This was brought up on the Bob & Tom Show a few days ago. The theory goes like this: there exists a subset of women who occasionally send flowers to themselves at their place of employment with a note that says “From your Secret Admirer,” “Happy Valentine’s Day,” or whatever. This is done, of course, to garner the attention and admiration of other (primarily female) coworkers. Laura Steele said, “It happens more often than you think.”
O c’mon! Is she implying this happens a lot? I’m skeptical.
So tell me, do you know of anyone who has done this? Or whom you suspect has done it?
I have never sent flowers to myself, and I don’t know anyone who has. This, of course, does not mean it doesn’t happen, though. I don’t really see how such a practice would help you feel better about yourself. If it were me, it would only make me feel pathetic and alone if I had to send flowers to myself. Even the momentary satisfaction of seeing the other women at work glance jealously at my flowers would be small compared to how humiliated I would be inside my own mind to have stooped to such a thing.
Of course, that’s my take on it. Perhaps there are some women who have very good reasons for sending flowers to themselves?
FB
I don’t know anyone who has done it, but it wouldn’t suprise me if the type of person who looks to Friends for must-have hair styles also looked to Clueless for advice for making oneself seem more attractive to a love interest.
My old college roomate did indeed send flowers to herself, to make the guy she wanted think somebody else was interested. Of course, she also tried to pass off a pasty shop torte as her own home cooking.
And then when he went back to England, she convinced herself he was gay.
The Rules was her bible. It was frankly quite disgusting.
IUchem: Zsofia - I will agree with you regarding this type of activity being disgusting; however, being as jaded and cynical an idividual as I am (hey! - I’ve been reading the Straight Dope for 19 years!!! - started reading at 13 . . . ), I think the activity of a lady sending flowers to her workplace is much more common than detailed in this thread so far.
How many people (women or otherwise) would admit to sending flowers to themselves at work to their best friends (at work or outside of work)? Not many, in my humble opinion, as bringing this activity to scrutiny in “the light of day” defeats the psychological purpose of making others jealous (be it co-workers or potential love interests).
An aquaintence of mine, who I have been romantically seeing on and off for over 5 years, once asked me to send flowers to her at work with a specific message: "you’ve got a home in <big city name>, Love - ‘IUchem’ . . . " in order to let the small, family owned company she worked for know she had other options - - she was dealing with a power struggle at a company heavy on nepotism in the work place.
That said - I would like to reiterate the type of people I run into way too often down here - “way South of Heaven” - do not lead me to believing people are honorable and will “do the right thing.”
I hope I have conformed to the rules of the SDMB - I think this is my second post; although, I have been a Straight Dopie (Dopite? - - read - “Moonie”) for 19 years.
My mother has done this, but AFAIK it’s not for the reasons stated in the OP.
She was tired of never getting flowers - from Dad, or her children. So, for her birthday/anniversary she sent flowers to herself at work, because she wanted to get them. But she actually orders live plant arrangements, because she would rather have them.
My brothers and I do now send her flowers (live plant arrangements) at work on her birthday every year, so she no longer sends them to herself - I don’t know if Dad sends them to her on their anniversary or if she still sends them to herself then.
Before I was born, a friend of the family was involved with a woman who, according to my parents, was absolutely insane. Their proof? She sent herself flowers, purporting to be from some secret admirer.
AFAIK, no one I know personally has ever done this.
I will buy flowers for myself, and I’m currently involved in a failing attempt to grow miniature roses for myself, but I’ve never sent them to myself to try and fool someone.
I’ve never tried to fake anyone out with flowers. I have, on occasion, bought myself flowers, but I was always very upfront about it, saying that I felt like getting some flowers. I’m sure that a few women do it, but I really don’t think it’s at all common.
I know in my middle school, some girls thought it was hilarious to send valentines with declarations of undying love from “secret admirers” to those girls they considered to be losers. The school had several fundraisers, and one of them was sending valentines to other students during the week of February 14. The schools had the same fundraisers in high school, but I believe that most of the girls had outgrown this behavior.
I have a funny story about this. Once when I was interning at the STM, I bought myself some flowers (no funny business - just bought a cheap bouquet, stuck them in a vase, and put them on my desk, because they looked nice).
When I got to work the next day, there was a pile of free samples of women’s magazines in my cube.
I’m another one who’ll very happily buy flowers for myself, but would never send them to myself at work. I tend to feel pathetic enough when it comes to romance, and that would make me feel like even more of a loser. I don’t get it at all, I’m afraid.
Same here. I buy flowers quite often, just because I like them around. But, I would never go to the expense/effort of sending them to myself. That’s pretty low.
Why would it be considered low to send yourself flowers? I’m not getting it.
A few years ago when I took on a new job I felt really down. I love fresh flowers and I receive them often from my husband and various friends. However, my new office looked drab so I popped online and ordered myself a beautiful arangement and had them delivered to my office. When people asked who sent them I said that I sent them myself to make my office look better.
If you admit you sent them to yourself that’s just like buying them for yourself, and that’s cool.
I meant that sending them to yourself under the guise that they’re from a secret admirer is low. I see nothing wrong with buying yourself flowers if you want them. It’s the lying, trying to make others jealous thing that’s low.
Aries, I think they’re talking about trying to fake people out being low. You know, pretending you’ve got a secret admirer when you, in fact, ordered the flowers yourself.
Given the replies so far, I hope I at least get props for admitting it, even if ya’ll think I’m a pathetic loser.
YES. Way back when I was just a wee crumb, I shamefully sent myself flowers at work to try to make a fine hunk of co-worker jealous. It didn’t work, and to this day I feel pathetic and losery about it, so just back off with your comments of the same
To make matters worse, technically, I didn’t really send them to myself because my best friend (I’ll let her know ya’ll think she’s a loser, too) actually called it in using my credit card. Which, of course, was rejected after the flowers had already been delivered. I seem to remember I had to drop off a check but it was beyond embarrassing.
