I generally don’t post to just “me, too” on this board, but this is one subject my older son had to deal with in school, here in Washington State, which resulted in my moving him to another classroom midyear.
He was in third grade, just having turned 8. He’s a shy, quiet, polite child, well behaved, and tall for his age. Always a head taller than the oldest kids in his class, and always treated like a miniature adult, which he clearly wasn’t. Two weeks into the schoolyear, a new student was introduced into his classroom. This child was small, sickly(had many coughing episodes and frequent school absences), and suffered from what the Principal euphemistically called “emotional problems.” Due to his privacy, other parents were not allowed further information with which to help our kids deal with and handle the resulting class disruptions. And do I mean disruptions. My son’s birthday in September meant I brought treats for the class to share the last week of the month. In the hour I was in the class, just after the last recess of the day, this child threw his treat across the room, screeched almost endlessly, climbed onto his desk and then under it, flailed at the teacher, and generally was incapable of calming himself or allowing the teacher and her aide to calm him. By the time I was picking up and cleaning the mess, preparing to go home, I was shaking from the stress of the episode. I looked around the classroom and noticed the effect on the kids: no one looked at one another, all were subdued, more than one looked close to tears, and my son wouldn’t stray from my side.
Later that night I talked to my son about this boy and his behavior in class. It seems that wasn’t at all unusual behavior for him, and that if he made it through the day without one of these ‘episodes’, it was a very good day. I tried talking to the teacher, then the school counselor, and finally the Principal, all to no avail. I wasn’t allowed any personal information about this child, I was simply to ‘trust’ the school that the situation was under control and all the children were safe in the classroom. Needless to say, I gave it until the Thanksgiving break, or nearly 6 weeks, and when my son continued to come home regularly distressed, and dreaded school in the morning(this from the kid who absolutely adored his teacher, no less), then I insisted he be moved to another classroom.
I don’t to this day know what problems that little boy had to deal with. I do know without adequate involvement and support from the other parents, the onus was improperly placed on 8 year olds to learn to deal with a situation the grownups around them had substantial difficulty dealing with. Wrong.
I’m pleased to say that this was the only situation of this kind I ever had to deal with. Other children with physical and/or mental difficulties were mainstreamed in a much smoother process with ease and care shown for all the kids involved.