It seems to me that maybe 16 or 17 years ago if I went to a party or somewhere where I’m meeting a bunch of new people, the first question was always “What do you do? Where do you go to school?” Recently, I was at a social gathering and at the end of it, I had no idea what almost anyone did for a living - and noone asked me. Most of these folks had degrees and careers from what i found out later. It seems when I think about it, this has happens a lot more frequently than it did 16 years ago. Back then, I only remember this being the case when I lived outside of London (I am a US citizen) for a few months - people seemed to spend a lot of time talking about other things than what they did to make money there.
Well, from your post, it looks like it could be due to a variety of factors.
It could be due to a change in social conventions, due to being older, or perhaps due to the geographic region.
Was this a situation where you were the sole “new” person, and everyone else was familiar w/ one another?
Yes, it’s all anybody talks about. A shame really.
It is one of many topics that usually comes up for me.
It could be because I’m getting older; I’m in my late 30’s. My sister said she noticed the same thing at her 20 year HS reunion. At her 10 year reunion, everyone talked about what they did, after her her 20 year reunion, she said it barely came up - they had a lot of other things they talked about. This is the same region.
It probably has to do with individuals too, I’ve been on this board for 6 months, some of the regular posters I have no idea what they do, others seem to not be able to write a single post without mention of their occupation.
Sometimes it’s just an easy way to find a non-controversial subject of social conversation with a stranger, like the weather, movies, or books. Or in smaller cities like the one I currently live in, it is a way of finding out contacts in common. I hear people doing this and very quickly establishing that they have one or more acquaintances in common. Tribal recognition. I don’t usually hear it with regards to establishing economic standing.
I haven’t noticed any change. People working in similar fields will talk about the specifics of their jobs, others will talk about their bosses or compensation. I’ve heard a lot more complaints about work in the past few years, but the general topics of discussion remain about the same, and work is one of top ones.
I love to ask people what they do for a living because I’m fascinated by other people’s jobs. I’ve been doing the same job since before I graduated in 2001, so everyone’s job is interesting to me.
People like to be asked about and talk about themselves. I think the problem is that there is very little asking going on, just talking or waiting to be asked.
FWIW I absolutely hate talking about my job and myself in person (I’ll do it here, anonymously) Mostly because I have n.o.t.h.i.n.g. going on. So I love asking other people about themselves.
Yeah, it used to seem that way to me too; now I kind of avoid bringing it up early on - for whatever reason it seems safer to just find other non-controversial subjects. I’m not even sure why or when this happened.
When I was an undergrad, we joked about making shirts for parties:
Where I live: [dorm name]
Where I am from [Home city & State]
What’s my major [if declared…]
After graduation, it all turned to work / grad school and the dance around marriage and kids.
People go for the easy questions. I have been to events where you were told to introduce yourself withOUT asking or stating where you work, to break that trend.
Maybe because, when you are in your twenties, your career / profession is still relatively new, and you have more of a passion for it. As time goes on, it loses its luster and (as others have said), there are other topics to discuss.
I’ve moved into the ‘complaining about health’ general conversations, mixed with 'You know, this Costco bourbon is pretty decent for the price."
I’m wondering if maybe it’s because of the economy. More people are out of the workforce for longer periods of time now, and nobody wants to be the person to ask, “So what do you do?” just to find out the person being questioned is unemployed and embarrassed about it.
I’ll admit, in college it became groan-inducing the number of times I was asked where I lived and what major I was in. Maybe avoiding those sorts of over-asked questions is carrying over into adulthood, too.
I never really thought too much about it until recently, but that makes sense. I think I’m worried about asking someone something that makes them fell uncomfortable.
Even job talk can go awry sometimes. I still cringe when I think about the time I met a guy at a party who said he was a nephrologist, and I asked him to read the bumps on my head.
The type of discussion which takes place in social gatherings, typically revolves around the situation and purpose of that gathering, in my experience.
With most recent examples I can think of, the few times profession came up, it either acted as a transition to another topic of relevance, or an aside/support for some point. In all honesty, I think most people just don’t care, unless it’s something particularly off the wall, interesting, or well placed. If it’s not, it becomes a quick way to bore a group to death (actually, this could include a lot of personal topics, just the same).
I was at that same party. He told me he was a nephrologist, and I said that was his business, but he better not try to have sex with my dead body. :mad:
I live in the DC area. I still find it to be a standard ice-breaker. I went to a thing last week, met three new people, and explained my job three times.
I do tend to phrase the question carefully when I’m talking to women with young children. The whole employed/stay-at-home mom thing can be a bit of a minefield.
I live in the DC area too. I’ve actually found that a lot of people I encounter seem far more eager to talk about stuff they do outside of work more than anything else. It seems like a lot of the government workers are like this, they just pretty much want to put in their 8 hours a day and not think about it afterwards; many of them don’t seem to see their jobs as anything particularly interesting or exciting.
I have found that getting into middle age, and in the social situations I find myself in, there is little emphasis on what one does for a living. The assumption is, that if you are present - you are accepted. One doesn’t need to prove that they deserve to be there. Asking what someone does can be a way of sorting and categorizing others - assigning status. So, it seems as if it’s almost impolite to ask.