My father taught us that it’s wrong, wrong, WRONG to twirl spaghetti against a spoon. Only little kids do that, adults are able to twirl without using a spoon. I was also taught to break off and butter only a small portion of the roll, and to cut one bite of meat at a time.
These days, I break up the noodles before I boil them, so they’re already in shorter lengths. I butter the entire roll at once, and I generally cut several pieces of meat at once, too.
I had NO IDEA this was bad manners. Mom always cut up all my meat at one time for me, so I kind of figured that was the way I was supposed to do it, when they finally trusted me with a knife. Now I finally know why I have never been invited to dinner at the White House!
It’s not the end of the world but it’s quite uncouth.
A bit like tucking your napkin into your collar instead of laying it on your lap - nobody’s going to die, but you make yourself look like a buffoon.
When I was just a child my Mom read a newspaper article about how Canadian Troops going to dine at Buckingham Palace had all been retrained to eat in this fashion, so as not to appear boorish to the Brits. She decided that she wanted her children to be able to sit down with royalty and appear well bred, on this front.
She immediately switched us over to this method, telling us, ‘We could eat with the Queen one day!’ We were young so the switch was easy. I’m glad someone cared enough to teach us well.
I do, however, cut my spaghetti, once in each direction. I know it’s not, strictly speaking, the way it’s done. But it’s a trade off that keeps me from having spaghetti sauce on my clothes.
Oh, and I’m still waiting for my invite to the Palace.
Having actually had a meal with the Queen, lemme tell you - it’s not all that.
Do tell. I’m begging you…
There was a royal visit to my local back in the day that my father was in charge of. My bro was in the military unit that was being honoured and I was his date for a number of royal functions.
The dudes with the really big guns were sort of interesting tho…
I appreciate polite eating <don’t chew with your mouth full, don’t stuff your face, ask for the salt rather than reach> but the technicalities about which hand to use to do what, or when to cut what, are ridiculous, vary from place to place, impractical, and ridiculous. Did I mention silly? Oh, and ridiculous.
The Queen when at a banquet to honour a foreign diplomat from the third world watched him drink his finger bowl.
There was what can only be described as mute shock by the other attendees of the banquet.
Her Mag then picked up her own finger bowl and drank it .
Without expression all the other guests immedietley drank their finger bowls.
Theres etiquette and then theres true class.
If I felt that my table manners were under scrutiny, I simply wouldn’t eat more than a few bites. I’d just spend the dinner in pleasant conversation (exclusively with my tablemate on my left during one entire course, and then to my right for the next; as the gentlefolk do, you know).
“Slithy, didn’t you like your supper? You hardly touched it!” I’d just smile and say I couldn’t eat a bit more, thank you. Rude questions are best ignored.
I grew up as poor white trash. Despite that, I was taught some basic table manners (my extended family wasn’t all poor white trash). The rest of my manners – table and otherwise – I picked up via careful observation. Certainly I’m not always all that polite around here, but I was also observant enough to pick up on context switching. 
I personally find cut spaghetti, with all those little slippery pieces to fall off the fork, to be much more mess-prone than twirled. Twirling takes some patience, and you can’t twirl big gobs of noodles. But if you take it slow and twirl small amounts, it’s just as neat, if not neater, than cutting the noodles.
After a very brief amount of research, I found that table manners not only vary from place to place, but are mutually exclusive in many cases, so why stress? When in doubt, just sorta glance around to see what others are doing and mimic, just like any other social situation.
As for the “American” way to use a knife and fork, I’m from Texas, my dad is from Boston/California and I’ve spent much of my life moving from one place to another (ahh the lifestyle of the AAFES Brat). The way I ended up learning to use a fork and knife was to hold the fork upside down in my left, but with my hand thumb-side-up, knife in my right hand, stick the piece of meat I want, cut it free, spin the fork around to present the food to my mouth, bite and chew. Repeat.
None of this over-complicated switching back and forth stuff. And why aren’t we picking up the food with the fork until the back half of the process? Why isn’t the food already on the fork to begin with? What was the fork DOING when the knife was cutting if it wasn’t stuck into the food?
As far as spaghetti goes, I twirl it either against the plate or in the bowl (depending on what the spaghetti is served in). Sometimes I will just end up with a glorious twirl of spaghetti almost as big as my ego which I then proceed to wolf down, but if I am trying to be polite/neat, I will twirl up a smaller portion, and if there is excess hanging off, hold it closer to the plate and just bite the twirl off the fork (the excess will fall back to the dish, hopefully with a minimal splash)
I’ve had spaghetti served to me cut up into pieces. it was impossible to eat because of this. Only more annoying thing I’ve seen anyone do with spaghetti was to mix in chunks of beef and claim they had made Yakisoba. Speaking of Asian food, if I am eating an Asian noodle dish like Yakisoba or Ramen, of course I eat it with chopsticks, like a civilized human being.
Oh, and of course, who can forget Air Force Basic Military Training eating manners? You grab your food for your tray while looking forward and sidestepping, maintaining tray contact with the trainees next to you (except for trainees of an opposite gender, who you always maintain one-tray-length of separation from, grab three drinks (one has to be water, the other two can be juice), take your tray past the snake-pit and sit where the Chow Runner tells you (front or back of the table), and (typically) stand at the table until you have four people there, then sit and eat. Eat your food as fast as humanly possible without choking to death, leave as soon as you finish your last drink. Never finish before everybody else at the table does, and never slow down to take more time than absolutley needed to eat. Never finish eating before a table before you has finished eating; this is called “Table Humping” and is one of the rudest things you can do. Finish chewing before you stand up to leave, last two trainees at the table consolidate the trays and take them to the clipper. Fall out and form up outside the chow hall before you return to your dormitory.
Man, I don’t miss Basic at all.
ETA: Never ever eat spaghetti, pasta, pizza, or anything else red and saucy/juicy while wearing your Blues. One must not tempt fate. incidentally, while I was stationed at an Army base with significant Air Force presence, the chow hall served spaghetti, pasta, and pizza EVERY FREAKING MONDAY.
Of course, scrutinizing the table manners of those not under your jurisdiction is rude to begin with.
Anyway, I’ve always eaten with the fork in the right hand, tines up, and the knife in the left, in what I assume is a typical Canadian o-u-r-but-i-z-e middle road between the American and British styles. Nobody’s ever pointed it out to me as grotesquely incorrect, not even when I was under their jurisdiction, but I suppose it’s the sort of thing I’ll have to be observant about.
Excellent username post!
Depends. If, like my mother, you bring out your inner Generalissimo every time you sit at a table, tucking your napkin into your collar can be the Right Thing To Do, manners be damned.
(She gives herself medals)
I have to tell you, that not only do I not think this is typical Canadian o-u-r-but-i-z-e middle road as I’ve never seen any other person in Canada do this, I don’t even think I can imagine what you’re actually doing.
How to you steady a piece of food with your fork to cut it with your knife if the tines are pointed up? And how do you cut with your left hand?
He cuts with his left hand by holding a knife in it and making a slashing movement across the food. It works, promise. I’m one of those weirdos who can’t make up our minds whether we’re lefties or righties, and I can assure you that a decent knife cuts properly whether you hold it in the left or the right hand.
But what does he do with the fork? Mash the meat down with the tines, 'cus I gotta say, that sounds sort of… awkward.