Disability, whatever that means

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I went back to school this week. New quarter, new classes, mostly new professors. I’m used to the drill by now- after the first class I linger and give my bit. “Professor, my name is Andy, and I just wanted to let you know that I’m hearing impaired. I’m not expecting this to be a problem, but I just wanted to let you know that I have preferential seating.”

Except that for the first time, I feel like I was lying when I said it.

I’m taking a course about women in Africa. The subject seems fascinating, the material is great, it’s interesting, and the prof is nice. [sub] you just know there’s going to be a “but”, don’t you?[/sub] But she has a soft voice. She mutters. And she has an African British accent, which I’ve not had much exposure to.

What it comes down to is that I’m having a horrible time understanding her despite my best efforts. It makes me feel handicapped, and I hate it.

It’s silly. I am handicapped. I have my hearing charts and years of speech therapy. But I haven’t had my hearing be a problem for such a long time that it’s incredibly frustrating. I survived 4 years of French and Spanish in high school with a minimum of problems. I make sure I’m in a place where I can best hear people, I occasionally yank my friends to my other side, people have learned that it’s a bit hard to get my attention… it’s not a big deal.

I love sound. I love music, wind, voices… sound fascinates me. Language and communication fascinate me. I’m a musician with near-perfect pitch. Sometimes people ask me what it’s like to be half deaf… it’s a silly question, really. I’ve never known any different. Lip reading is a crutch to the point where I don’t know how much I need it. I do what I have to and live my life.

Which brings me back to this whole feeling handicapped thing. This is the first time in a long time that it’s been thrown in my face like this, and I’m at a loss.

Next year I’m going to Lyon in the winter, and I keep on wondering if I’ll be able to handle Dartmouth’s very oral method of teaching French and handle language immersion.

Part of me thinks I should just drop the course. Part of me thinks I should suck it up because this will probably happen a lot more in my life.

So I’m frustrated and doubting myself. I’m going to have a long talk with the prof and my advisor. We’ll see. But I can’t help but feel like my body has let me down, and I don’t know how to deal with that.

Please, I don’t want sympathy. I just wanted to let this out.

2

If my Italian teacher can sashay in and tell us che dobbiamo gridare perche lei è vecchia e sorda, can you ask her to please speak a little louder?

3

And Hamish wants me to tell you that he does not now speak, nor has he ever spoken, Italian.

4

My dad is a disability activist and disabled veteran. So don’t think I don’t know the joys of cringing when the words “cripple” or “gimpy” are used in passing. I don’t KNOW how it feels to have a diability, but it sure as hell touches me in a very emotional way.

And you know what I’ve learned? People do what they can to adapt. Some morons might say that it would be impossible for someone with a hearing imparment to learn another language. Well, screw em. I know you love language, and I know you’ll do your damnest to learn. Will it be harder for you than the chick sitting next to you who has perfect hearing? Yea. But you’re smart as all hell, and if you want it, you will make it happen.

Regarding the program: talk to the faculty advisor. Explain your concerns. You’re not being whiney, or "poor ole’ half-deaf Andy"ish. It’s a valid concern, and one that I’m sure the program would be happy to address.

And as for the professor: if you can’t hear her, and you have at least 50% hearing, then the people with 100% hearing can only hear her 50% of the time. So chances are it’s not just a problem for you. There is a girl with a hearing imparement in my biopsych class, and the professor wears a mic that tranmits both to overhead speakers and to a transmitter she wears like an in-ear headphone. I’m sure you’ve dealt with adaptive learning, but I’d think at a school the size of yours, they could do SOMETHING to help.

Look on the bright side: you’re smart and funny as all hell. You can get hearing aids, but a moron can’t get a smart and funny aid. HAH! Andy wins!

ps: when are you gonna finish that chronicle of our Thelma and Louiseish trip, darlin’?

5

How about one of those voice magnifier thingies they advertise on TV? It’s kind of like a hearing aid for those who don’t need it and want to snoop on others. It’s a box with an ear plug. Use it in her class and then put it away.

6

andy,
If it feels any better to you, I’m having a similar issue now. I have to request a new chair at work because this one is killing my back, and whenever I have to face my back problems I feel like they won’t believe me or like I’m a wimp. I know it isn’t true (as do you, I’m sure), but it feels that way sometimes anyway.

For school, why not record her lectures? Then you can play them back at a volume you can hear later on. Would that help?

Zette

7

One time I took at music class in HS. It was okay for a couple weeks then the teacher said I couldn’t take it anymore. That sucked.

Of course when I went to UCSD they wouldn’t give me a notetaker. I had to arrange for one privately. That sucked.

8

There has to be a simple electonic solution to this. I wear electronic hearing protectors for shooting that would do the trick, though unfortunately look a little clumsy as they are earmuff style. Each earpiece has a microphone outside and a speaker inside. It compresses dynamic range and attenuates loud sounds. Hearing is protected from gunfire, not an issue in your case, but it has the benefit of amplifying soft sounds. I can hear sounds normally too soft to hear while normal speech sounds are pretty much the same. There are in the ear style electronic protectors but they are more expensive so not as popular.

9

Andy, I’m not even a little bit deaf, but I damn near failed a class in college partly because the professor mumbled, muttered, and stumbled through his lectures. It was a big crowded room, the first day I sat in the back, and this little man began to move his lips in the front of the room. Everyone in the back half of the room looked at each other, stunned. I raised my hand and said “Excuse me, we are having a hard time hearing you back here, could you speak louder?” And then he said something that I couldn’t hear. For the rest of the semester, everyone would jockey for positions in the front of the room. I was too unassertive at the time to take measures (going through the department to secure him a microphone, etc.). Holy introduction to macroeconomics, Batman!

You do what you gotta do to get what you need out of the class. And go to Lyon, and learn French, so you can parlez avec mattmcl!