And if so, how? I once read in Garry Jennings’ The Journeyer (historical novel about Marco Polo) that a man can enjoy being buggered because his partner’s penis stimulates his prostate gland – which women lack. OTOH, a woman once told me women have something called an “anal G-spot.”
Have you never taken a really good dump? There’s lots of nerve endings in and around there that feel good/painful/both - and that’s all that’s required for sexual stimulation.
What pleasure I get out of that, I attribute to the relief of uncomfortable pressure (like lancing a bruised fingernail to let out the blood); which doesn’t make it an experience for which I would go out of my way. Nor is banging your head against a wall because it feels so good when you stop.
There are a lot of nerve endings in there - a patient, gentle, understanding partner can find all the goods ones. Once you get the hang of it together, it becomes a part of your regular routine - and feels great.
It’s not for everybody. I wasn’t gung ho about it at first (and don’t even get me started on how “filthy” I believed it must be!), but I was curious. Didn’t like it at first, but remained curious and read up on it, and since I’m a try anything twice kind of person, gave it another shot. If I had hated it the first time, I would have never bothered trying it again. I could feel the potential. It just took some practice and patience to find what worked for me.
Always respect your partner, folks! Don’t pester her to do something that might hurt her! Put yourself in her shoes: How would you feel if a larger, hairier person insisted you try it just this once, just for him?
As for how women can enjoy it (for those who do, I mean - I’m sure there are some whose partners would swear they like it, but the women are actually enduring it to make the partners happy)…
The nerves in the vaginal/perineal/anal area are not that specific in what they feel. A woman can enjoy penetrative intercourse even if she doesn’t achieve arousal leading toward orgasm, the way that someone might enjoy any other massage. The stimulation in anal sex is mostly a stretching sensation. I’m going to have to make a comparison, to come close to describing the effect:
I got very vocal when my last baby was born. I could not be silent. I was simply so overwhelmed by sensation - not pain - that I could no more have been silent than I could have stopped breathing. I sort of dissociated and watched myself making all this noise, and wondering what people down the hall thought, and how my husband was perceiving it. Overwhelming, it was. Now, the parallel: The stretching of anal sex is overwhelming like that. I don’t have other words for it. It’s also not the kind of sensation that leads toward orgasm, at least not by itself, at least not for me. So it’s a very pleasurable way to have sex, but it isn’t satisfying by itself.
I could see where someone might try it and not like it at all. I could see why someone might not ever wish to try it, what with the ick factor and all. But I also know how it can be very enjoyable. Even without a prostate.
An amusing essay on this very topic can be found at www. gretachristina. com/thinking.html. (The title of the essay is definitely NSFW.) I agree with a lot of what she says about the nature of the experience.
I’ve never heard this, nor have I ever had a problem with it, however, this may be what you are talking about, and it is important to note in any thread about anal sex, anyway:
Never, ever switch from anal to vaginal sex! Make anal the last thing you do; switching from anal to vaginal can lead to infection. Also, any toys used in sex play should have a specific use: never use toys used in anal play for vaginal sex, not even if you cleaned it really well. Specific toys for specific parts. Safety first!
That’s true. Yet there was a question buried in the OP, apart from the subject line: How can women enjoy it, without a prostate?
I tried to answer that based on my own experience. Other women are affirming that they do indeed enjoy it. I have no idea how they perceive the experience, as they haven’t shared that. Maybe some more will chime in.
Do the women who like it orgasm from anal sex alone, without any other sort of stimulation going on? I always wondered about that. The only people I’ve ever discussed it with are gay men, which is different due to the aforementioned prostate aspect.
Personally, no. It just feels good. Like vaginal penetration feels good, though I don’t always orgasm from that alone, either, and still require stimulation. (sometimes yes, but I often like sex for the sake of sex alone, and usually prefer NOT to orgasm at all, if I can help it. Sometimes it just happens, and then it’s like the day after Christmas… sigh.) Though I still want the penetration, and would happily go at it for hours, I just don’t want to orgasm. Again, everyone will be different in that regard, for certain!
Lordy, I think I’m blushing. And I make Caligula blush.
Why would you NOT want to orgasm? I don’t get it. I am completely floored that someone would not wan to get off at all. How could you not? Are youexperiencing something different from what I am, because it’s like Christmas, Halloween, and my birthday all at once, just for several seconds, but hey, I’ll take that as often as possible. It also makes me feel so much closer to my partner, esp. if he can make it happen every time.
I once had a relationship with a woman who preferred anal sex to vaginal penetration. No lube, no nothing, get it in my ass fast and deep please. One other wanted it if she was very very excited. All others no way.
I just prefer the feeling of being close to my partner for as long as I can. The longer I can hold off orgasm, the longer I get to… hmm… play!
There are some days where all I want to do is get off, and will do so again and again and again, but a lot of times, I just find the whole sex act to be really fun, invigorating, and it makes me feel sexy, and I’m spending good, long, quality time with my husband.
I figure I’d better get this stuff out of my system now before we have kids, too.
Also, sometimes an orgasm makes me get all weird, and pensive, and sometimes once it’s over, I’m more thinking about what’s on tv, or what to make for dinner. I’m sure that’s just a glitch in my wiring, but even though it’s a big, awesome thrill, sometimes it makes my mind reel - I see god - and then I wonder what I’m doing with my life, and I should go and do something productive. :smack: Other times, I could go all night long. I seem to sense when an orgasm is going to make me all weird, so I’ll hold off if I want to spend more time having fun.
A long time ago in a land far, far away, I explored anal sex with my then-husband. I sort of enjoyed the sense of “fullness” but by far the best part for me was to be able to pleasure myself to orgasm at the same time as penetration. I never had an orgasm from either anal or vaginal penetration alone.