Do transgenders who have had sex changes have the obligation to tell their future partners?

If a biological male has a sex change and now identifies as a female, does she have the obligation to tell her future partners, whether they be male or female, about the sex change and her biological sex? Same applies for a female-to-male transgender.


However, failing to discuss such issues before the wedding bodes not well for the stability and longevity of the marriage.

Isn’t this a non-issue for FtMs? I thought any semblance of a dick they could get was easily identifiable as a fake.

Assuming this is true, I can still imagine the partner preferring to know this rather than find out in situ.

I think you should feel obligated to tell you partner anything the average person would want to know about. That includes sex changes along with previous marriages, kids, etc.

This is pretty much it. Keep it a secret if you want, but I can see the whole thing eventually going up in flames. Big secrets like that aren’t good for trust and honesty.


It’s OK to keep it a secret during the first date, but it should be known before any physical intimacy happens.

I chose “Yes,” but my real answer is, “It depends.”

For a one-night fling / FWB encounter, not necessary (although probably advisable unless one’s reconstructed genitalia are very convincing). Neither partner is expecting the “relationship” to last longer than this particular encounter, so who cares?

If the relationship looks like it might be going somewhere, then I’d say full disclosure is appropriate. If I were looking again, I’d expect a long-term partner to be up front with me with regard to anything that might have an impact on fertility and future health.

I would care. Honestly, I do not want to have sex with a trans woman. Since the sex would involve my body too, the hell yeah, it is my business.

Pardon my ignorance, but is the current medical technology on this stuff so good that you wouldn’t be able to tell even while fully naked and in a position to inspect the pink bits?

What about secondary characteristics? Musculature and skeletal differences may not be apparent at first, but at some point wouldn’t the tendency be to notice things like larger muscles on a M-F transgender or vice-versa?

I don’t mean to be at all rude on this, so I hope it comes across OK. I’m just truly curious if medical technology is really that good nowadays!

I only know one trans person, and yeah, I can tell. She looks very masculine. To be fair, I knew before I met her.

I would expect it to come when discussing any plans for kids.

That’s completely dependent on the trans person. Do they have an obligation? No, not necessarily. No more, that is, than a woman who has had breast augmentation or reduction–or any other plastic surgery.

Disclosure may invite discrimination, which may be something the trans person wants to know but isn’t necessarily a productive reaction. Anyway, I think the fundamental answer is that it is completely up to the trans individual whether or not they want to disclose. In a long-term relationship it is likely something that would arise, but to argue that someone is obligated to disclose a sex that is no longer relevant or an operation that has altered their body/sex is a strange idea of control.

You should probably tell them at some point, and at the very least mention that you can’t have children. Sure, it’s possible that they will react badly but when you get right down to it if they are that sort of person you should avoid them for your own safety, not marry them.

For genitals, the modern MtF version is that good I’m told; the FtM not nearly as good. For the rest of the body it depends on how late they start to transition; testosterone changes the body in ways that can’t really be fully undone yet.

I didn’t vote in the poll since there needs to be a third option. Being transgendered is pretty tough and while I think that if they were making a life long commitment, they should tell their partner, I don’t think they are obligated to in any other circumstance.

If it looks, talks, and acts like a woman, I would have no problem having sex with a trans woman. I would want to know beforehand. Just curious, why wouldn’t you want to have sex with a post-op trans woman?

I don’t know, I don’t think I have a logical reason for it. I guess it’s the same reason I don’t want to have sex with a gay man. Or a straight man, for that matter. I have nothing against it, it’s just not what I want.

When they get to the level of successfully manipulating chromosomes, lemme know. :rolleyes:

This, this, this.