OK guys, help me out here, too. Ever since someone posted the concave up or down thread in GQ, I’ve been thinking of a dirty limerick that I only remember part of. It has to do with a sexual aid.
The couplet in the middle was:
???
???
concave or convex
it could fit either sex
???
Thanks.
I dunno.
My fave was always:
There once was a fellow from Tripoli
Who liked to make love rather nippily.
Complained one young lass
While rubbing her ass:
“Less teethily, please, and more lippily!”
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Spreading her legs so wide.
Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her,
Took one whiff and died!
There once was an infamous hall,
Where there was no gravity at all.
What a glorious feeling
To screw on the ceiling,
And to ball on the wall and not fall!"
There once was a man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine.
Concave or convex
It could fit either sex
With attachments for those in between.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
A sperm faced his moment of truth,
But alas and alack and forsooth!
He’d expected to fall
On a womb’s spongy wall
But was dashed to his death on a tooth.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
A title for this thread (from Reader’s Digest, IIRC):
A lim’rick packs laughs anatomical
In a package that’s quite economical
The good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@kozmo.com
“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective
How about filthy limericks about the SDMB regs?
A man from the Emerald Isle,
the LAdies he liked by the pile,
the thoughts in his head,
seldom he said,
for they were incredibly vile.
pretty lame eh? please do a better one!!
A limerick for you Brits. Blame Edward Gorey.
From Number 10 Penwiper Mews,
Comes most abominable news.
They’ve discovered a head,
In the box for the bread,
But nobody seems to know whose!
There once was a guy named Lew
Whose girlfriend told him “We’re through!”
But without a sound
she soon came around,
Cause she liked the taste of his goo!
You’re welcome.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
There once was a vampire named Mabel
Who’s periods were very unstable
One night by the moon
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.
That’s a pretty one.
Where’s my side of FUN!?
Kisses!
Ophy
My friend from Seattle wrote these. If you like puns, poop and necrophilia, you might like them. (An epitaph thrown in too.)
There once was a beautiful collie
The family initially named Polly.
When the pooch rolled over
They renamed it Rover
As Polly was awfully bally.
Of the wives of King Henry 'tis said
They all were disastrous in bed.
But the King wasn’t blue
For his regalness knew
In the end they would give him head.
Heard about the grave of Kate?
She gave her all on every date
So this was written on her slate,
“Dig me up – it’s not too late.”
The diggers who bought the whole town out
of shovels weren’t able to drown out
the barks of the poopers
who absent their scoopers
had caused a magnificent brown-out.
His fiancee, befuddled and frantic,
at midsea, on the steamer Titanic,
as they plummeted seaward
he shouted from leeward
“The sunset is so necromantic!”
A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
There was a young lad from St. Lou
who gave his dear sister a screw.
He said, with aplomb,
“You’re better than mom!”
She said, “That’s what dad told me, too.”
There once was a young man from Peru
Who went sailing in his canoe
While dreaming of Venus
He pounded his penus
and woke up with a hand full of goo