I can smell disdain.
Myself, I just go with the plate is empty, asking for a doggy bag, or projectile vomiting if the meal is particularly unpalatetable.
Smells like victory.
I eat the British way,fork left,knife right throughout the meal.
Couldn’t care less if Americans eat most of the meal with their forks,“Horses for courses”.
Tried it myself but found it awkward.
Can get by quite well eating with chopsticks but won’t do it by preference,always seems to me like trying to start a fire with flint and steel when you could use a lighter instead.
My bugbears are…
Eating with mouth open.
Eating with sloppy,slushy sounds,or for that matter any sounds.
Spilling food.
Burping.
Nose blowing at the table.
Spitting out things into glasses,ashtrays etc.
I have an eleven year old son. We are currently trying to convince him that announcing “Wait for it!” …letting out a loud belch (without, of course, covering his mouth)…and then say “That felt good” is not the height of manners despite how impressed other fifth graders are. I think it will be an uphill battle until he has to impress girls.
He won’t get anywhere with them 'til his diaphragm control is good enough to sustain that belch for at *least *1.8 more seconds, for damn sure.
I switch hands. but I am right handed and could never cut lefty. I was always told to put the fork down once in awhile.
Lust 4 life cracked me up! Blowing your nose at the table! spitting, burping 
I would just lose my appetite on the spot. My paternal grandfather used to slurp his soup and I watched my Mom almost lift out of her seat with aggravation. He would lift up the bowl and slurp, slurp, and put it down. She would go on and on about Grandpa’s slurping afterwards.