Pretty straightforward question: which woman in a married man’s life is he more likely to spend money on for Mother’s Day, his mother, or the mother of his children (viz, he wife)?
My bet is on his wife.
My MiL. My mom died when I was in high school, my stepmom came into my dad’s life after I left so she just was. My wife I did on behalf of the kids until now they are on their own. My MiL was the surrogate for what I would have given my mom, especially after my FiL passed almost 2 decades ago. She passed last fall so this is the first Mother’s day I don’t HAVE to get anything but I will for my wife.
My mom, by default because wife and I don’t exchange gifts for anything.
I don’t get either anything. My wife is shopping for both of our moms right now and hopefully I’ll remember to call my mom whenever the day is. Based on this thread and the shopping I’m guessing Sunday?
My wife worked with someone who’s husband said, when asked about mother’s day gifts for his wife and mother of two: “She’s not MY mother”. It’s a wonder why there was more than one child there.
Anyway, I never really did anything for my mom on mother’s day after reaching adulthood other than maybe a phone call. She’s been gone for 12 years now. My wife, on the other hand gets flowers and other gifts since she became a mother.
For my dad it’s kind of a moot question. My grandma, his mother, lives 7 hours away. so unless you ship something, gifting or dinner really isn’t an option. He calls her, though.
He used to get things for my mom and vice versa for Father’s Day, but I believe a year or two ago they mutually decided to stop doing that. I think it’s only me and my brother getting things for my parents on their respective days. We all do enjoy a meal out together, though this year it will be a dinner in.
I consider Mother’s day and father’s day as totally artificial occasions created by marketroids and never paid any attention to either.
My husband is more likely to give me something than my mom or, when was alive, his (then again, they had a terrible relationship). My mom and I usually give each other a card or a call.
Since my mom moved closer to us in March, this year I’m making a strawberry tres leches cake, she’s making our favorite appetizers and we’re going to kick everyone out of the family room (where our only TV lives) and watch movies. For us, neither of us wants a gift on Mother’s Day, we just want to do whatever we want with limited other commitments like cleaning or managing other people’s schedules.
I do too, and so does my wife.
My mom doesn’t though, so…
I helped my kids get stuff for their mom (my wife) until they were old enough to do it for themselves. After that, my financial contribution to mother’s day gifts ended. My wife is NOT my mother, nor a mother surrogate to me. She doesn’t get me anything for Father’s day either, which is just fine.
Same for me, wouldn’t even think of getting anything from me, for my wife on mother’s day.
Mother’s day is about appreciating mothers. Not just your own.
Anyway, I always got my (at the time) wife something. And I always paid for the kids to get her something.
I’m divorced now and kids are grown. So the only person I spend money on is my mother.
Well, the actual founder of Mother’s Day had a different view:
Speaking as a childless middle-aged woman who routinely gets wished a happy Mother’s Day by people I’ve never seen before, much less given birth to, it seems to me that the popular attitude toward Mother’s Day has got stuck in a kind of weird limbo. It’s no longer just a personal celebration of one’s own mother, but it hasn’t quite managed to become a universal impersonal celebration of all mothers, along the lines of, say, Flag Day.
It’s perfectly appropriate on June 14 to wish a “Happy Flag Day” to somebody who isn’t a flag, on the grounds that we’re all just taking this opportunity to honor the flag in general. “Happy Mother’s Day”, on the other hand, is considered not universal enough to say to, e.g., men or little girls, who are presumed by default not to be mothers themselves, but at the same time universal enough to say to any woman who looks like a statistically reasonable bet to be a mother, even if you have no idea whether or not she actually is one.
Hmm. When the kids were little I made them do something with their grubby lil hands to give to Daddy. Pictures were the easiest but they also did growing tomato plants or wrote out IOUs for helping him do stuff. I saved my scant cash for months and bought him something that usually benefited all of us (except that belt buckle … other than not seeing his butt. 20 years later I scoured ebay and etsy and found the same one since the original was rubbed down from leaning into all the cars we had to fix them.) He never thought to do the same for me but… my kids came through for me via school stuff (so many flowers grown from seeds in milk cartons) and as adults they bring me pickles in a pouch 
I’ve always gave him advice on what to give his mom for Mother’s Day. The older we have all gotten it tends to be “Give her one of the plants you just grew from seed. It’s symbolic!” My parents are deceased.
He does buy stuff for me but nowadays it’s etsy soaps we all use, e-books series except, oops, that came out of my bank account because on e-books when you hit “buy” it comes out of the associated account vs asking “this bank account or this CC”. So he paid for some panties for me.
I don’t like flowers, don’t eat much chocolate anymore so what he’ll do in the morning will make me quite happy. He’ll cook me up a few pounds of bacon. And some hashbrowns. He took care of other stuff Friday night 
I just ordered stuff for his day. I’ve always bought or made something for him for Father’s Day. He’s the father of my children. I like to honor him for that. He’ll get taken care of, too, that week-end
This is what I did, when I was married.
Now, I’m torn between not caring if my kids get their mother anything, and reminding them to do it because it’s the right thing to do.
Usually I pick a. Tough to overcome that.
My mom gets angry. “Mothers’ Day used to be a low-key remembrance. You wore a red carnation if your mother was alive, and white if she was dead. But then the greeting card and florist cartels got hold of it… Grrr…”
So I’ll brave that lecture every year by getting her a card and flowers, and get the wife a card and chocolates (much more practical). So about the same cost.
Side note: Wife is a much better mom than my mom ever was. Makes finding/inscribing a card tricky… they all seem to gush “Bestest Mom EVVVVER!”
If he wants to stay married it will definitely be his wife. :eek:
What makes you think that women are generally so materialistic and mercenary?