My girlfriend and I are in love… not the usual under-20 crap, I mean, I seriouly love her and care about her, and she cares for me the same. We met while I was a senior and she was a sophomore in high school… she is presently a junior and I am a college freshman.
Our relationship, while relatively young, seems very strongly founded. We have never had a single arguement, as we always look to the other’s point of view, and meet in the middle. We don’t have tensions between our families, and are both from fairly stable families.
My question is, do we have a chance of making it together? I would love nothing more than to be with her forever, although I know that is sometimes unrealistic.
Are there any couples out there who started as high school sweethearts?
Hmmm, this is old stuff, but my maternal grandparents met and “bonded” at age 12 and stayed together their entire lives. For more recent news, I have as friends a couple that I met individually in college, when they were apart. They’d been high school sweethearts but had broken up. They later relinked and married and have been married for 22 years now (first baby due next month).
So, don’t let statistics color your life, pal. There’re a lot of life situations you’ll likely encounter in the next few years that may strain the relationship, but there’s no reason to think that it cannot persist. One bit you’ve got to get past is that, and I’m really trying to not talk down to you here, you’ve both probably still got a bit of the old maturation process to get through. A lot of stuff happens between 18 and 22.
Well, good luck to you, pal. Good luck to both of you.
It is possible.
Well, unless you’re asking the statistical odds of staying together, this seem like IMHO fodder.
MHO is rather resembling of a train wreck, though, so I’ll refrain from sharing…
But good luck…
Just to clear up myself, I am fully aware that we each have a lot of growing to do as people… my view is, however, that if we truly care about one another, always are flexible to one another, and grow together, we have a chance of making it.
Well the first wife and I met when I was a Sophomore (age 15) and she was a junior. It was great. I thought pretty early on that I was going to marry her (within a few months). We recognized that we wanted to finish high school, finish college, and be working in the real world for at least a year before we would seriously start working on the marriage thing. We dated for seven years, and were married for another seven. I have very fond memories of her and expect I will never be that close to someone again.
That being said, I do recognize that I sacrificed a lot of my youth to be with her so long. . . and given the opportunity of hindsight may not have done it that way.
Sure it’s possible. I know several people who have done it. I also know many more who, after they’ve been married for a few years, decide that they didn’t do enough “experiencing life” before they settled down, and decided they would do it now (read: divorce). The latter scenario is more common in my experience. My wife and I are not one of these couples. We started going out in early college. Then we broke up. A few years later, we got back together after having zero contact with each other. We dated for a few years, and got married. We both agree that the time we spent apart was incredibly valuable, and that we probably would have drifted apart had we stayed together the whole time. The reason we think that we would have drifted apart was that we had TONS of growing that we HAD to do. What do I mean by “HAD”? I mean that it was necessary to our spirit (not spirit as in “soul”, but spirit as in “human spirit”… that which drives us, and makes us curious), not that we had room to do it. I think that this is what leads to so many divorces among couples who marry from relationships formed at such a young age. Their “spirit” feels deprived of the experiences missed. I’m not saying that this is true of everyone, as obviously it is not… some people do make it, and those that do seem genuinely happy. I have noticed a common theme among those who do stay together… I’d say that about 80% of them are very religious. I don’t know what that means, it’s just something I’ve noticed.
I see that you wrote that you’ve never had an argument with your girlfriend. I anticipate that you’ll get a lot of crap from others for that. I know that I do when I mention that my wife (of 6 years) and I have never had a fight. (I am assuming that you mean “verbal fight” rather than “disagreement” when you write “argument”… no one can will agree with you on everything.) People tell us that it is not healthy to not fight. Bullcorn… I say it’s not healthy to fight. You just gotta realize that, at times, EVERYONE is selfish, and EVERYONE is rude. That’s just human nature. Easier said than done, but… when your significant other is ACTING LIKE a jerk (as opposed to when they ARE a jerk… then you kick ‘em to the curb), you can either butt heads with them while they are in their “mood”, or call them on it later, when things can be rationally discussed (yes, I realize that there are situations that require you to call them on it right then and there, but it can still be done without fighting - figurative force does not have to be met with figurative force). That being said (written), most of it is a crapshoot. It’s really going to depend on the personalities of the people who comprise the couple as to whether a couple can avoid actual fights.
Whatever you do, be happy, and do your best to keep your significant other happy. If you can, learn to make yourself happy by making your significant other happy. If you learn to do that, you’re half way there. (Don’t ask me where “there” is, or what the recipe for the other half is 
). Good luck to you and yours.
Do not use the “never had an arguement” factor as a measurement of the strength of your relationship. By doing so, when you finally do have an arguement (it’s gonna happen, kid) you’ll think it’s splittsville time. Quit worrying about the future so much. Go with your heart. That’s what love is. It certainly isn’t logical by any means.Your worries about if you’re going to make are silly. Enjoy each other now, if it lasts, it lasts. My wife and I have been together almost 20 years, and I’m only 39! We never worried about the future together. We just let it happen. Trying to be logical about love will surely kill it.
Being young and in love is excellent! Enjoy!
Off to MPSIMS
My girlfriend and I are in love… not the usual under-20 crap, I mean, I seriouly love her and care about her, and she cares for me the same. We met while I was a senior and she was a sophomore in high school… she is presently a junior and I am a college freshman.
Our relationship, while relatively young, seems very strongly founded.
not a valid reason for a strong relationship.
- fair enough, but opinions can get a whole lot different when more serious issues roll around.
your families are not in a relationship. you 2 are. And just because someone came from a “bad” family does not mean their relationships will be “bad” too.
I’m glad you found someone you can feel like that about. I dont want to rain on your parade, but you are both still young. You both still have a lot of growing to do.
I wish you luck.
I just went to my 30th high school reunion. There were a handful of couples there who had been together since high school. There were even a few there who met in high school, but didn’t actually start dating until sometime later.
However, I know a lot more high school couples who broke up before they were even through with college, much less out in the real world. So my advice is to hang in there, but don’t make any long-term plans just yet.
Sure- it’s wonderful that things are going so well right now.
You could be that rare couple where it works.
I think whatever you’re doing is fine as long as don’t get married or anything- not for many years.
Also- be careful. If things don’t work out at some point, the feelings after the breakup could be devastating. You might feel like the world has ended.
That’s when it will be hard to remember that nothing is permanent in the world and no one ever knows what will happen. There can also be all kinds of surprises, good and bad. That’s what makes life interesting.
But I wish you the best of luck. No one can predict what wil happen to you two. It could be beautiful.
Although I have lurked for a while and continue to lurk, this is something I can speak to. My wife and I met when we were freshmen (freshpeople?) in high school. We started dating when we were juniors and we have been together for 11 years now (married 5 years). I really think that the big key in our relationship is that when we went to college ( I went to a school in Massachusetts and she went to a school in Washington state), we ** did not ** make any promises to each other. We were in love and we felt that we would always be together. However, we recognized that high school relationships usually do not work out. So, we went off to college and agreed that we could see other people.
The amazing thing is that we each recognized, independently, that neither one of us * wanted * to see anyone else. We only saw each other during the summers, and on some holidays, but we became increasingly committed to each other. We kept in touch by computer chatting, long telephone calls and letters (far more on her part than mine - I’m a terrible correspondent). After college, she came with me when I went to Washington D.C. for law school. We “lived in sin” for a year and then got married.
Now, she’s my best friend in the world and I cannot imagine my life without her.
However, the problem is that it is impossible to tell when you are in high school or early in college whether you will be one of the lucky couples to make it or not. We had friends who were just as, if not more, committed to each other and who split up in college. The reason that you can’t know is that you will both change dramatically over the next few years. My wife and I were lucky enough that when we changed, it was in similar directions and we grew closer. Often that simply will not happen.
My advice to you, as someone who has made a high school relationship into the foundation of his life, is to not make any permanent commitments right now. Wait and see what happens over the next few years. If by the time you both get out of college (which sounds like five years from your post), then make lifetime commitments. Waiting to make commitments will not hurt your relationship. If it is meant to be between you, then it ** will ** be. But, give it time and see where you are in the future.
First of all one of the most important things to learn in a relationship is how to have a really good blow-up without hurting each other bad enough to break up. If you don’t start fighting soon, you’ll never stay together.
My husband and I were friends in high school. We started dating in college. We got married while I was still in college. We’ve been married 13 years.
My sister and her husband started dating in high school. They were married while he was still in college. She didn’t go to college. They just celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary.
Second, you don’t know what is going to happen. Spend time together as long as you enjoy each other. Then if someday you think your ready to plan for the long-term because you have experienced life enough, decide what to do then.
I’m not a big believer in high school sweethearts. I’ve just never believed that you could meet the love of your life when your 16 years old. I think it’s great that you guys are in love and want to be together though. I would recommend that you don’t get married right away. Date through college and see how it goes. You don’t want to get married right away and 10-15 years later regret not doing the things young people do.
As for not fighting… I don’t think that means you have a healthy relationship. An arguement now and then is good for a relationship. My fiancee and I don’t fight a lot but we have our moments. There’s nothing wrong with disagreements and little arguements, I think those are part of a healthy relationship. But I don’t think having a knock down drag out fight is healthy. I went through that with my ex-husband and it was awful. I finally quit speaking to him because every time I did he’d start yelling. Who needs to live like that?
Take your time in the relationship and listen to both your heart and your head, and you can’t go wrong!
Purplebear and I meet when we were sophomores in high school. I proposed to her at our Senior prome. We were married 2 years later, and have been married for 21 years. I know of another couple who were in our class and got married before graduation and last I heard from them they were still married. I belive that it dosn’t matter how old you are, but the improtant thing is how mature you are. If the two of you have the same values then you have a chance. Don’t get me wrong it won’t be easy you have to work at it. But I have found that to be true with anything in life that was worth anything. My advise to you would be to take your time, patience will allow you to make sure that the two of you are really soul mates. Good luck to you!
My sister married her high school sweetheart. She was a sophomore and he a junior when they met. Dated throughout college, married soon thereafter.
They just celebrated their 9th anniversary. Three beautiful kids, second house. A more stable and loving marriage I’ve yet to see. My sister and I are extremely close and I know this isn’t an example of a facade a la American Beauty.
YMMV.
Father and mother met when father was in HS and mother a frosh in college. Father was engaged to her by senior year. Got married 2 years after HS graduation.
21 years June 2 (this past). Yes, it does work. No, it’s not a perfect marriage. That doesn’t exist.
Don’t worry about marriage. Worry about being with her and being without her.
Well I met my husband my senior year in high school at a football game. Though at the time we didn’t have a relationship, the following summer we clicked at band camp. I know, sounds kinda dorky. Anyway, we just got married this month and have been together for 2 years. He and I do have little spats but never big arguments. he hasn’t had to sleep on the couch yet… I think it can work out with a lot of effort. My biggest hesitation was the life experiences I would miss out on by getting married at such an early age. But we don’t plan of having any chitlins’ for a while, so that we can experience life like other people our age. The commitment is a lot, but if you’re in love, you’ll know wether you can handle it.
I’m incredibly relieved I didn’t marry my high school sweetheart, even though we were very much in love at the beginning.
It’s already been mentioned, but I really want to emphasize not rushing into marriage. Enjoy being in love. Don’t worry about the future, especially since, as you said, you both have so much growing and changing to do.
I personally think the marriage decision should never be made during the infatuation phase. The infatuation phase always settles into a more comfortable calm stage, where you can see if you’re truly compatible for the long-term. Sometimes you find that, although you were totally and completely in love, you aren’t necessarily people who should spend their whole lives together.
What he said. I love you, honey. Always.