Do not talk to me...

The BBQ Pit
1

After almost 32 years, you’d think my parents would have learned by now, but nooooooo…

I am not a morning person. Never have been. On weekends I sleep until 3:00 in the afternoon, and I stay up late, and that’s when I’m actually pleasant when I wake up. On weekdays, however, I am forced from the most precious God-given gift - slumber - in order to go to my menial task and post to the SD… er, I mean, work all day. :wink: So 7:30 am is not the best time for me.

It is particularly not good when I am pre-tea, and afterwards it is only marginally good. After my half hour ride to work, however, I’m awake enough to deal with the people in my office.

The same applies on the ride home - I prefer silence and alone time on my way home from work, and coming home to an empty house is sheer bliss to me.

However, I live with my folks and carpool with my mother, and they just don’t get it. I remember once on my birthday I woke up, went downstairs, and before I’d even reached the cabinet to grab a mug, my mother started singing “Happy Birthday.” I cut her off, growled at her, and stormed back upstairs to drink my tea. She was hurt. On the ride in I explained that I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, but on my birthday of all days you’d think she’d be nice enough to not even talk to me, let alone sing to me.

My father is a morning person, but he’s finally gotten the clue that I do not even want him to say, “Good morning” to me. I do say goodbye when I leave the house.

I need to live alone for a while. Ugh. Fortunately my future housemates are much more respectful than my parents.

Dr. Boyfriend, fortunately, is as awful in the morning as I am, so we get along fine when I stay over. And my campmates when I go on vacation go so far as to not only stay out of my way, but they make my tea for me so I don’t unsheath some live steel and start whacking off heads. (They’re convinced the only reason they’ve survived this long is that my reflexes are slower than theirs in the morning, and if I did have all my faculties and acuity there would be severed heads buried under the fire pit.)

And don’t even think about having sex in the morning, unless it’s a weekend, and I can lazily wake up post-noon. :slight_smile:

Esprix

2

I’m exactly the same way, Esprix—physically incapable of functioning first thing in the morning. My Mom has long since caught on, though, which is why we can successfully vacation together. “I don’t talk to Eve in the morning till she talks to ME,” is her motto.

3

I understand completely. I tend to be more of a morning person than you. However, when I was working I would frequently go out and only get 3 or 4 hours sleep. Woe betide anyone who had an email problem early in the morning.
“YOU WANT WHAT?”
“I can’t print”
“SO. IS IT IMPORTANT!?”
“Well I have to have the report in by 12.”
“IT’S 7:30. I’LL BE THERE AT 11:30. BE BY YOUR DESK OR I CANT HELP YOU”

4

Gosh, Esprix, don’t you think that’s a tad harsh? I’m absolutely not a morning person, but if someone greets me cheerily in the AM, I grunt as nicely as I can while I get my coffee. I figure the world does not revolve me and my needs, and it won’t kill me to be friendly to folks who mean
me no harm, even if I really don’t want to talk. If someone tries to engage me inconversation, I explain that I just got up and I’ll get back to them as soon as I fully shake off the morning grumpiness.

Remember, courtesy is the KY jelly of social intercourse.

5

The worst relationship I ever had (and one of the shortest) was with a morning person. I am barely sub-human before 9:00am, and he was up at 5:00. A couple weekends of this and I had to put him out on the curb for recylcing.

I hate it that some morning people consider me lazy because I like to “sleep in”. Well, it ain’t sleeping in if you didn’t go to sleep until 2:am. Years of jobs that require me to be up, dressed, and marginally functional by 7:30 or 8:00 have made me a life-long insomniac. Just once, can’t I find and office job that doesn’t care what hours I work as long as it gets done? It’s not like I have to work with the public or anything. I never miss deadlines and require no supervision. Let me come in at noon and work until 9:00. Let me get a good freakin’ night’s sleep instead of staring at the clock until 1 or 2 am every night.

Whoops, kind of got off the subject a little there. Probably because I am trying to loose my caffeine addiction and it’s making me a little goddam grouchy.

6

Oh dear. I was in a shitty mood until I read that. Is it a goboy original? Whom should I credit when I blatantly steal it?

7

I’m in the same boat as Esprix, but it’s my wife who is the morning sort. And anything without at least a full pot of french roast doesn’t deserve to be called morning.

My mom and I were kindred spirits in that regard, sleep until noon, then decide whether or not to get out of bed.

Heehee! “Courtesy is the KY jelly of social intercourse.”

Waste
Flick Lives!

8

While I usually steal some of my best lines, that is indeed
a Goboy original.

9

I have to say I was impressed too. I’m going to start droping that one around.

10

Wow Esprix, youre pretty crabby in the morning. I’m somewhat like you. On weekends I like to get up at 3 pm, and go to bed late. I generally growl at my mother if she comes in to wake me up to do some sort of chore. I dont know why we have to do things at 10 am on saturdays. I usually do chores for grandma around 2 pm at least (i’d do it later but mom insists I do them early). However, if I have to I can be nice to people in the morning. I have to get up at 8 am each day because I have classes at 9, so i have to be pleasant or gain the title of the nastiest classmate in the morning ;).

11

goboy -

I was going to ask if I could use that line as my sig, but it looks like andros beat me to it. Great line nonetheless.

And andros, if you decide not to use it or if you do use it then retire it, I have dibs on it.

12

Esprix, the solution to your problem is simple: you just need to switch teas.

13

Mornings. Ugh. When I was working days at my old job, I usually didn’t have to be in until noon, so I could drag my ass out of bed at nine and still have enough time to get dressed and go in.

I’m working swing now, and I usually go to bed at 6:00 am, so I can pretty much bypass the morning thing altogether. I get up around two or three in the afternoon, and I’m usually fairly coherent. If I have to get up earlier, I sort of stumble around and hope tea will magically appear before me.

It never does.

14

Esprix, I am in complete agreement with you on this. So what did I do? Go and marry a guy who is a morning person. Shit. As soon as he’s had his coffee, he’s happy, playful, joking, talking, etc. Oh, and he wants the damned TV on, too. I want SILENCE when I first get up. And when I’m driving to and fro on the work-trail. And when I first get home. Sometimes I want to yell “Don’t talk to me! Ever! Unless I speak to you first!” But of course I won’t. 'Cause other than this HUGE flaw, he’s perfect. I’m glad you lucked out with Dr. Boyfriend to get another morning grump, tho.

15

I do not believe that people are either “morning” or “evening” people. I believe that a person can be either, depending on which they choose to be. I also believe that it is rude in the extreme to demand that others comply with your habits without making any attempt to comply with theirs. Especially when living under someone else’s roof.

In a work environment, I expect people to arrive on time and be pleasant to and with their fellow employees. Rudeness, accompanied by the excuse “I am not a morning person” is grounds for dismissal in my book and I have discharged employees for just that reason. If one is not a “morning person,” once has no business imposing one’s self on those who are capable of civil behavior, no matter the hour.

You might guess that this is a pet peeve of mine.

16

Louis B said:

I’m afraid it’s not that simple. At least not in my experience.

My husband, my two oldest children and I are all morning people. We lived comfortably, blissfully unaware that the vast majority need gasp! an alarm clock to wake up at 6 am. We never saw the 10 pm news, much less the Tonight Show. And then…in a quixotic move of irony, whatever gods or fates control our desitny sent us…our son.

He proclaimed his night-owl hood from the get go. A little adorable 6 ounce bundle of misery. Oh, we tried. We woke him up “on time.” He growled. We put him to bed “on time.” He stayed awake. We thought he’d grow out of it. Maybe when he’s on solid food. Maybe when he’s potty trained. Maybe when he oh God, please, please, please starts school. Nope. Nope. Nope.

We tried making slow, incremental adjustments in his schedule. *Ok, honey, we’ll get him up at 9 am today, 8:45 tomorrow. * Nope. We tried turning him over to a babysitter, leaving firm instructions on breakfast time and bed time. She quit.

We tried adjusting our schedules. Our bosses accommodated us. They said sure, come in to work at 10 am, work until 6. It’s ok. Sooooo, we tried to sleep in until 9 and stay up. Didn’t work.

After 10 years, he remains a night person. We remain morning people. We love each other. We strive for politeness and understanding. We live in the same house, but different worlds. People can adapt, adjust, accommodate. My son can pretend to be happy and smile going off to school at 8 am. I can pretend to give a rats ass about anything after 8 pm. We can and do control our behavior to some extent. But we remain at heart morning and night people. God bless us every one.

17

I respectfully disagree.

My relationship with my parents is the envy of all I meet, mostly because we’re so honest with each other. For as many times as I’ve growled at my mother in the morning she’s growled at me for one reason or another. We don’t love each other any less, nor do we get along any worse because of it. Honesty works for us - “living under their roof” has nothing to do with it, frankly. They (mostly) respect my habits, and I try to do the same.

Oh, I quite agree, and by the time I actually make it to work I am quite pleasant and perky, more so than most of the other people in my office. I just need that hour or so upon waking up to get some tea in me and adjust to the day. Unless I were waking up at work, I don’t see my relationship with my family and loved ones infringing on anyone but ourselves.

People who don’t cut me any slack are a pet peeve of mine. :rolleyes:

Esprix

18

Esprix, I guess I just can’t relate—I wake up at the crack of dawn, as a rule, and when I do, I am wide awake and ready to go. Even when I worked nights, I found it impossible to sleep past 7:00AM, no matter what time I crashed. I am one of those bright-eyed, cheerful pricks that “night” people could happily burn at the stake.

But implying that your relationship with your parents was antagonistic was beyond the pale. I have no way of knowing and no business judging.

Usually, when I jab at “night” people, I am just trying to provoke a response–except at work, I am serious about it there.