Direct-marketing ads you can't forget

Inspired by this thread.

In the days before half-hour infomercials and Billy Mays (yes there really was such a time, children), any number of lame products were being sold during daytime and late night TV. Which ones do you fondly (or otherwise) remember?

The ones I can’t get out of my head:

“Hi, I’m Marshall Brodine, a professional magician. You know, most magic tricks are easy…once you know the secret!”

“Sandwiches again?”
“I’m sorry, honey. You know I’m having trouble stretching the paycheck!”