I’ll save you a place by the fire.
The last message is: All you need to do is “COME”!!!
Just give me ten minutes, Lord. Five minutes, if you send some of those hot 70’s babes my way.
I’ve had people trying to feed me that line as recently as 1998. I generally avoid people like that, though.
So now I gotta wear bellbottoms if I want to be raptured? All the time? Sheesh, that’s going to be a pain.
Since the Common Market is no more, we can all live in peace, right? (If it was the EU that was the problem, Prophetic Hal would clearly have mentioned that instead.)
I keep seeing Hal Lindsey’s show listed when when I’m surfing the cable guide. I will never stop being amazed at how people continue to have followers after their previous predictions have been proven utterly false.
I used to love Hal Lindsey on “Barney Miller.” What the hell happened to him? I didn’t realize he was a Jesus nut.
No, wait, that was Hal Linden. Sorry.
Anyway, I also wanted to point out that the chick in the striped sweater has an amazing rack.
Not to mention her blowjob lips, which are emphasized by the fact that in virtually every panel she has a wide-eyed O-mouth surprise face.
I recently encountered an individual who thinks vegetarians are sinning " 'cause the Bible says you’re supposed to eat meat."
I had heard about this comic, but I had never seen it before. Hilarious.
Did you ever think that the hot girls with great racks, blowjob lips, and short skirts are why it’s called Heaven? I’m imagining floating up in the tractor beam, seeing which of the hot skirt wearing babes go commando. 
Maybe the Rapture will be accompanied by a stiff upward wind.
A stiff upward something, certainly.
Bacon.
Oops, wrong thread.
I’m not really a Bible scholar, so help me out here. What part of the Bible specifically mentions Red China?
For that matter, who is Larry Norman and what’s the title of his “great song”?
:smack: I just realized why Lindsey obsesses so much over H-bombs in the Bible: It’s the power of Christ that keeps every atom from literally exploding!
Logically, then, an atomic explosion is more powerful than Christ.
This gives us the perfect means to prevent Armageddon, since the prophecy of the End Times necessarily requires the return of Christ. When he appears, nuke him.
It’s the only way to be sure.
I remember this comic from the 70’s. The image I never got out my mind was the red fist of Satan shaking at the Star of David with the caption: “No wonder Satan hates the Jews” or something like that. If you look at his life–four marriages-- you’ve got to wonder out loud, if this is more a case of obsessive compulsive disorder, rather than belief system. Also, his knowledge of atomic physics is appalling.
Having watched him on TV one time, his sincerity came across as that of a game show host. Which would explain why a lot of people buy into his theology of spiritual onanism.
Picture Hal’s response to the following tale:
“And lo, Jesus said to Hal, ‘And how does this feed and cloth my neighbor, Hal?’” 
I noticed that too. No ugly people, no older people, no fat people, no disabled people and no non-caucasians. It’s going to be a fucking boring up there.
This has to be satire.
That was where Moses parted the Red China. So now you have Taiwan on one side and the mainland on the other.
I’m not going to look again because my mind can’t take it, but I swear I remember one Afro-tastic girl getting sucked up by the holy vacuum cleaner…
I just looked it through- nope.
As an old(er) fat guy, I’m qualified to answer the gripe “Apparently, no (fat/sick/disabled/old) people get Raptured” in the comic- the very process of the Rapture is
supposed to perfect our bodies so anyone Raptured will no longer be fat/sick/disabled/old… the whiteness of the comic, tho, I gotta agree with you on.
To cover a few other comments-
Lindsey & others see Red China as the source of the 200 million monster calvary in the Sixth Trumpet of Rev 9, and the invasion from the East in the Sixth Vial of Rev 16.
Larry Norman was one of the first Christian rock musicians of the early 1970s, and the song in question was “I Wish We’d All Been Ready”, which ended with the line
“There’s no time to change your mind. The Son has come and you’ve been left behind.” In a case of things coming round full circle, the song was used in the soundtracks of the 70’s Rapture film A THIEF IN THE NIGHT and then in, of course, LEFT BEHIND.
Thanks for the info. Ignorance fought.
…70’s Rapture films…now there’s a genre that doesn’t get much shelf space at Blockbuster…
You are so going to hell for such impure thoughts 
LOL, awesome.
Thanks for starting my day with a good laugh.