I would like to clarify that I’m not a creeper. I’m against non-consensual sex. And any jokes about such.
If were to be a part of the animal kingdom, I would likely be a hormonal golden retriever. Not a black widow, dolphin, or any other any animal with a crazy mating strategy.
I started this thread because I was confused. As someone mentioned earlier, this place has a counter-culture vibe. Most counter-culture spaces discuss and joke about sex freely. Within reason, of course. Just found it unusual that dropping occasional sexual references were off limits.
Why did you have to add race to this? I can assure you that women will not escape the patriarchy by exclusively associating with non-white men.
Also, I don’t ever recall mentioning my race on here. I may or may not be a white man. It is kind of presumptuous to automatically assume that everyone you’re talking to on the internet is a white male by default.
If I’m talking to someone like my boss or dad. A fucking looooong time. My friends? Maybe an hour? In mixed company such as here? It depends. If I’m somewhere like reddit, probably about an hour there too. Here? Looks like I’ll have to go much longer than that in order to maintain my posting privileges and good graces with those on the board.
Modern porn is problematic mostly because of it’s customization. Yeah, I’ll start that thread some time soon. And it’s not just going to be about porn, it’s going to be about a LOT of things that are predatory.
I think this is a good idea because, in my opinion at least, our society has become extremely predatory. I’m deluged by phone calls, emails, texts, and snail mail that are all designed to steal everything I own, and the legion of criminals doing this have a worldwide platform from which to perform their evil deeds.
Oh yeah, search for the term “rape week” here. It will only go back to 2013, or so, but you find plenty of people referencing it and talking about the fallout including changing rules.
I really wish everyone who complains the pendulum has swung too far (or not far enough) would provide specific examples. Show us a post that received too much moderation, or one that wasn’t modded and should have been. Give a specific example of something you’d like to post (and in what thread) but feel you can’t. It’s easy to speak in generalities, but it doesn’t get us anywhere.
Here’s a specific example:
A “bon mot” about bestiality in a non-bestiality thread is obviously far out of bounds. I can exactly imagine the response: an unequivocal warning. I’m not sure about the response to a question about bestiality, but I suspect it would not be allowed, more for the “illegal acts” rule than some non-existent rule about discussing sex.
You continue to misinterpret what happened, despite multiple people trying to explain what the difference is. Lots of occasional sexual references here. But denigrating remarks are dinged.
There was a shift a few years ago when women and LGBTQ people were leaving, very pointedly because of the casual and unchecked misogyny and homophobia. House was cleaned. Now you are living in the result.
I have found that a large percentage of males cannot figure out what is denigrating and insulting and what isn’t. They have had carte blanche all their lives and when the subjects of their remarks finally speak up, they are astonished that anyone could take their harmless fun in such a way. When their actions are described from the hearer’s point of view, they are often still mystified, and want to argue and get their panties all twisted. This kind of discourse went on ad nauseam, it was enraging. Women left during these arguments, me being one of them, for a while. Too bad you weren’t here for it.
When people talk about “white males” in particular struggling with the issue, it’s not because it has anything to do with being white or male. There’s nothing genetic about it, for example. It has to do with the culture being such it was during the majority of their lives (as this is mainly a problem for older white males) that this feels like a sudden shift, and they’re trying to get used to it. (If they are even decent enough to try, that is.)
In contrast, non-whites and non-males have lived in world where they are keenly aware of language and attitudes being hurtful, because they were the ones being hurt. So when the subject comes up, it’s a no-brainer.
(I should also add “cishet” as well, as this also applies to people in the LGBTQ+ community.)
Disclaimer: I am an older cishet white male. I think I try and I don’t think I always get things right. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a very racially and ethnically diverse neighborhood, and my group of friends growing up might have looked like they were chosen by a panel of people to provide proper representation. With the major exception of not being around anyone LGBTQ+, at least not openly, until I became an adult, and that took some adjustment.
The point I’m making is that we need to be aware of these things. If you say things that are offensive and don’t mean to, you shouldn’t take a correction or request as an attack. Unless it’s obvious that you’re doing so on purpose, people aren’t going to get mad at you. (With the rare exception of people specifically looking for something to be offended about, but in my experience that is actually a lot rarer on these boards than some might think.)
All of this comes back to the most important rule of the SDMB, “Don’t be a jerk.”
At one time, racist jokes were not seen as a big deal. I certainly remember at least one from when I was a kid. Now I cringe, but it was funny then, before I knew better.
What’s being objected to here is not a sex joke per se, it’s a degrading, misogynist attitude being displayed in a “joke”.
Sex jokes frequently have a dehuminization or objectification of women or a degrading view of gays. That’s what we want to get rid of at the SDMB.
I don’t think that’s accurate. The word porn and the idea of porn is openly discussed in public. Terms like “cougar” and MILF are openly on TV shows, and not limited to or cable. Someone around here has a bumper sticker “I Love MILFs”. Heck, on separate incidents I’ve seen the word “fuck” on a T- shirt and a bumper sticker. Not even censored.
Now there may be a MAGA push against forms of sex talk, but I’m pretty sure the Fuck bumper sticker was a MAGA truck.
What has happened is the “Me Too” movement and the idea of reducing misogynistic jokes.
I think the MAGA movement is a reaction to white men being asked to maybe not be so racist and sexist. Those if you who missed those days, you’re in luck, they’re coming back
“I feel liberated,” one top banker told the paper. “We can say ‘retard’ and ‘pussy’ without the fear of getting cancelled.… It’s a new dawn.”