I noticed that too.
What amazes me is the near-absence of the AntiChrist in a Book of Revelation comic…
this ain’t Jack Chick-land.
I know you aren’t the first to point this out, but damn I’m glad because after I saw that comics that’s all I thought.
It’s a sin to do what I’m thinking, isn’t it?
Can I interest anyone in some literature?
Unfortunately, they are now 30 years older and bitter that the rapture hasn’t happened yet.
that was the first thing I noticed. I am a bit confused about the 144,000 Jews converting the rest of the world, though–apparently to Christianity. Wonder how they feel about that?
I also noticed that no fat or sick people get raptured (guess they’re in the waiting room with the minorities)
I was told by a man at a subway station the other day that if you believe in Jesus he keeps you from getting “kicked in the giblets”. Made me glad to be a girl and not have that problem in the first place.
Maybe not, but this is. 
I knew a guy back in Texas who took Jack Chick very, very seriously indeed.
It’s Danny Dunn and the Divine Time Machine!!!
In 1974, Hal Lindsey discovered the real reason why Christianity hadn’t yet been embraced by the entire population of Earth: *Not enough punctuation marks!!! *
PAGE 8!!! “2600 years ago, God revealed many awesome predictions about future world events to the prophet Daniel-- (‘But Daniel, keep this prophecy a secret! SEAL it up so it will not be understood until the End Times–’ Daniel 12:4) For all these years no one could OPEN the scroll and unlock the mystery!!!”
Then WHY bother to reveal these awesome predictions in the FIRST PLACE, if they won’t be UNDERSTOOD until after they’ve already HAPPENED??? Is this just God’s scaled-up version of a stage magic routine, where he opens the envelope at the end and reveals that the card I picked earlier was inside ALL ALONG???
PAGE 12!!! —“And there will be fearful sights and great signs from outer space”-- I’m pretty sure the Bible doesn’t actually use the phrase “outer space,” Hal!!! Because they wanted to be taken seriously!!!
PAGE 13!!! “AN H-BOMB!!!”
PAGE 14!!! Check out Joe’s incredulous ejaculation!!! “144,000 Jewish evangelists!!!???!!!” Nine punctuation marks!!!???!!! That’s got to be some kind of record for a non-internet-based communication!!!
PAGE 17!!! “The Apostle John is listing the FOUR BIG SINS of the Tribulation!!!” “That’s the SAME LIST we’d write today!!!” No, it probably ISN’T!!!
PAGE 19!!! “ANOTHER H-BOMB!!!”
PAGE 22!!! “God’s judgement is so poetic!!! The religious prostitute is destroyed by her own partner!!!” I like the smirk on Danny’s face as he says that!!! Irene looks like she’s having second thoughts in that panel!!!
PAGE 23!!! “INCREDIBLE!!! John wrote 2000 YEARS AGO and described modern helicopters PERFECTLY!!!” No, he really DIDN’T!!!
PAGE 30!!! “Peter wrote a pretty accurate description of an H-bomb 2000 years ago!!!” If you’re GENEROUS, that is!!! Or if you’re predisposed to see descriptions of H-bombs EVERYWHERE!!!
PAGE 31!!! “It all seems like SCIENCE FICTION!!!” “Or a FAIRY TALE!!!” Yeah, it kind of DOES, doesn’t it!!!???!!! Or a CRAPPY COMIC BOOK!!! These lines inspire the suspicion that the writer of this adaptation may not have been taking it entirely SERIOUSLY!!!
Speaking of which, major props to Al Hartley for his excellent ILLUSTRATIONS!!! The Book of Revelation is seriously improved by GROOVY FLYING CHICKS!!! Never before have I masturbated so SUCCESSFULLY to Biblical prophecy!!! He can illustrate my Apocalypse ANYTIME!!!
Not only that, but they appear to be weightless and the common method of transportation is floating on air! I wants me some of that! Where do I sign up? At the nearest church?
Jack Chick’s Big Daddy tract used to claim that science had no idea what was the binding force of the atomic nucleus, therefore it’s God, it’s since been rewritten, but it still implies the same claim. It’s about three quarters of the way down the page here:
-The comment 'If gluons aren’t the answer…" -implying that gluons are a discarded theory - is a recent addition - more recent in fact than the experiments that have yielded evidence of the existence of gluons.
So just to be clear: after gluons were hypothesised, and supporting for them evidence arose, the tract was rewritten to imply the opposite.
Kent Hovind wrote most of the ‘science’ in that tract, BTW.
As opposed to figuratively exploding.
I have a confession, not only did I use to have a copy of the comic (as well as an early Buck Rogers), but I saw The Late Great Planet Earth in the theater! Even worse, I was like 10 years old and I wanted to see it! :eek: :eek: :eek:
See, I thought it was going to be something like Star Wars which it wasn’t. (I will say, having seen it since then, that it’s worth watching just to hear the tone of amusement in Orson’s voice. Not to mention it implies that the AntiChrist is either Bob Dole or Ronald Reagan. :D) As for why I bought the comic book, see, my mom was always dragging me around to Christian bookstores, and since it was drawn by the guy who did the Archie comics, I thought that it’d be cool. (Yeah, I was a bit dense as a kid.)
I will say that the Whore of Babylon is pretty smokin’ hot and I’ll be her john anytime!
Speaking of Babylon, I highly recommend reading *The Two Babylons: or The Papal Worship Proved to be the Worship of Nimrod and His Wife* by the Rev. Alexander Hislop. Hislop was some kind of 19th Century rabid anti-Catholic (How anti-Catholic? Jack Chick’s a fan!) who used the Book of Revelation to attack the Catholic Church. However, if you read carefully, you’ll realize (unlike the Rev. Hislop) that John was railing against the Roman Empire and not the Catholic Church.
Still, the comic book is perfect for any kid who has the Talking Jesus Doll (with Kung Fu Grip[sup]TM[/sup])!
Well, there were some Asian looking dudes who were going to be starving because there was no fish for their nets.
Fat People Don’t Get Raptured would be an awesome bumper sticker/flame war.
Apostle John writes in English! Who knew!
Brown People don’t get Snatch’d if you know what I mean. Sides, eating fish isn’t Christian enough. You gotta eat the Holy Cow to fight the Godless Commie Pinko bastards.
[size]Chicken Moment: Why are Godless Commie Bastards colored pink? Did they wash their godless undies with their godless red sweater in godless hot water or something?[/size]
That would be worse, because we’d never really get to the bottom of what had happened;
“has every atom exploded?”
“Yes, yes it has, well, in a manner of speaking, anyway…”
I bet it works quite well with the guys, though. Brilliant conversion technique!
I’ve probably just reconfirmed my Hell reservation for this, but I have a mental image of a Simpsonsesque tractor beam coming down from the heavens, and rapturing a few folk, then scanning across to lock on to a fat guy, trying to rapture him once or twice, only getting him about three feet off the ground, then giving up…
Is it just coincidence that the hand icon was resting on the blonde’s boob when I got to that panel?
I think not.
I wonder if the Jesus doll cries real tears? Does he come complete with loaves and fishes or are those sold separately? And however shall they market Mary Magdalene?
Or the wheelchair guy–the beam tries and tries, but just can’t grab the chair, and the guy falls in slo-mo back to earth…
I am so going to hell…