Because it interfered with her ability to do her job and thus threatened her livelihood. It was consistently unwelcome behavior that didn’t stop. Rather than confront her boss (which is really bad advice) and risking termination, she chose to document her boss’s activities with HR.
If you don’t know the difference between harassment and “thoughtless comments”, you certainly have more to explain than Nawth Chucka does.
If trained and seasoned HR personnel found the complaint to be baseless and took no action to move NC to another manager, I assume the decision was based on preserving the interests of the company rather than the squeaky wheel.
Not saying that the comments weren’t a nuisance, but the powers that be felt that the complaint was baseless, and NC decided to quit.
She could have pursued legal action, I suppose, but would a jury of her peers have ruled in favor of her, or the company?
I mean, that’s what we strangers are, right? A jury of peers? I’m one of 12, but I’d say that annoying small talk does not qualify as harassment, certainly not worth quitting a job over.
This complaint does, however, support the OP.
Whether or not HR did something isn’t really relevant. She was uncomfortable enough that she quit. Why is it such a big problem for you? And what do you have against paragraphs?
ETA: This doesn’t prove the OP because Nawth isn’t claiming sexual harassment, which is probably why HR was unable to legally do anything, either.
So, back to the UP. Do some women misinterpret what is and isn’t sexual harrassment?
IMHO, going to HR over unwanted small talk is an overreaction, and quitting a job over it either means that NC doesn’t need a job and has another source for income or is misinterpreting the meaning of harrassment.
I’m a woman. I’m not supportive or proud of a woman who raises a stink or quits a job over annoying small talk. How are women equal if our sensibilities are so delicate we can’t defend personal space from smallntalk during off the clock break time?
He already earned a mention in that special thread in that special place.
ETA> Actually, 2 of them earned a mention. ^
Yes I am a new member, how about that?
Undoubtedly everyone was a new member once.
I did not drop from the sky, I was birthed in the usual manner.
I’ve been nothing but courteous, as for common sense, I have a great deal of that.
I’ve had people make similar comments to me.
It wasn’t sexual harassment then , and as you found out it wasn’t considered so in your case.
Perhaps it is you who lacks common sense.
The outcome of your experience would seem to point in that direction.
I have no idea weather you are a man or woman, was your boss a known lesbian who was hitting on you ( according to you), or are you such a precious male that the idea of a woman pleasantly chatting with you over lunch caused you such trauma?
Either way as I previously stated, I suspect you’re in for a life of feeling constantly put upon.
Just because you felt harassed doesn’t make it so, despite what some may believe.
I may feel I’m a fabulous cook, I might not be, just because I think something doesn’t make it so.
You might consider that.
Again, good luck.
Trolling, or life experience and common sense? Is this entire board an echo chamber or are dissenting opinions allowed?
We’re not stupid.
Do you consider the interaction NC described as harassment?
Yes, the answer is decidedly, shamefully, yes. Your proof is in this thread.
What a delightful ‘newbie’!
I take comfort in simply knowing I’m right and you don’t know shit from Shinola.
Don’t know why I’m surprised you are unable to defend your outrageous overreaction to smalltalk.
It’s like…a precedent has been set.
Actually, you’ve misunderstood the scenario. Re-read the original story from NC that you joined up to complain about.
In short summary: **NC **complained to HR about the boss. HR agreed with NC that the comments were harassment and ordered the boss to stop. That HR would side with the employee and the situation is not overtly sexual shows just how far out beyond workplace normal this bosses behavior probably was. So in this case we see HR protected the employee, not the boss. At least for round 1.
You’re right, apparently a transfer wasn’t done. At least not immediately. The specifics of jobs then open, NC’s qualifications, size of company, etc., may have made a transfer wholly impractical. At any rate, HR gave the boss instructions to change her behavior. Not the employee.
The boss did follow HR’s orders to stop the specific harassment about lunches. The boss then started fresh and larger harassment in a different way in a different venue.
At which point NC chose to quit rather than keep “fighting city hall.” Whether that was a wise decision or by sticking to her guns she could have gotten a fat settlement after a sympathetic HR and upper management would have fired the asshole boss will never be known.
If you’re gonna whine about a story, at least get your basic facts about the story straight. it improves your credibility.
See the last page of the infamous pit thread for more goodies from our 2 newest members in this thread.
In what fantasy world would a jury award a penny to such a frivolous complaint?
HR protects the company’s interest. Not the employee. In fact, I suspect the boss intended to rid herself of a hypersensitive, bothersome employee, which she did.
Ironic, that Nawth Chuka is doing exactly the same thing by being absolutely ugly to everyone who disagrees with her.
So…maybe she learned something from that experience. I guess that means everyone wins, huh?
Why I’m sure you do, extremely dull people tend to, as a general rule.
Shit, is often found between the ears of extremely dull people, Shinola on the other hand, is a brand of boot polish.
Thank you , and your cheerleaders, for all the illumination you have brought to this topic. It has been enlightening in the extreme.
Please excuse me now, I have to go shower , a waitperson smiled at me during dinner, and asked what I would like to eat, I feel I have been sullied, and my personhood abused.
Yes I expect they were looking for away to get rid of NC as soon as possible.
One humorless person can ruin a group dynamic and negatively impact production. I’ve never bullied anyone in my life, but the handful of times I’ve been stuck with negative coworker have been frustrating and exhausting. Her boss probably was being a jerk, but HR would certainly have intervened if it qualified as harassment.
I suspect that person might also recognize they aren’t part of a team and might take offense at banter or any kind of lighthearted conversation. I didn’t plan to learn anything from this thread, but I definitely will not attempt to engage Tammy-the-Scowler at work tomorrow.
But you’ve kind of identified the heart of the issue.
Too much completely inappropriate and abusive behavior is allowed to continue because it’s everyone else’s job to keep their heads down for the sake of the “team” (which, generally means, the most aggressive person dictates culture). We’re learning (or, finally listening to) the fact that that environment leads to all sorts of abuses of subordinates, sexual and otherwise.
Until we learn to have humor in the workplace that doesn’t insult or demean our coworkers, I’m all for cutting back on ‘banter’ in the workplace.
And, for the record, some people and workplaces do know how to maintain appropriate environments. It’s a myth that ‘that’s just how the workplace is, so suck it up buttercup.’ Company culture is a choice.
Not* aggression*, leadership qualities. One of those qualities means keeping the morale up and the mood positive and productive.
If a humorless person is unwilling or unable to complement an established office culture, quitting and searching for a job which allows solitude probably is the best idea for everyone.
As far as insult and demean, no reasonable jury would consider off-the-clock comments on food to be abusive or even disparaging.
Take, for instance, this discussion and the board culture here. I pointed out an unreasonable claim, and was dogpiled by the board culture. Folks supporting a trip to HR over lunch comments surely can’t believe that’s appropriate, but they’ve befriended NC and her feelings must be protected at all costs.
I could, I suppose, go whining to an Admin and beg them to intervene on my behalf, but seriously: that would be nuts. Unreasonable. Illogical. There is a small faction of online buddies here who will defend one another no matter how insulting and outlandish the post.
No skin off my back, I don’t fit in here. I can flounce out and find another board with a different “culture”, right? Free country, right? Or should I threaten to sue because a public, free message board is unwelcoming to new members? Sounds pretty stupid, doesn’t it?