I don’t get out much. I mostly just read a lot and stay indoors. This leads to problems whenever I start talking to someone, because I have very little experiences to talk about and most conversations tend to revolve around experiences.
If you work anywhere, you’d know that on Friday people will always ask you about your weekend plans, and then on Monday they’ll ask how those plans turned out. I don’t do anything on weekends, so that means that this Monday I will sit quietly while other people talk about the various different barbecues they went to.
What I need are conversation topics that don’t involve going anywhere or doing anything new. I’ve got books, movies, sports and whatever is on the news. What else is there?
Well, if you can look out your window, there’s always the weather.
Actually, if you are totally unable/unwilling or unable to do anything new, then I think your best bet is to focus on asking questions about other people’s experiences. Most people love to talk about themselves and don’t really care that much about hearing what you have to say.
My husband is like you. He likes books, music, movies, watches the news, has a mild interest in a few random things. Not unintelligent, but he just never goes out anywhere or does anything. So, he has to dip into the past, when he DID go to concerts and movies and take vacations. Everything interesting happened to him before 1985. It’s rather sad, but he does like to talk to people and just brings up the same old stories. So?.. Most people just like talking about themselves, anyway. You could just be that ‘good listener’ who encourages them to tell you more about their vacation, the big game, etc.
I have a trick I use for first dates or parties in case there is one of those awkward lags in conversation. I’ll pick out two or three popular or classic IMHO threads, store it in the memory banks, and then throw it out there for conversation as if it were my own.
Yes, that’s right, I take credit for you guys’ genius. So sue me.
This tactic seems to work better with groups of people. The logic is: If it strikes a lot of peoples interests on these boards; it’s likely to strike a lot of peoples interests IRL as well.
If you ever want a good laugh try asking: “Will a plane take off on a treadmill?” at your local neighborhood bar. Hilarity will ensue.
[ol]
[li]What I am going to write first is going to be a bit personal and may well offend you. Please do not take it as a personal attack but rather as someone sharing of himself to an esteemed fellow Doper.[/li]I looked up your age in your profile, and looked at your threads - your interests and “mostly just read a lot and stay indoors”, that’s me at your age.
Please do go out, and do new things. You will find it rewarding and, after getting a bit used to it, much easier than you’d think. I wish I’d started that when I was your age.
[li]Regarding the OP’s question: I have found that when I have nothing to contribute on topics of common interest, drawing people out about what they did works just fine. People do love to talk about themselves.[/li][/ol]
Like others, I’d suggest that maybe you should try going places and doing new things. Not EVERY weekend, but sometimes. I spend most of my weekends hanging out at home or running errands too, but I do occasionally do other things. This shouldn’t be to improve your conversational skills though, but just because it’s good to do new things sometimes. That said…
*This actually sounds pretty good to me as far as small talk goes. As cliched as it is, talking about the weather is good too. If you didn’t do anything worth mentioning over the weekend then just say “Oh, not much, just hanging out/doing errands, how about you?” and then let them talk about whatever they did. If you can’t be a brilliant conversationalist you can be a good listener, and most people will be happy with that.
Oh, another trick I use: I read a lot of movie summaries on Wikipedia. I can familiarize myself with maybe 3-10 movies in a short time, then use it in conversation later. Also works great with comic book characters and stories.
When I get together with my relatives, we sit around and talk about our health problems and the prescriptions we take. It’s amazing how much we have in common.
Useful thread. As fun as World of Warcraft can be, if you spend to much time on it you find you can only really talk to other people who play World of Warcraft, unless you don’t mind coming off as an antisocial shut-in nerd.
It’s a bit of a catch-22, really. I’d like to go out and try new stuff, but I hate doing stuff out of the house by myself, but I can’t meet anyone if I don’t try new stuff.
When people ask how my weekend was, I say ‘Relaxing!’, and most folks with kids or otherwise busy schedules understand <and are jealous> So don’t worry about yourself, and just learn from your co-workers. They have stories too, and believe me, some of them will be more interesting than any fiction. :eek:
