One of my high school “friends” once said “Oh, I love those shoes! I had a pair of them back when they were in style!” But the cut in that so-called compliment was so blatant I just laughed in her face.
The mother of a guy I was dating once said “You’re so different from the girls Joe usually brings home – they’re usually so flashy and made-up.” Um, thanks? No flash here, nope. Let me just schlump my way back over to the taco dip.
I think the perfect response to such “compliments” is a cheery “Fuck you very much!” Unfortunately, that’s the comment I have to bite back 99% of the time, settling instead for the pained smile, which is much more polite but way less satisfactory.
Re: the makeup comment, True Story, I swear. Got home for my first vacation from college, walked in the front door, and my mother greets me with “You really should wear makeup more often. It makes your face look so much better!!”
Gee, thanks Mom. (And I get my looks from your side of the family!)
In high school, I played 2nd base for the school’s team. Upon making an unassisted triple play, I jogged back to the dug out all proud of myself and greated by a delighted coach who exclaimed, “And that kind of defense is the reason I let you play everyday!”
Oh thanks coach, so you’re saying I’m not good enough at hitting, running, or throwing the ball to be a starter? I mean I was never a power hitter but a .270 batting average doesn’t downright suck either. Not to much having the 2nd most stolen bases and the most assists on the team. None of that gets me the starting slot at 2nd base everyday?
I hear this one from my mom, too. One year when I was home on a semester break my mom wanted me to put makeup on for something because I “look so much better with it.”
At that point my brother said, “are you saying she needs makeup, Mom? Because I think she looks pretty good without it.”
Just the other day at work, a co-worker from another department was in my supervisor’s office (okay, more like a cubicle), which is right next to mine. I heard this:
Co-worker: Hey where was this picture taken?
Supervisor: Jeannie’s wedding. See her in the middle with the white dress?
C: Oh…Oh, my! (shouting over the wall) Hey, Jeannie, you look pretty!
Me: Uh…thanks.
Granted, I always wear jeans and stuff to work, never do my hair, never wear make-up. But is it so hard to believe that if I put an effort in, that I could actually be pretty?
I also get people say, “Oh, you should wear your hair down. You look so much better like that.”
Uh…thanks…I’ll try to dress up for you more often.
I once had a boyfriend who delighted in compliments like these mentioned. He would say, “You’re special, in an Olympic sort of way”. Special Olympics? How wonderful!
This wasn’t directed at me, but at my best friend, dlight (while he was present, BTW)…
A guy was describing a co-worker to us: “That guy is so skinny he looks like he’s got some disease! Of course, he’s not as skinny as dlight…”
I laughed so hard that dlight was mad at me for about a week!
One directed at me: after an audition for a part as an extra in a Korean sci-fi movie, the casting lady says, in Broken English, “OK, I think we use you… but we some good-looking people, too. You know anyone good-looking?” I think I may have actually said “Fuck you very much” as I left…
My MIL, every time I see her: “You’d be so pretty if you would curl your hair and put on some make-up more often.”
I hate having my hair in my eyes when I work, so I usually put it back. Baby also loves to tug on bouncy curls.
Make-up drives me bananas; I feel like my face is being smothered whenever I use it. I wear it three times a year, tops.
You have such great taste in casual clothes from a co-worker.
So what, you say? Well, this was back in the days of the suit-only workplace.
That dress makes you look like an eggplant Another co-worker. Then he gives me a did-I-say-that-out-loud look of horror and tries to re-coup with Eggplants are my favorite vegetable!.
“You look so young for your age. Why don’t you wear make-up?” Cause not wearing make-up keeps you looking young for your age? Or should I wear make-up to look older?
