In considerig marrying (or at least cohabiting and romantically exclusive) a person who is otherwise suitable, how much more wealth could you have than a potential partner before you’d become uncomfortable?
Contrariwise, how much LESS wealth would make you uncomfortable?
Are these amounts different for simply dating someone? Why or why not?
In answering, kindly give your gender, sexual orientation, and approximate age (within the decade is fine). Any more details are gravy.
I don’t think I’d care about wealth. I would care if the person was not working up to their potential in pursuit of their passion. More generally, I would care if the person didn’t work and contribute to the relationship. I’m not much for deadbeats or the inert, regardless of income.
As long as each of us earns enough to take care of ourselves if the other were to pass away or something that is all that matters to me. If one of us is earning a bajillion dollars I’d just consider that a bonus. I am 26, FWIW.
It would probably weird me out to date a homeless woman, to be honest. It would similarly weird me out to date a fantastically wealthy person, although I suppose I could get used to that.
'Cept that I’m married, natch.
Straight male mid-thirties.
Daniel
We’ve got a ginormous income difference. It makes me pretty uncomfortable and I very seriously questioned dating him because of the difference. I’m certain that if the earners were reversed we wouldn’t be in the relationship together.
29, f.
When we got married, my wife made a lot more than I did.
I started to catch up. Then I made a lot more than she did.
Then I got laid off and now she makes a lot more than I do.
So what?
In my experience, this doesn’t tend to matter that much for the couple, but it can produce unintended friction (due to different life experiences and expectations) with regards to the various in-laws. That is, the in-laws themselves may get along fine, but that the lower-income-background member of the couple may be more than usually sensitive to the kinds of in-laws issues and misunderstandings all couples face.
Doesn’t matter much to me, since I’ve been steady with my wife since we were both basically penniless students. I’m now earning a good salary (I’m a lawyer) and she doesn’t work outside the home since she lost her job in the financial sector… I suppose it would be a concern if I was dating someone for the first time and I thought she was just interested in me for the money (or vice versa, if roles were reversed).
Male, 41, Straight.
If a gal makes less than half of what I do, she’s probably not educated enough for my tastes. If a gal makes more than twice what I do, she’s probably too classy for my tastes.
Straight male, age 47.
I would not care about wealth at all, but instead would want someone who was at least as intelligent as I am.
Straight male, 43.
I couldn’t care less. And, from the other side, if the potential SO is concerned about how much I make or own, it probably would be a deal-breaker. I’ve no problem with other considerations that are taken into account (look, smarts, whatever) but I can’t begin to understand how one could be more or less attracted to someone on the basis of his/her income or wealth. So, if money is a concern, it’s an evidence for me that there’s not much of an attraction to begin with.
And money or wealth isn’t an indication of anything else besides money and wealth. Someone making twice less than I do isn’t necessarily dumb, and if she is, I assume I would notice without looking at her bank return. And someone making twice as much isn’t necessarily too classy for me, and if it were the case, I suppose I would notice too.
On the other hand, thinking about another current thread, I’ve no problem with the concept of prenups . That’s not about now, but about the time when you won’t be attracted anymore, and it seems wise to plan for this eventuality.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
And I’m a 29 y/p dude.
This, except I’m 35. My husband makes less than I do (recently the gap has closed a bit because he finally got a better job) but he was able to support himself all while I knew him. That’s what’s important to me.
Male, 49. Recently married to a woman who makes three times as much money as I.
No problems. She knows her income wasn’t a factor in our relationship.
Bonus, sort of: Now I get to prove it. She got laid off last week.
Male, 68 but nearly 69.
Who the hell cares and why?
We will both be okay when my Darling Marcie finally gets her retirement income straightened out by our incompetent(?), overworked(?), uncaring(?) government—she retired four months ago and is STILL not receiving her full retirement pay----2-4 weeks, she has been told time after time.
Gay male 33. If some fantastically wealthy person wants to date me, I wouldn’t say no just for that reason. If you have someone in mind, feel free to pass along my email address to them. 
Not something I’m concerned about. Straight, female, 44: work outside the home, married, hubby is a stay-at-home dad. No income. Just the joy of being able to watch our kids grow up. Money has never been a deciding factor.
I only care if the dude has enough money to live how he wants to live and not be a mooch. I’ve dated several mooches and one fairly rich dude and they were all jackasses in the end 
I just don’t want to be the one paying for dinner all the time. That gets real old real fast!
I’m a 29yo female.
My brother makes a lot less than his wife and this just boggles my dad to no end. He doesn’t think my SIL should put up with it. But my bro is a great guy, does everything around the house and she is head-over-heels in love with him. The money in their relationship clearly is not a factor.
The reason people the hell care is because wealth (and education) often at the core of a lot of socioeconomic class tensions. “Well who cares” you say? Well, if I’m an investment banker or lawyer earning $300,000 a year and you are a schoolteacher earning $40,000 and you are always going on and on about those crooked rich fat cats on Wall Street, it’s going to make me uncomfortible. I’ve seen some families fuck each other over squabbling over a $15,000 inheretance. I understand there are some poor people out there, but it’s a little distasteful watching a family tear itself apart over what to me is a bad downturn in the market.
As long as the income disparity is in the mans favor, people don’t seem to care. Women, OTOH, always seem to need a guy to be at least as successful as they are. I’m always reading these articles about high powered women CEOs or lawyers or bankers unable to find a man at least their level. Men don’t seem to have that problem. If she’s hot and reasonably articulate and educated, they don’t seem to care if she’s a waitress or a partner in a law firm.
36 yr old straight male, MBA management consultant, six figure earner dating a girl of similar economic stature and education,
Because it creates a base level question as to motivation and depending on the personalities of the parties involved, a potential for a gigantic power imbalance. Even when both parties are educated similarly and from the same socioeconomic background.
As an example-one of my mom’s clients is a partner at a hedge fund. His wife is a prof at Harvard. I mean, that’s nice and all, she’s hardly sitting around leeching off of him and they’re both in the same socioeconomic class…but hedgie’s BASE salary is just over a million a year. This doesn’t include whatever he gets as a bonus. You don’t see why either/one of them might care?