DNC is for smart people only.

The BBQ Pit
61

New Isk, I am inspired by your quixotic ardour to pen a new poem, with a little help from my friend Al.

*The Charge of the Dumb Brigade

Half a sentence, half a sentence
Half a sentence onward
All in the valley of Dope
Rode the stupid guy:
`Forward the Dumb Brigade!
Charge for the Dems!’ he said
Into the valley of Dope
Rode the stupid guy

‘Forward the Dumb Brigade!’
Was there a man dismay’d?
Not tho’ the poster knew
His point had blunder’d:
His not to make coherent reply,
His not to reason why,
His but to moan & sigh,
Into the valley of Dope
Rode the stupid guy.

Mock’ry to right of him,
Mock’ry to left of him,
Mock’ry in front of him
Volley’d & thunder’d;
Storm’d at with taunt & yell,
Boldly he rode & well,
Into the jaws of Dope,
Into laughs he couldn’t quell
Rode the stupid guy.*

62

This one’s almost too easy:
The stupid, and the stupid, and the stupid,
Creep in their petty pace from bad to worse,
To the last syllable of O’Reilly glurge;
And all their blitherings have led the fools
The way to inane death. Out, out, brainfarters!
Isk’s but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
Then, please! is heard no more: his is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

63

To steal a riff from Jeff Foxworthy…

If you think that criticism of the President is unpatriotic and unAmerican…Ya might be stupid.

If you think that tax cuts and growing deficits are good for the economy…Ya might be stupid.

If you think that it is good to amend the constitution to enshrine bigotry and discrimination for what is basically a religious rite…Ya might be stupid.

If you think that the worlds problems can be solved with a few well-placed smart bombs… Ya might be stupid.

You get my drift.

64

Look, how difficult can it be? Even rjung almost got it.

No, it’s not rising threat from the group-thinking Left or Right. The totalitarian threat is rising from both Left and Right, (all together now) si-mul-ta-ne-ous-ly. You and the Dittoheads are mirror images of each other.

65

By way of contrast, what we have here is informed agreement.

66

Have you considered the fact that if you are in fact stupid, your ability to discern other people’s motivations and opinions is likely to be somewhat questionable?

67

*I wondered slowly as a clod

I wondered slowly as a clod:
why do they call us freaks and dills?
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of brazen Democrats;
And on the stage, angry emcees,
Railing and screaming! Oh, now please

do not the 'Publicans malign!
Pubs are stupid, they always say.
They hate me, those lefty swine:
it’s black and white, no shades of gray,
for them. Give no heed to their rants,
they’re hypocrites in every stance.*

New Isk, the breaking of words into syllables is a stupid thing to do, and the fact that you do it incorrectly makes it worse. For example, it’s “sim-ul-tan-e-ous-ly”, or “si-mul-tan-e-ous-ly”, depending on your accent.

68

Then there’s a quote often attributed to Adali E. Stevenson, who, after an aide gushed to him that every thinking person in America would vote for him said, “That’s not good enough, we still need to get a majority.”

69

I’ve posted this link here before. It seems… appropriate to post it again.

Unskilled and Unaware of It

70

They didn’t even get past the intro without using the word “metacognitive”. This is not the way of my people.

71

I’m not sure I get your joke, but “metacognitive” is more than psychiatric mumbo jumbo. I do software training, and there’s definitely something to people who approach it knowing how to learn and solve problems and people who don’t.

72

But that’s a whole different paradigm.

73

More accurately, what we have here is failure to communicate (with a stupid person).

74

Not really, but never mind. I guess if you don’t know what it means, it’s rubbish.

75

New Iskander: stupidity in action.

76

Why yes, indeed you are. See, I’ve come to notice that when Dumbya burps, you fart.

Thus I am tempted to conclude that the lack of oxygen to your brain might have something to do with it. Or not. Maybe you’re just a natural.

:::shrug:::

77

(The crowd is raging: “Stu-pid, Stu-pid, Stu-pid, …” This goes on for days. Slowly, the commotion subsides and pregnant silence ensues.)

My Poor Fucking Dears, I confess!

I was Vain and I was Weak. And I was deceiving myself.

I was deceiving myself that I would find understanding. I said to myself, “Perhaps they would understand me. And only if they not, only then at least I will enjoy the spectacle.” I was wrong.

Yes, I was Vain.

When I was watching you to run around barking the “Stupid” word that I tossed to you, like a bunch of mangy dogs with an old bone thrown to them, my Heart was full of an Evil glee and my Soul wandered.

The Almighty must have seen that and cast Gloom upon my Soul. My Prize became my Curse.

Then I became Weak. I was overwhelmed by the thousand stings of the “Stupid” word and I pitied myself.

The Almighty must have seen that and sent me Strength.

At the deepest Pit of Despair, I asked Myself, “If I could change the Past, would I rather not start this Thread?” And through the hellish din of thousand little angry voices the answer came through Loud and Clear, “Hell, No! I would start this Thread again a thousand times”.

Many of you called my Quest Quixotic. That became a source of Great Ispiration to me. Let me tell you Something: it feels So Good to be Quixotic. I am feelin Great!

How are you feeling?

So, Fuck you All, and God bless SDMB!

78

“Quixotic”? Many of us said that? Did anybody say that? There was a quite a variety of adjectives applied, but I don’t see “quixotic”.

Isn’t this the part where you go out on the balcony and sing Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina?

79

Never be Afraid to Share Your Dreams with the World, Because there’s Nothing the World Loves More Than the Taste of Really Sweet Dreams.

Enjoy,
Steven

80

New Iskander, I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t meet the minimum intelligence requirements to join the Democratic Party, but I do hope that doesn’t discourage you from voting for Kerry!

And elucidator, lambchops is the one who dropped “quixotic” on us…I guess that counts as many…

I wonder if the “many” who called the OP stupid was another “many” comprised of one…