I’m not really sure what I’m trying to discover here, but I’ve thought about it for a while and this is the best explanation I can come up with.
Can someone fall in love with you if he/she is not attracted to you ?
When I was in HS there was a boy, I’ll call him Joe, that I was convinced cared for me. He never asked me out, but spend all of his spare time with me. The girls he dated were much more attractive then I was, but they were all super bitches. His mother would tell me sometimes that Joe would always compare their personalities to me and they just couldn’t measure up. Joe was a very attractive young man and I also had a little thing for him. We remained close for a long time, until he went off to college, but I still hear from him every now and then.
So, if I knew say, George Clooney, a very attractive man, and we liked each other, would there be any chance since we aren’t matched in the good looks department ?
I’ve noticed that when I’m attracted to someone’s personality, I usually become attracted to them physically. I met my best friend in a Spanish class, and I never thought she was that good looking. I actually wondered why her bf was with her at first. Now that I know her much better, I think she’s both gorgeous and hot. She just has a great heart and a warm personality, and you can really see those things shine through a person. All those things you used to think were unattractive cease to exist.
To a point. As already said, attraction is about way more than just looks. Some people become much more attractive as you get to know them, others less.
However, with that said, I think that there does need to be some amount of pure physical attraction to begin with. If two people are completely incompatible in terms of what the other finds attractive, it’s just not going to work.
A couple of years ago, I met a man who was not my “type”, and in fact wasn’t very good looking at all, and I was definitely not attracted to him. One of my other friends was suggesting him as dating material, and I was a little repulsed.
But we worked together, and spent a lot of time together, and became good friends. And lo and behold, there I was, suddenly quite attracted to him, and wondering how I hadn’t seen it earlier! We dated on and off for about a year - he wasn’t the best boyfriend material, but after that point, I always thought he was hot. And developed a thing for short, pudgy, obnoxious balding men. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) He had an incredible force of personality that totally overwhelmed my initial physical impression. If he had been interested in being a boyfriend, I have no doubt that I would have fallen in love with him.
Lucky for me he didn’t though, or I would never have met the love of my life.
Sorry, I have to disagree. I’d never get involved with someone who had no personality no matter how gorgeous they were, but by the same token, I wouldn’t get involved with someone I wasn’t attracted to no matter how great their personality was. I have a couple of male friends I’d probably be great with, but I’m just not attracted to them and I can’t get past that - the physical stuff is too important to me. I’d be the first to admit that I can be mind-meltingly shallow though…
Looks don’t matter at all when it comes to friendship, just as long as they have a good personality and we get along. Dating and falling in love is different though. I have to be physically and/or sexually attracted to someone before I can date them. If I’m not attracted to their looks I’m not going to date them, let alone fall in love with them. If their personality is as attractive as their looks, sure, I could fall in love with them. If they have the personality of a wet mop, I won’t fall in love with them but that doesn’t mean I won’t still find them attractive.
