Are there any studies that demonstrate that ‘opposites’- people who have very different physical characteristics or dissimilar personality traits- tend to be more attracted to each another than to people who are more similar to themselves?
It seems like such a feature would be biologically advantageous in that it would tend to make their offspring have more ‘average’ features, and, therefore, be more attractive and have a higher probability of producing offspring.
But I’ve also noticed that people seem to date and marry people who are physically similar to themselves. Thin people are usually with other thin people, blue-eyed people often marry other blue-eyed people, overweight people usually date other overweight people, and so forth. Does this reflect a biological instinct to be attracted to sameness, or is this simply the result of people choosing their partners according to their options?
Physical opposites attracting: Not likely. I think there are studies that indicate that people tend to pair up with comparable partners, but I can’t find the right book to look 'em up.
Personality opposites attracting: [whine]“I’m a nice guy! Why do all the nice girls like bad boys instead of me?”[/whine]
The Jungian concept of the “shadow” speaks to this, but it’s not really something that can be scientifically validated. The idea is that if things were perfect, we’d all have integrated, balanced personalities. But since we ain’t perfect, we tend to suppress certain aspects of our personalities. On a subconscious level, though, we realize that things are out of balance and try to get more of the suppressed aspect–and we we can’t get it from within, we’ll seek out and be attracted to others who display it.
I have lived, single, in different areas of the country.
IME, I can emphatically state that the vast majority of women (99.99875%) are not interested in someone different from them. They want someone with similar experiences/cultural background.
As for physical characteristics such as you noting thin marrying thin, overweight marrying overweight etc…
This is because men and women rate different characteristics. A taller man is more desirable than a shorter man. A thin person is more desirable than an overweight person and so on.
When people hook up, they try to get the highest value they can. However, the other person must feel the same way. Result is that physically similar people hook up.
There are exceptions due to individual taste and non-physical traits ($) but they are exceptions not the norm.
This article discusses one study. Interesting technique, they took pictures of the participants, digitally altered them to be of the other sex, and the participants rated their own altered pictures as a “very good-looking person”.
And this article suggests the same thing and says that when opposites do attract, it may because the prospective partner has traits one finds desirable in one’s self…
My psych professor at Berkley wrote the class book (I think it was the head of Clinical Psych at UofIllinois), and it covered your question. I remember them saying that it was a myth, that opposites indeed do not attract, and that an overwhelming majority of couples were together of similarities. I forget the percentages, but I recall it being something less than 8%. My prof’s view was that while there were many exceptions that made it seem like opposities attract, in terms of long-term, healthy relationships, the 8% is the norm. Sorry, no cite. Besides, it’s really dependent on the women, right? Anyway, to add more confusion, here is a site that seems to contradict what I’m saying: http://www.health24.co.za/news/Sexuality/1-944,23091.asp. IME, opposites do not attract.
What you refer to is called Sexual Selection and in some species this results in desired characteristics through some sort of sexual competition (this type of selection is pretty common in birds). Keep in mind these characteristics need not be limited to physical traits (for instance, for some birds the selection favors good nest builders). And this type of selection may even compete with other selection forces.
In humans “selection” gets more convoluted… but we generally want quality (by our own standards).
Here’s what Darwin had to say about it. Here is a (long) paper on it.