Do home wakes exist in other countries?

[calm_kiwi]

Absolutely! I know I freaked seeing a body at 25.

But for the most part it’s all about cultural context.

[lobotomyboy63]

@clairobscur

Nope. Since the word used in french is identical, I assume it’s for the same reason. People used to stay awake and pray besides the body all night(s) long. Sometimes they would take turns. I even read that in some areas, there were women paid to do that.
Even though this practice could theorically have allowed to notice a sign of life in the supposedly deceased person, I don’t think it ever was its purpose. Especially since such a possibility would have been extremely unlikely (even moreso in “premedical technology times”, and when several people would have handled the corpse, and when there was continuously people coming to see him/her, bless the body, pray, etc… anyway). It’s rather a religious concern and a way to show respect for the deceased person. You don’t let him/her “alone”.

I started at: Wake (ceremony) - Wikipedia and followed an external link to: http://www.wyfda.org/basics_2.html

*Wakes held today come from ancient customs of keeping watch over the deceased hoping that life would return. *

Remember Poe’s “The Premature Burial?” Published in 1844, I guess some people did think it was worth worrying about.

“Dead ringer” and “graveyard shift” are some of the expressions that some people claim arose from the practice of tying a string from the “corpse” to a bell above ground to make sure they really were. Even if not factual, the folklore is there.

Have People Been Buried Alive?

True, people have been buried alive.

Is a Deceased Pope Tapped with a Silver Hammer to Verify He's Dead?

Whacking the presumed-dead pope on the head with a silver hammer till 1960…

[An_Gadai]

@TheLoadedDog

I’ve never been to an Irish-style one, although my favourite teacher in primary school was a spry, witty Irishman of near retiring age (I was in his last class), and he used to tell us stories of bodies being tied down to prevent rigor mortis from making them curl up, and some drunkard cutting the ropes to make the departed suddenly sit up in bed. Is this what was meant by “playing stunts with the body”? It sounded hilarious to me as a ten year old and still does as a 38 year-old.

Funnily enough my dad used to recount similar tales. If the deceased had died in a sitting position and wasn’t got in time they were tied down into the coffin and sometimes popped out supposedly. Then again his mother claimed to have heard a banshee at another wake.

[Siam_Sam]

@TheLoadedDog

-Funeral (takes three days of prayer [three FULL days] before actual cremation

The most extreme case I’ve encountered was my mother-in-law’s funeral. 100 days! Not 100 days straight, though. A few days at the start, then once a week for a few months, then a few days at the end. I found this a bit extreme, as her coffin was kept stored in an un-air-conditioned building on the temple grounds, and it was the hottest time of the year. Each week, they’d trot the coffin out (keeping it closed, thankfully). I often got odd looks from people when I told them: “Well, bye, I’m off to my mother-in-law’s funeral.” They’d say: “What? Wasn’t that a couple of months ago?” “Yes, and it’s not over yet.” I was told this was some sort of Chinese practice, but my father-in-law was Chinese, too, and his was only a week or 10 days. I’ve never quite figured my mother-in-law’s funeral out.

[Zsofia]

@An Gadaí

Funnily enough my dad used to recount similar tales. If the deceased had died in a sitting position and wasn’t got in time they were tied down into the coffin and sometimes popped out supposedly. Then again his mother claimed to have heard a banshee at another wake.

Well, I ain’t sittin up with the dead no more, I don’t know about you
I ain’t sittin up with the dead no more, no matter what you say or do
They say the dead can’t hurt you 'cause they already left
But what they left can sure make you hurt yourself
And I ain’t sittin up with the dead no more since the dead started sittin up too

[TheLoadedDog]

@Siam Sam

I was told this was some sort of Chinese practice, but my father-in-law was Chinese, too, and his was only a week or 10 days. I’ve never quite figured my mother-in-law’s funeral out.

In my biased way, I’d say the Chinese have a lot to answer for…

My ex’s father was… hang on, lemme get this right… Sino-Vietnamese. His first wife (mother of the clan) was Vietnamese. His second wife after divorcing the first was Chinese. We ended up having to double up on funereal rituals at the Vietnamese temple and the Chinese one down the street, and keeping quiet about each to the other.

Ze head, she hurts.

[Richard_Pearse]

@TheLoadedDog

…he used to tell us stories of bodies being tied down to prevent rigor mortis from making them curl up, and some drunkard cutting the ropes to make the departed suddenly sit up in bed. Is this what was meant by “playing stunts with the body”? It sounded hilarious to me as a ten year old and still does as a 38 year-old.

I thought you were a lot older… for some reason ;).

@Calm Kiwi

Absolutely! I know I freaked seeing a body at 25.

But for the most part it’s all about cultural context.

Definitely. I’d seen my Nana lying lifeless in the tangi. I can’t remember how old I was but I was essentially unphased. I might have been 15 +/- 2 years. I think I can be a bit cold in those circumstances though, coping mechanism perhaps. But it was certainly strange, I’d never seen a dead body before, and it had a big impact on me.

[Siam_Sam]

Oops! Never mind.

[Sapo]

Puerto Rico, here. Wakes (with the body present, before the burial, of course) at home are still fairly common around here. Funeral homes are becoming more and more common, but home wakes are still done. Both my FIL and MIL insist on a home wake. We are all hoping they die together, so we can do it in a funeral parlor.

Some guy just got his 15 minutes of fame post mortem a couple months ago by asking to be posed standing for his home wake. The images were beyond silly, with the guy standing in a corner, with eyeglasses and dude-clothes. The fridge in view behind him and his head hanging with twine from a nail in the wall.

- YouTube

Enjoy.

[lynxie]

My (ex)husband is from New Brunswick and his family had his Dad at home for the visitations. No parties, though. Here in Southern Ontario it’s always a funeral home with a small gathering after, if desired.

[Hazle_Weatherfield]

Having the body in the house would creep me out to no end! No disrespect to the customs of others. Does anyone else feel this way or am I just a scaredy cat?

[Civil_Guy]

This is getting morbid, maybe. A couple years ago my sister died from cancer (only a few years older than me, and that does give one pause for thought); the physically draining thing was the hospice care the few weeks before death. For other times, other places, that was probably close to the traditional death-watch.

Afterwards, the funeral, and after that, the post-funeral gathering at her house. No, the body wasn’t there, but I had said goodbye, so I did not at all need to see where my sister had been. The hugs were greatly appreciated, and the grieving only eases, never completely stops. The grieving has eased, and thanks for your kind thoughts.

If that gathering is not a wake - I don’t say that it is - what’s it called? Should it have a name?

[installLSC]

Much more common than a traditional wake among American Catholics is the rosary service. It’s typically held the night before the funeral and combines an open coffin viewing, rosary recitiations, and testimonials about the dead. It’s especially popular with people who can’t make a daytime funeral.
One of the things we must remember about pre-20th century funeral practices was that people were far more comfortable about interacting with the dead. There was an issue of American Heritage about 10 years ago that had a pictorial of death portraits. In the 19th century, it was very common for people to take fomally posed portraits with the dead.

[Some_Whelks]

When my dad died in Durham ( North-eastern England) in 1993, he was laid out in his coffin in one room of my mum’s house for about 3 days before the funeral whilst the immediate family entertained a constant parade of friends and relatives who came to view the body and mourn.

On the day of the funeral the body was taken to be cremated from the house and afterwards a party ensued much as described by the OP, except for the cigarettes, and continued throughout most of the night. This was accepted as perfectly normal but I wonder if it was generational or regional because I haven’t been to another one like it since.

[An_Gadai]

@Hazle_Weatherfield

Having the body in the house would creep me out to no end! No disrespect to the customs of others. Does anyone else feel this way or am I just a scaredy cat?

It really isn’t that scary. Some people get really freaked out if they’re not used to it but the bodies tend to look like waxworks.

[An_Gadai]

@installLSC

One of the things we must remember about pre-20th century funeral practices was that people were far more comfortable about interacting with the dead. There was an issue of American Heritage about 10 years ago that had a pictorial of death portraits. In the 19th century, it was very common for people to take fomally posed portraits with the dead.

I’ve said this before on here but as far as I’m aware the practice of taking photos of the dead is still common in Germany.

[An_Gadai]

Here’s a poem about it.