Such things are known to happen. Even if the embryo stops developing very early on, usually because of some sort of fatal genetic problem, the pregnancy can continue for considerably longer.
Well, you said I was failing to understand the point about decorum. Your assumption, of course, is that this point, though expressed with ample clarity in this thread, somehow escaped me. I understood immediately that Dio was rude. The notion of decorum was not somehow so sophisticated and subtle that it escaped me. At some point in the endless stream of public shaming of Dio, I got it that some people felt he was impolite. This idea did not escape my attention. You can rest assured that having carefully read this thread, I did, in fact, understand that some people felt he behaved inappropriately.
Yep. Very limited.
That’s for sure.
The “so what” is that his thread title said “My baby died” and it turns out there WAS no baby. I don’t mean that in a semantic, philosophical. legal or political sense, but in the literal sense that there was no entity at all. Nothing “died.” It was an empty yolk sac. Everyone keeps accusing me of inserting my “political” views, but that isn’t really the case. I felt jerked around by the thread title.
Sure it’s painful. It’s also not the same thing as a dead baby.
That’s a bit over the top, don’t you think?
I say empty yolk sacs aren’t human.
I wasn’t talking to you, I already said you "got it’. I was talking to Walter who’s admitted to not reading the thread that started this pitting, and shows every sign of not reading this one either.
Maybe I’m being a little too harsh on you, but step back and take a look at the situation. The behavior in the thread was beyond jerkitude. Your defending of it isn’t likely to come off as rational, but rather showing that you agree with the offensive position, and think that it was an appropriate response.
If this isn’t the case, it isn’t coming through in your posts.
It wasn’t clear to me from the OP that that is what happened. It might have been an anembryonic pregnancy (the embryo dies off early or fails to develop), or SadDad’s wife miscarried before she went to the hospital. Maybe I read the OP incorrectly, and if so, I stand corrected. But it doesn’t matter in terms of what’s being discussed here.
I have to agree with the OP. That was really uncalled for. I almost can’t believe someone even wrote that. It takes a real jackass to say something like that. Other people have feelings to, you know, D.
Wow. Well, we all stand corrected. We had no idea that SadDad had faxed you his wife’s medical chart and her complete medical history as far as this pregnancy was concerned, so you would know beyond a doubt exactly what happened.
Allow me to be the first in line to extend my apology to Diogenes the Cynic. It appears we all were mistaken.
you stupid, insufferable ass.
'Zactly. Hysterical pregnancies (without any embryo whatsoever) can ocur and so closely mimic a real pregnancy that it isn’t caught until an ultrasound. There are even hormonal changes leading to false positive urine pregnancy tests. The breasts become engorged and lactate, morning sickness, back pain, the whole nine yards.
It’s very easy to be convinced that the woman is pregnant, and the pain and sense of loss is just as real as it would be were there an actual child involved. How could it not? When you’ve started to make plans and pick out names and love the baby you think is coming?
Dio, while I understand your position, and don’t necessarily think you should apologize for having your opinion, you should apologize for your expressing it. No, “I shouldn’t have said that” is not an apology. Then again, the worth of a coerced apology…
wow. I suppose we can’t just leave it with Dio posted before thought (happens to us all) and leave it there?
thought not.
I also don’t agree that an empty yolk sac equates to loss of child, but the missing piece is that the OP and his wife lost a dream. I try not to trample on lost dreams–I have too many of them (speaking generally about life here).
But the Pitting is rather vicious, no? How nasty is considering Dio’s family barely human?
There are people on the SDMB that I truly cannot stand, but I wouldn’t say that about any of them. What is with the vitriol?
He apologized already.
Next?
NONE of that matters, though. The point is, to SadDad and his wife, there WAS a baby. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t the medically correct term-they still felt the loss.
Over the top? I hardly think so.
Oh boo hoo, you felt “jerked around”. Report it to a mod. Jesus.
I was going to say something about giving advice about not posting to someone with over 20,000 (!!) posts - then realized that you had over 11,000 yourself.
There’s a point in there somewhere, I’m sure of it…
“Political position”, bah. How could some weeks old yolk sac in a uterus possibly be a person?¨
I think he realizes that it can be anticipated and dreamed for. But that still doesn’t mean it’s a baby. Is anything that can be anticipated and dreamed for a baby? And should you go to hell as well if you deny this?
Holy crap. Who said that?!??
All I’ve argued here is that posting deeply personal stuff to a BBS is potentially going to backfire the way it did here. I don’t think this is a radical observation. Perhaps a bit conservative, but that is all. Well, I’ve also posted my general eye-roll at this kind of thread, which reminds me of a schoolyard of children circling a boy who’s wetted his pants, calling him names. Just because I roll my eyes at such a circle doesn’t mean I support pants-wetting.
He said in his OP that there wasn’t a fetus. As matter of fact, he used the words “no baby.” Is there some reason we shouldn’t take that at face value?
El, I think you misread that. He said that Dio’s wife and children were “minimal human contact.”
What is this supposed to mean? Saddads post states that is was a “yolk sac. But there’s nothing in it”
Again, get this through your thick skull-THAT IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT.
Or wait, actually in a way, it is. Why do you have such a problem with someone grieving for something that never was? That they THOUGHT was there, but was just a cruel joke?