I suppose it would make a difference whether the income was shared, or the finances were separate, wouldn’t it?
My wife has a B.A. in her chosen field, spent her 35-year working career in two (consecutive) white-collar jobs in large corporations. Benefits galore, including pension and lifetime health care in retirement.
I have a High School diploma, was a self-employed blue collar Technical Professional for all of my 32-year career. No benefits.
No surprise that she provided 65-70% of our income over our 44 years together, and it couldn’t possibly bother me less.
I briefly made more than my husband. $250 a year more, to be exact. We were rolling in the dough, as you can imagine.
Now, he’d be very happy if I made more money than him, in theory. In reality, it’d bug the shit out of him. He’s a bit competitive.
I’m not bothered by my wife making more than me.
She, however, would be bothered if I wasn’t working.
^ this.
Is she paying for shit?
Earn on, babe.
I wouldn’t care in the least.
I imagine that the guys who are bothered by this (or would be bothered) aren’t racing to announce themselves. Nor are the women who expect their spouses to make more than they do.
It is a point of pride to me and, I assume, many other men to be the breadwinner. I would never be offended that she made more than me, In fact, that would be great. I would be a little disappointed in myself for not doing better.
I think a far more informative question would be, do women respect men who make less than them? Maybe I am old but I have heard too many women lament the fact that a guy doesn’t have a job or a good enough job or that he drives a cheap car or that he can’t pay for a date. I’ve can’t remember ever hearing a man mention the finances of a woman as either a positive or negative quaility. Who are these men who don’t like more money?
I wouldn’t care, hopefully the wife wouldn’t either. The main thing would be if we were both happy at work and home, and the bills are being paid. The rest is gravy.
There is a big difference between making less because you are in a less lucrative field or are starting a new career or something, and making less because you are lazy and unmotivated. I don’t expect my mate to pay for everything, but I certainly expect him to be doing something constructive and productive with his time that has some plan for growth. I am an ambitious person, and it would be a major disconnect to be with someone without much drive.
Men may see a low income woman and think “Hey, I bet she’ll make a good housewife.” And if there are kids, that often works out to a pretty good deal-- it’s not much more expensive than having two incomes, and having the house clean and dinner on the table every day rocks. But women look at low income men and understand they are probably going to be stuck working AND doing all of the chores, which is the worst of both world.
Low income women are also likely to be low-income because they are in a pink college field that just doesn’t pay much, like education or administrative work. But low-income men are more likely to be low-income because of some negative trait.
If anything, I think women care more than men do about who makes more.
It’s counterintuitive and flies in the face of feminist dogma, but even women with MBAs and/or high paying jobs of their own often want husbands who earn more than they do.
I would rather have my husband be the primary earner because I would like to stay home with the kid(s) when we have them, or at least cut back to part-time. It hasn’t worked out that way, but that’s the way it goes.
I’d love it, but I’d probably have to do more housework!
Then again, if my wife were earning more than I do, we could pay someone to do that. So, I’m back to “I’d love it!”
Obviously not all men 'cause my wife makes conSIDerably more than I do but given our relative levels of education I’m okay with that. ('Course, the fact that we can afford to live in a house in the Puget Sound region largely because of the $$$ she makes probably has something to do with that - :))
doesn’t bother me a bit
Where did I say that? I was quoting what the OP’s co-workers were saying about their wives.
Do try to pay attention.
OTOH, a lot of people would perceive going into a “pink college field that just doesn’t pay much, like education or administrative work” as evidence of a “negative trait” if a man did it but would be OK with a woman doing it.
Men are expected to make money. If they don’t, then they’re failures to a degree, and unless they can compensate with success elsewhere they are losers. With women, that’s not the case. If they make big bucks then that’s great, you go girl, but if they adopt an easier field, then that’s fine too.
[Of course, society has other expectations of women that it doesn’t have of men. But as for money specifically, that’s extra credit for women but required for men.]
My wife’s a bit old-fashioned in some ways, and I think she’d be uncomfortable if she earned more than me. Like I wouldn’t be “pulling my weight” or something.
I make about 15% more then my husband, or ~35% if you count my bonus. He doesn’t have an issue with it at all, in fact, I think he likes it. He has inferred that his close guy buddies who know that I make more are a bit jealous, and he occasionally refers to me as his ‘sugar mama’. One day, if my career pans out like I want it to, he won’t have to work if he doesn’t want to. He can pursue passions or further education if he wants (thought he really has a great job - firefighter - and would not give it up if we stay in Canada). He talks about buying a boat and being a dive instructor one day (not a huge money maker usually).
That said, our money is all pooled, and we don’t really talk about ‘my’ money or ‘his’ money. It’s all one account.