Is it possible to have a lasting relationship when there is a rather large age gap. The woman in this scenario is 15 years younger than the man. I’m not going to give the ages of the parties yet but the woman is at least 21.
Define “lasting relationship”. It’s been 18 months for us and I don’t see it ending until one of us dies. He’s 58 and I’m 36.
It was a barrier to our getting together, for sure, because I didn’t consider him “datable” due to his age. He had feelings for me for four years while we were “just friends.” I knew he was interested for the last two of them, but as I said: undatable. We got along great, I made excuses to hang out with him because I loved talking to him so much, but whenever he’d hit on me, I’d laugh it off and redirect the conversation to safer territory.
Finally, I literally meditated on it, and realized that if someone I had a crush on someone for that long who wasn’t attracted to me, say because I’m fat, and they gave me the chance to show them how awesome I could be…well, that would be the coolest thing ever! So why was his age any different? I decided to give him a shot, and it was amazing. The most amazing connection - physical, spiritual and emotional - that I ever experienced. We were living together just over a month later.
I know we must look ridiculous walking down the street cooing at each other and holding hands like teenagers. Not only is he 22 years my senior, but he looks a good 10 years older than he is due to some pretty hard living and sun damage and bad teeth. I know people are thinking, “hmmm…money or drugs?” 
And I just don’t care. We’re awesome.
ETA: Of course there is, duh. We all know couples who have been together for a long time with significant age differences.
Personally: my boyfriend was 16 when I was born. We have been together 6 years now and are very happy.
My husband is 45 and I’m 33. We met when he was 30 and I was 18 (I know, skeevy, right?!) and got married when I was 24 and he was 36.
The age gap has never bothered me particularly, except for a faint nagging worry that he will be the one to die first, but I don’t spend a lot of time dwelling on this. We joke that when we met, I was a fairly mature 18-year-old, and he was a fairly immature 30-year-old, so that worked out well for us. 
Next August will be our 10-year wedding anniversary and things are still going really great. I feel lucky to have him.
My sister and her husband are 29 and 47. They are one of the best matches I have ever seen.
Lasting relationship to me is the same as you described not ending until the natural death of one of the parties.
I wanted to hear stories because I’m not sure if this is love or infatuation on both our sides. I know we both have our issues (Me living at home the same age as you are) and her with some problems that I don’t feel comfortable posting about just yet,
My grandmother and grandfather were together until he died, and they were 13 years apart.
Then again, “long-lasting” in this scenario doesn’t equate to “successful” or “happy.”
Oh. I guess you don’t want to hear from any Dopers unless they are widowed?
My boyfriend’s parents had a 13-year age difference and were happily married for over 40 years, ending in his father’s death. His mother’s parents had 18 (I think?) years between them, and same deal.
My mom and step dad got together when he was 23 and she was 34. They’re still together almost 23 years later.
I think “in-progress” would meet the OP’s criteria.
Wow so many positive posts here. I now feel comfortable posting more info.
A few weeks ago I met a woman who is 16 years younger than me. I’m 36 and she is 21. When we are together things seem seem just perfect. I can’t explain it but it’s just a feeling. I don’t know if this is infatuation on both our parts or love. She said she doesn’t care about the age difference and if other have a problem they can f-themselves.
I do know I am happy when I’m around her and I find myself missing her when we are apart.
She does have some mental problems that she takes medication for and after we started spending time together she checked into a facility because she knew the medication she was on was not helping and she was afraid she would hurt herself or others.
I’ve stayed by her side, visiting her when I can and I can tell that she brightens up when I am around her.
I know what she is going through is not her fault and I would feel like a major-league a-hole if I left her during this time because she is trying to get the help she needs.
My next-to-youngest sister is at least 15 years younger than her husband; they’ve been together 20 years but married about 15, I think.
My brother is 17 years older than his wife. They’ve been married about 12 years, I think.
My daddy is at least 15 years older than his SO. They’ve been together around 13 years, I think.
All of these relationships are healthy and thriving. Apparently, if you’re compatible in enough other ways, age is not a problem. 
Not regarding a romantic relationship (well we did have sex once when we were drunk) but I’m 36 and my best friend of the last 10 years is a 24 year old female. We met at a party when I was 26 and she was 14 and had a instant friendship…and it’s been interesting to watch each other grow up.
You too, huh? 
Mine was exacerbated by his developing diverticulitis and a perforated colon requiring an emergency colostomy surgery the week we were to move in together. Nothing like 4 days on a vent in the ICU to make you face your (loved one’s) mortality right quick like!
I mostly deal with the fear by not thinking about it too much. But we’ve also discussed it at great length, hiring a financial planner and investment adviser who can help us set things up for a probable lengthy widowhood on my part.
But, ya never know. My stepmom is fond of referring to two of her married friends with exactly the same age span. After all their careful planning for her future alone, his parents are still alive and kicking at 100 and 101, and her father died at 61 and mother at 66 - so he may very well end up outliving her!
MannyL, I know that people will tell you that your life experiences because of the difference in age and how old she is means that you’re not compatible. But only you two can figure that out for sure. I don’t see anything wrong with the two of you dating and determining that for yourselves.
I will say to just be careful should you two become serious. Beware the difference between someone who is in love with you, and someone who just really enjoys and appreciates how you feel about and treat her. Given some of the background you’ve provided, it can be a thin line.
Good luck, and have fun.
I’m 40 and she’s 24. We’ve been together for 1.5 years.
It’s going OK, mostly because I was rather immature–I’ve had to “start over” a couple of times, so we’re not on widely disparate levels in some ways.
Also–and this sounds wierd, but bear with me–our parents are all the same age, i.e., born in the same year. I think our upbringings were much more similar than those of many other couples with disparate ages.
Fortunately I don’t look my age so the anyone who doesn’t know us we look like we belong. We were dancing two weeks ago and there was an older couple I’d say in their 60’s who said we make a cute couple.
I believe her mother had a concern about the differences in our life experiences but I’ve spoken and lunched with them and they seem to be accepting me.
I know from my past I fall “in love” easily and in the past I have not made the best decisions when it comes to relationships. I wasn’t looking to meet anyone when I met her and the **last ** thing I want is to hurt her.
Hearing the stories of other dopes who have had successful relationships with such a gap makes me feel better about the future. I know I can never use the cheesey line “Where were you for most of my life” because the answer would be “not born for half of it” 
My parents are 21 years apart. They have been together for 40 years. The only caveat I guess is that Mom is in her 60s, an age when a lot of couples are out enjoying retirement, traveling whatever. Dad is now at a point where his health doesn’t allow him to do those things. Mom spends a lot of her time helping Dad out.
But I wouldn’t say that this is a reason to dismiss a relationship where there is a big age difference. After all, they have had 40 years which is more than a lot of marriages. Most people would kill to have a good marriage for that long.
I married a man 11 years older (26-37). We were happily married until his death. The gap doesn’t make me wonder. Her age does a bit since 21 in today’s years is pretty damned young. But it might work. She’s not a child, but there could be a power imbalance.
I almost feel like my replying will be taken as a Really Bad Sign. Sorry if I’m the proverbial prophet o’ doom.
But yeah, Steve’s mortality was really damned obvious since he was basically given months to live when we met, but it still couldn’t be something I thought about all the time. Oh, it popped up with a vengeance at times, and my stress levels were high enough to see the Great Wall, but I wasn’t consciously thinking about it most of the time.
You get used to things. Even horrible things. And then, yay, you get to have horrible reckonings every so often that remind you not to get too comfortable, and then, if you’re anything like me, you get comfortable again. Around and around. I didn’t ever get to have the sort of marriage where we thought of the future, and now I’m all out of the habit.
And… back to the regularly scheduled thread!
I asked her today if she would love me when I’m bald and gray and she she said with a smile “Of course, I love you now” The other week she invited me to go to her Church with her. I did and after the service she introduced me to her friends there as her boyfriend. One person there asked me if I was Jewish and I admitted that I was and they seemed to accept me.