Some of us don’t agree that arranged marriages are coercive. Some people arrange their own marriages. I did with my last marriage. I made the critieria I wanted in a husband known matchmakers (using them to do initial screening), met with potential partners (its more like interviewing than dating), and negotiated the terms of the marriage.
Do you believe that shooting a basketball is opening a birthday present?
That’s not arranged marriage.
I didn’t say it was any different.
It brings all the preapproved boys to the yard.
Reading a Dio thread is like watching an old episode of Blossom, except without the self-realization and repentance at the end.
There’s a big difference between telling your child, “If you don’t marry this person, we will kill you,” such as occurs in a forced marriage and saying "If you don’t marry this person, we will disinherit and ignore you, but otherwise leave you alone to live your life which is the worst it can get in an arranged marriage.
Hey, as long as the bride has had her clitoridectomy, I don’t understand all the fuss.
That’s not arranged marriage, that’s just marriage.
That’s you setting your own criteria, not somebody else doing it for you. That’s not arranged marriage.
Fuck yeah. I used to live in Vancouver, and I’d go into a coffee house and if I didn’t order an espresso drink, they’d like - *look at me *- and I felt coerced to order an Americano. The problem, or course, that I mentioned before, with Americanos, is not that they have milk - I never said that - but rather that you are coerced into buying them.
No.
Is setting somebody up on a date arranging a marriage.
You are falsely defining “forced marriage” as necessarily involving death threats.
Hick town West Texas checking in.
I’ve never been coerced into marriage, still single. I work with 2 guys in inner-racial marriages, semi-famous (white) pro football player’s sister married one of his (black) teammates in the Catholic church here.
You need to get out more, stereotype less.
Tell me what I’m wrong about. Don’t just drive by and drop a random, meaningless insult. Have the guts to debate me.
I am defining forced marriage as one in which the choice basically life or death. Loss of money or family approval isn’t really force. It’s a choice you make on which is more important, your chosen spouse or whatever your family will withdraw if you choose that person. In other words, about the same as every other decision in life.
Do you believe that this is a valid analogy? Do you believe that the threat of disownership by one’s parents is as trivial as getting a “look” in a coffee shop.
No. Is saying one thing isn’t the same as another obviously different thing a useful or interesting post?
That is not the definition.
I beg to differ, but this is a semantic nit too petty to pick.
In some cultures, hell yes. Being out in public with a member of the opposite sex without a chaperone, more or less is a declaration of intentions to marry or more bluntly having been seen in a compromising position together, marriage is the only alternative.
It is if other people keep trying to say they are the same thing.