, even though it’s been 38 years since high school.

My high school gf and I headed off for colleges about 500 miles apart. This was pre-internet, cell phone, etc. She almost convinced me to transfer to a school closer to her, and I am forever thankful that my brother stepped in with some great advice. (essentially, “don’t do it.”) By the end of the first semester I was happily dating someone else.

Nope, and it would have been a terrible idea to do so. He went to an expensive liberal arts college out in the middle of nowhere, about 6 hours from where we lived. I wanted a good scientific degree and unlike his parents, mine weren’t well-off. I went to a well-regarded state university a couple hours from home, and between scholarships and Pell grants, got most of my education covered. Fortunately I knew all this at the time and was very practical about my choice of colleges, if absolutely heartbroken that he ended up going so far away rather than a similar school closer to home. (I don’t recall why he didn’t, if it was for a particular instructor or merit scholarships or what.)

It would also have been terrible because we broke up at the start of my sophomore year of college - he was two years ahead of me. (Turns out he was also very deeply closeted and came out a couple years later, so being at the same college wouldn’t have saved the relationship.) I rebounded with a guy from my dorm - and over 20 years later, we’re still together, married, and very happy.

I did, and we lived on the same floor and it lasted all of a semester. After which I moved back home and went to community college while I figured shit out. Figuring shit out took forfreakingever, though. I spent the next 10 years trying to do that.

It was for the best, and I’m glad the relationship didn’t last.