Do home wakes exist in other countries?

Factual Questions
1

When my father passed away in 2006 we had a wake for him. His body was laid out in the house and we mourned him for a few nights before he was buried. This mourning involved some prayer, lots of quartercut sandwiches and cups of tea and streams of whiskey. I’d been to several wakes before although they seem to be not so common in the city of Dublin as they would be in rural areas. In Dublin now the normal procedure would involve a funeral home.

Do home wakes (still) exist in other parts of the world?

People from an Irish background in England that attended Dad’s wake said it was the first wake they had even been to.

2

We have wakes in the U.S., but it’s usually just an after-funeral gathering in honor of the deceased. As such, the emphasis is usually on celebrating the person’s life, rather than mourning his death, so they are not necessarily solemn occasions.

But I’ve never heard of actually having the body at one.

3

I have never seen one in the U.S. but it is a big country and somebody has probably had someone somewhere. Are wakes like you often read about in books with people being festive and maybe playing cute stunts with the body? If so, I have definitely never heard of that in the U.S. and I am sure there are no social mores that would ever tolerate such a thing.

4

Everyone was generally festive, hundreds of people turned up to pay their respects over the days and nights. No stunts are played with the body (?) It sits there in the coffin in a room of the house. Cigarettes are laid out on plates and drinks/food etc are provided for everyone. We had to get a catering water boiler to deal with the gallons and gallons of tea that people were drinking. My girlfriend (from Ohio) mentioned that she didn’t think one would be allowed to have a dead body in the home in her area for health and safety reasons.

5

What you’re describing is not a wake*. I’ve always thought wakes were much more common among Catholics. I think I’ve been to at least one that was in someone’s home, but usually they’ve been in a small chapel at a funeral parlor. Almost always the night or two before the funeral. I have often heard someone say that they can’t take time off of work for the funeral, but they’re going to the wake.

*Didn’t mean to come off snippy. What I should have said is that what you’re describing isn’t what I recognize as a wake.

6

I think the reason that people don’t have in-home wakes in the US anymore is that houses have gotten smaller over the years (although now they’re getting bigger). And that’s one of the reasons for the existence of the funeral home industry. Here is part of the Wikipedia entry on parlours, a room that people used to have in their homes partly for this sort of purpose (bolding added):

7

I suppose I’ve had pre-funeral wakes, the only thing being the body isn’t there. And I’m talking about ones in Ireland. It’s just the ‘weddings and funerals’ situation, in that it’s often a rare occasion for many family members get together at once.

Doing it in someone’s house, with the body still there, seems to me to be a matter of expedience. If somebody’s able to stretch to a hotel bill for everyone, quite possibly to be paid for by the estate of the deceased, then it’s a much better option, and you can also be sure the body won’t be lying there, for so many reasons!

8

I’ve never been to one in a house. Usually they’re in funeral homes, and people call them “viewings,” at least where I’m from (D.C. area). Don’t ask me why. I grew up calling it a wake and I still do. Viewing just sounds… vulgar, to me.

9

It isn’t culturally related at all but the main thing we have that is truly festive is a New Orleans Jazz Funeral and Parade. We have plenty of viewings well before the funeral but that are usually somber to devastating affairs.

10

Wakes are held in Japan too.

11

No. Not here in Canada. God, even laying plates of cigarettes out would be in bad taste. :eek:

12

That varies from state to state.

When my grandmother died she definitely did not want to be embalmed. Unfortunately, in Minnesota, once the body is turned over to the funeral home they’re required by law to embalm the body if there’s going to be a public viewing (and in my part of the country the pre-funeral viewing is called a wake). Food is involved in the wake but it’s only for family. There is often a lunch post-funeral service and pre-planting for those who showed up for the service which can range from salads and/or sandwiches to more elaborate stuff.

On the flip side, also in Minnesota, it’s possible for the family to perform a home-based funeral, where everything from washing the body to the planting is done by non-professionals. In that case, the body does not have to be embalmed.

Just out of curiosity, was your father embalmed while he was laid out in the house?

13

When my dad was a kid (in rural Georgia) not only did you have the corpse in the living room, you had to sit up with it that night. (There is a hilarious Ray Stevens song about this practice - the essential details are accurate.) Dad says you’d get some chairs and fans from the funeral home. It’s not like houses were so big - there were eight kids in his. It’s just what you did.

ETA - for reference, my dad was born in 1931. It’s my understanding that, like many similar practices, this one died out in the cities first and gradually disappeared from rural America.

14

I know that you go to an Amish home for an Amish Funeral, at least in southeast Ohio (it differs by region). Not sure if it’s the same as a traditional Irish Wake, as I’ve never been to either. My grandparents go to them all the time, but have never been to an Irish Wake, for comparison.

15

It’s almost died out in the US, but as people become interested in ways to hold a funeral/bury a loved one other than doing whatever the funeral home tells you to do, a few people are starting to do it again and bring it back. I’ve heard of it being done–for example you might lay the deceased out in his own bed, with Chux and cooling packs underneath. But you really have to be pretty motivated and knowledgable, because otherwise the funeral industry machine will just take over and sweep you along with it.

I’d prefer something like that myself but I don’t plan on dying anytime soon.

16

I recall going to a home wake of a great-uncle in the sixties. It was in the rural Appalachian mountains (where the remnants of Scots-Irish culture still exist) and he was laid out in the “front room”, his casket on two wooden benches. IIRC, a couple of people sat up with the corpse both nights. Since I was just a kid, I wasn’t permitted to do that, so I’m not really sure what they did all night.

During the days and evenings before the funeral and immediately after, the friends, neighbors and church folks brought food and drink and assisted the family in any way that they could (watching children, cleaning, doing the farm chores, etc).

During the evenings when folks came to visit, music was played, there were bible readings and I’m sure that liquor was available in one of the sheds (in that culture, alcohol was usually more of a man thing).

I found out a few years ago when I was in sales, that most funeral establishments in this area (Middle Tennessee, USA) still have a room set aside for the practice of “setting up with the dead”, so I’m guessing that there are still folks who do it.

17

We had a “home wake” as described by the OP for my Maori* Grandmother. She was laid out in an open coffin in a bedroom and we all shuffled through to pay our respects, meanwhile there was a BBQ and drinks etc outside.

*I don’t know if this is a Maori tradition or not, she was Maori but I’m effectively not.

18

The Maori wake is generaly known as a Tangi. From what I know it is usually about 5 days and the body is present the whole time. The whole whanau (family-extended family) all take time to spend with the body. Everyone sleeps and eats at the marae (meeting place) over this period.

19

When my husband’s Japanese grandmother died, she was brought back from the hospital and laid out in a futon with the head facing north in the best part of the living room in front of the family altar.

We were living in Honshu at the time, so we had to fly back at very short notice. She died at about midnight and was home by 8am. We arrived at about mid afternoon.

She was laid out in the futon, in one of her own simple cotton kimono, with a silk cloth over her face. We went up and knelt by her, took the cloth off and paid our respects. We had arrived in jeans and t-shirts but being the wife of the eldest son I was sent upstairs to change into a black kimono.

All that afternoon and evening, relatives were arriving from all over Japan, and that night the Buddhist priest came to chant in front of the altar.

As the night wore on it went from being sad and formal to being a bit of a drunken party. My husband and I had just got married three months before, so our wedding photos were taken out, and Granny was admired, and tales were told and laughed over. The kids got bored and started running around the house, jumping over her legs.

At about midnight I got fed up with being in the kimono and went upstairs to change. Just as I was completely naked between kimono and pyjamas, there was a MASSIVE earthquake! I jumped into clothes as fast as possible and ran downstairs. All the young people had rushed outside, as had my husband’s dad, as he wanted to check the foundations of the house. The old ladies all sat there, cackling about it being an omen, and MIL had rushed over to the body and was attempting to hold it still as it rocked. It felt like I was in some sort of B horror movie…

The next morning the family washed the body and dressed her in the white death kimono, and the funeral company came to take her to the crematorium.

The whole funeral takes place over three days, from immediately after death, and then there are ceremonies at one day, seven days, 49 days, a year, three years, seven years… It goes on and on!

20

I went to a home wake about a year ago in New York state, so it’s legal here. Many people were commenting that it was either their first home wake … or, if they were older, commenting that they hadn’t been to a home wake in years. It involved a lot of food, drink, and many visitors coming to pay respects.

My mother mentioned that her father was waked at home, this would be about 1960, and then it was because they couldn’t afford a funeral parlor.