The best one I have seen is in the bathroom at the local Superior Court. Some brain dead faux rebel wrote:
Only God can Judge me.
Somebody else wrote: He did, that’s why you’re here.
My favorite:
“I fucked your mother.”
In different handwriting underneath:
“Go home, dad. You’re drunk.”
My favourite ever was the following, with reference to the then Chancellor and Principal of McGill University:
“Gretta Chambers is a lovely lady but Bernie Shapiro is a fink!”
it’s better if you’re hearing it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK2pFvd6FYY
My favorite is really really stupid and random, but it makes me giggle every time I see it. The sign says “Girls” and above it, somebody has written “Looo”. Spelled like that.
Loo is just a funny word and it cracks me up for some reason.
My personal favorite:
Above all the hearts and “I Love Such and Such:”
Give your guy a little class
Don’t write his name where you wipe your ass
When I was in college just about all the paper dispensers had “[College] Diplomas…Take One” written on them. And the ubiquitous “Flush twice, it’s a long way to the cafeteria”
Once in Vegas I saw the toilet seat cover dispenser labeled “Cowboy Hats”
Back when the Earth had barely cooled (early 1980’s) I was putting myself through university doing mechanical paste up in a printing shop. The people I worked with were artsy, punky typoes, and given the variety of art tools at our disposal, the stalls were covered with brilliant and wittyy sayings/drawings and other creative deposits.
I NEVER had despoiled a washroom in my life.
One night, I had an inspiration. The word play in the washroom was often brilliant and punny. So, in rather small letters, I finally wrote: “You are all such cunning linguists!”
About (no less than) 20 minutes later my boss yelled at me accross the room " FML!>>> Please don’t deface the bathrooms…!" I asked him how he “knew”… He said “No one else but you could come up with something like that!”
I blushed with pride and shame
Regards
FML
Dude, the group Deep Purple beat you to that by a few years…
The title was an homage, I just read it and loved it. One of the reasons I started this thread was so I could hear some examples of what you guys have see.
I wish I could respond to everyones posts, because I love them all. So thank you.
Another variation:
Some come her to sit and think,
Some come here to wonder,
I come here to shit and stink,
and fart like bloody thunder.
And the classic arrow to the condom machine with “this chewing gum tastes bad.”
A pub I used to go in from time to time was just around the corner from Leeds University, and was famous for its wall of graffiti above the urinals. Because the pub was frequented by students, the graffiti were a step above the usual - stuff like:
“I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.”
“Please do not discard cigarette ends in the urinals. They block the beer pumps.”
… and the like.
Nothing new, of course, but better than the normal “DARRYL IS A WANKER” stuff, and the wall was a kind of tourist attraction among students.
One lunchtime, I went in there and the toilets (US: bathrooms) had been redecorated, all the graffiti painted over in white.
And there, in tiny writing in the middle of the wall above the urinals, was this little message:
This used to be a good wall once.
It stayed there for several days before anyone wrote anything else.
And always the classic:
Don’t look here for the joke, look down.
ETA: I never did find the joke though.
I’m a big fan of Push button; receive bacon.
ETA: Here’s a better picture.
“Please do not discard cigarette ends in the urinals. They make them soggy and hard to light.”
Here I sit in peaceful bliss
Just listening to the trickling piss
'now and then a fart is heard
Followed by a great fat turd.
Some come here to sit and think
Others come to shit and stink
I just came to scratch my balls
and write bullshit on the walls