In general, I think the limits on discussion on the site are intended to prevent people from getting into trouble at work by unwittingly showing something on their screen that they shouldn’t be.
In terms of having medical and factual discussions of sexual topics, that’s almost certainly fine so be it in a thread that’s clearly about the subject and labeled “NSFW”. Likewise, discussions of technique or interests would probably be fair, again so long as it’s contained to a clearly marked thread that people can avoid while at work.
Misogyny, however, is misogyny. It isn’t “sex talk”. Treating people poorly is just being a jerk - whether you know it or not. And while, sure, some people do have a kink about being treated poorly, that’s also a different matter and can be discussed in an academic way without denigrating any particular individual nor non-assenting group of people.
Or, at least, that would be my understanding of the rules of the forum.
Maybe you should get out more.
That absolutely isn’t the case as far I understand it, and I’ll be very disappointed if a mod says rules about appropriate discussions exist to prevent work incidents.
The rules are to foster the kind of environment we want for the community.
This mod agrees with you. We’re not nannies. Posters must gauge for themselves what is NSFW at their own workplaces.
I think 1999 through maybe 2006 people used work computers more.
Most folks have that ability in their pocket now, and certainly have PCs at home.
So NSFW is maybe outdated.
I believe our real problem is a few good ol’ boys(and maybe some gals) with nasty attitudes and the need to hurt others from the safety behind their screens, still lurk here.
If we go the way of TwitterX, reddit and facebook, we’re doomed.
This, I hope very much this.
Maybe I’m getting out too much 
Given that one of our most famous posts and recurring jokes of all time was to reference the double-headed ice blue jelly dong and the focus of the website is on factual information that, otherwise, people can’t readily get - like whether you can pan fry sperm - I don’t think that there’s any confusion over the expected environment of the community. There’s a running thread about the Oglaf webcomic in Cafe Society.
To my knowledge, the site wasn’t founded by puritans and isn’t run by them. It’s largely populated by older counter-culture types, doctors (who’ve probably pulled all sorts of items from peoples’ rectums), and other folk who are simply interested in general knowledge - regardless of field.
The two-click rule has always been - to my knowledge - to protect people at work.
I don’t expect to see a thread of sex fiction, but technical discussions in the realm seem like they’d fit in with the history of the place.
p.s. I remember some local Obnoxious Morning Deejays who were discussing “How to tell if a man is an a$$hole” and one of them was, “He has a pet name for his genitalia, and finds a way to use it in every sentence.” The other DJ made a quip about doing this while meeting her parents for the first time.
Well, just signal in some way before I accidentally read har har har wink wink penis har har har pussy har har har jerkoff wink wink talk, okay? Because I frankly find it obnoxious and worth going out of my way to avoid.
Social mores change as the decades go by. Want a cite to prove it?
This is accurate (almost to the word) and pretty easily found. In the Archives of this very Message Board.
Now, if I were to post this into a thread in 2025, I’d likely get Modded. Maybe even banned for a while. However, Cecil Adams - the founder of The Straight Dope column in the Chicago Reader and founder also of SDMB, was sent this question into The Straight Dope column back in the day. Below is the question and then the reply written by Cecil Adams and published. On paper. Like they used to.
Reader: " Why can’t my roommate be having sex with his cat? "
Cecil Adams: " Because you can’t park a Cadillac in a closet."
I don’t have the first few Straight Dope paperback books that were collections (verbatim) of The Reader columns. But it’s in there. The question’s wording is imprecise; I cannot find the exact quote. Unca Cecil’s reply? I will never forget it.
Were I to post a humorous bon mot into a thread now referring to bestiality, I cannot even imagine what the response would be. And yet, a newspaper printed and given away for free published that column. And tons of others.
Not to mention the illuminating illustrations of the beloved Slug Signorino. Some but not all of his illustrations would, by today’s rather overreactive judgey calipers of all things moral and amoral, wind Slug in the Banned Prison, forever to languish for mistaking wit and humor and pornography.
Things change. I’m a 99’er and have been on the AOL Boards since before then. As a thoughtful mirror of society I can find no better place to invest time.
But we cannot ignore the truths. Times change. Mores change. One must trim and prune accordingly in one’s verbiage and illustrations.
I think that what some are calling as over judgey, others might call giving a shit what people other than white men think. Remember Rape Weeks around here? The reason we have the rules we have now are because of the excesses of the past.
You just named three services that draw several orders of magnitude more posters. Weird definition of “doomed”.
I realize this.
But we cannot go that way. It’s too small.
I like to think we’re better.
And better friends than to purposefully hurt others on the board. For what? Shits and giggles?
To show how clever you are?
To sneak brag about your awesome sexlife?
I like a decent dirty joke just like the next person. Somethings in life, incuding some really nasty misogynistic statements are just not right. And quite triggering to a bunch of the world.
It’s not like the board is all people holding hands and singing kumbayas: there’s a whole forum where posters are specifically allowed to hurt others, and the majority want that to continue. I think society has just become more prudish over the last couple of decades, so sex jokes are now seen as a big deal when they weren’t before.
One person’s uptight, prudish, and judgmental is another person’s sigh of relief and feeling of safety at last. Sensitivity to the experience of others is something that white males aren’t famously good at. Maybe they can practice?
One person’s hilarious bon mot is another person’s horrifying image of torture. Who gets to choose?
“Lighten up, it’s just a joke” is what every denigrated, bullied, and condescended-to person has heard all their life.
I haven’t found white males to be significantly worse at this than any other demographic, and I don’t think it’s fair to single them out for blame.
And one person’s ‘safe space’ is the opposite for another person; a place where they can never relax or feel comfortable because any minor error in tone or phrasing will be harshly judged. You can’t please everyone, and finding certain things upsetting should not be a trump card that overrides everyone else’s needs and enjoyment in a shared space. I think we all recognise this is true when the ‘trigger’ is sufficiently obscure, and know that compromise is necessary.
I don’t remember ‘rape weeks’ and that’s probably for the best(!), but when I read older threads they do have a more relaxed and fun vibe that seems to have gone missing somewhere along the way. Don’t know how much this particular change in the rules contributed to it, though.
That is risque and in poor taste and has no value as a topic of debate.
That sounds like a serious topic worthy of debate because changing attitudes affect change and development of societies.
I think you are probably wrong about that. Even demonstrably wrong.
There is a park near my home that is big enough that you can walk your dog off leash if you use some common sense and some courtesy. The rules a lot of us followed were:
- Go when it is not busy (don’t expect to show up during little league tournaments and let your dog off);
- Keep near your dog;
- Have your leash in case you need to put him on; and
- Walk your dog off leash in an empty area where you’re not bothering anyone else.
Of course some inconsiderate prick shows up to jog around the park with his dog, but his dog is half a mile away from him, crapping everywhere and chased a kid in the playground. Now there are signs about leashing your dog everywhere and cops have to patrol the park.
Our current state of affairs is like that, people couldn’t be considerate and employ empathy and now we have more rules.