I got two girls. At some point they’re gonna be interested in sex. It’s not something I particularly want to think about, but part of being a good dad means getting them ready for this part of their life.
At this age, it means teaching strong ideas about consent: with a few medical/safety exceptions they get to choose who touches their bodies and when [within obvious boundaries]. As they get older, it’s gonna mean helping them navigate dumb messages about sexuality and make sure they have the space to figure out what they want their own to be.
I’ll be honest, I punt questions sometimes (“Daddy, what’s a brothel?” my 9-y-o asked me when I didn’t turn the news off quickly enough, and I said I’d talk to her later, but never got around to it); and sometimes I let my wife handle things that maybe I should be able to talk about myself.
But when/if they get boyfriends, the plan is to make sure they’re keeping their bodies safe, and that they know better than to let themselves be pressured into anything they don’t want, and that they know both how to minimize the chances of getting into a coercive situation and that if they do get in a coercive situation it’s not their fault, and stuff like that.
I’ll tell them that boys are often really interested in sex, and that girls are too, and that a boy’s interest in sex doesn’t put her under any obligation, any more than a rando’s interest in friendship would put her under any obligation.
But I won’t be some sort of freako who threatens boyfriends. That’s gross as hell.