Legomancer, your Paco story is really a good one. I think I can beat it, though 
During my sophomore year in high school, my friend Alan and I both took computer science classes. Our classes were in different periods, but taught in the same lab. A few weeks into the year, we were talking, and Alan mentioned this crazy kid in his CS class named Mike. Mike was a tall, thin, awkward-looking kid who had a bit of a temper, and would get increasingly angry with the compiler for reporting errors in his programs. He would scream obscenities, pound his fist on the keyboard, etc. One time he calmly stood up, backed away, and headbutted the monitor (didn’t actually push it off the desk, mind you). He never caused any real damage, and the teacher eventually gave up on trying to get him to stop this behavior.
A few months into the year, the computers started misbehaving. Each day, my class would come into the room and certain machines would not boot up, would blue-screen constantly, etc. One day I came in and my machine asked for a boot disk. It no longer had an operating system.
I was talking to Alan about this, and it turns out that Mike had begun punishing the computers that wouldn’t compile his programs by playing Russian roulette with system files. He would start deleting stuff until the machine would no longer boot, then move on to the next one.
One time, when he was supposed to be coding, he opened an eBay account under the name “Abrahamo Lincolni” (it still exists, look for yourself) and bid $34,000 on a Steinway grand piano. Fortunately, he lost the auction.
During our junior and senior years, his shenanigans got more and more unbelievable. One time he stole a 50-pound concrete chicken off someone’s front lawn, and placed it in front of the main entrance to the building. It remained there until a few kids lifted it and dropped it, causing it to shatter. I still have a chunk of Mike’s chicken on my desk.
During my senior year, the school installed security cameras. I was sitting on a bench during a free period one day, and Mike walked over holding a roll of duct tape. He ripped a big piece of black plastic off a trash bag, and taped it over the camera.
Mike had a short stint as a DJ on the school radio station. He was suspended several times for slandering teachers on the air, and finally was permanently banned from the station. He had racked up the MHS all-time record for FCC violations committed by one DJ. I listened to his show a few times, and it was actually really funny.
There are really too many Mike stories for me to list here. I could discuss the time he barged into the principal’s office and interrupted a phone call in order to complain about the Computer Code of Conduct. Or the time he produced $50 in pennies and $250 cash in an obsessive attempt to make the sophomore class lose a “Penny War” fund raiser contest. Or, the time he filled my friend Rob’s Chevy Lumina with garbage, up to window level. There really is just too much to list with this guy.
I heard that after high school, he went to the University of Connecticut at Hartford, where he was kicked out during his first semester for some incident involving a fire in his room. I’ve talked to a lot of people from high school, and nobody seems to know what has become of him since. As one of my friends put it, “He’ll either end up in jail, or in charge of a major corporation.”
-Andrew L