Which is what happened to me the one and only time I tried Dave’s Insanity Sauce.
I stick with Tabasco-clones now, if that much. Mustard is (usually) more my speed.
There was story in the N.Y. Times featuring a Russian recovered alcoholic who used to drink Icicle - a blue window cleaner with twice as much alcohol as vodka at half the price.
He didn’t look too bright-eyed in the photo, though.
Yes, yes, there was story, da!
Heh, I phrased it that way on purpose. I never have to worry about burning volcanoes when I eat it, though. Maybe like lukewarm rosebuds, but certainly not burning volcano.
Wait, you made ths up, right? This isn’t an actual story going around, is it?
I too find the level of lying (in advertising) too much at times! For example, i’m told that if i wear Polo brand clothes, i should have no problem attracting all kinds of beautiful women! And, ffod ads-you would thing the "OUTBACK’ is dishing up gourmet meals 9instead of the greasy, tough fare they purvey). 
There are not enough “strongly agree” smilies in the world for me to agree with this strongly enough.
When I came back to Denver a couple years ago, I went to a Chinese place that had been my favorite. I should have known something was wrong when the only faces in the place were 70 year old caucasians. I mentioned to the waiter that the yue shang was kind of bland; he offered to bring me some Tabasco!(!!! Tabasco?) Food was still quite good quality, darnit, just… bland.
There is a dirty, low-class motel here in town, frequented mostly by those wanting a room for an hour or by drug dealers setting up shop for a night. It was probably built in the 1960s, and hasn’t had a rennovation since. Drunks and crazed druggies hang out in the parking lot.
The latest Visitor’s Guide for our town just came out. It’s listed as “the Historic (Town Name) Inn”. From the description, it sounds like a charming, lovely place for a family to stay. I note that there is no photograph of the property.
I can’t imagine the horror of a visitor who’s made reservations based on the description and pulls up to the place with a car full of kids.
Well, I didn’t make it up, but it is a story that has been floating around. Here is a discussion about it on Usenet. snopes.com doesn’t have a debunking.
This has purple in it. Purple’s a fruit.
You know it’s over when no one gets a Scotty line.
So this isn’t just an isolated regional incident… There’s a Mexican burrito place near my work which I patronize on occasion, and I figured I wanted to spice up my fish burrito.
Mild. Medium. Hot. I reached for the Medium sauce. It was about as hot as the salsa – as in, NOT AT ALL. Even the Hot sauce was about as spicy as chewing on a bell pepper. :mad:
And I’m infamous back home for bursting into flames at the sight of gen-oo-wine hot sauce, including bog standard Tabasco. Let alone the varieties of nuclear-powered sambal that my Indonesian family routinely uses.
Weak.
FYI- I use a jar of chili sauce in my world famous baked beans and it adds a really nice kick. Try it!
Here’s a good one:
Elizabeth Arden Golden Goddess Collection . . . hot enough to melt the sun!
(from an Ulta brochure)
Can’t wait to put that on my face.
And on the next page: conquer cellulite! With a cream. Yeah, I believe that, too.
Data, actually.
I have to relate my Dave’s Insanity Sauce story now.
When I went to New Orleans, I bought a bunch of hot sauce of different kinds and gave some to my friends. My friend Dave naturally got the Dave’s, so we both knew just how fuckin’ hot the stuff is.
Later, Dave and I were out with a guy named Eric at a sandwich shop that happened to have Dave’s Insanity Sauce on the tables. We who were initiated into the mysteries dropped a few thousand molecules of sauce carefully onto the side of our plates, and dipped the merest corner of our fries into the drop. Eric, in his ignorance, laughed and called us a bunch of wimps, and dumped enough sauce on his fries to kill an army. We tried to warn him of his folly, but he paid no heed and shoved a fry, dripping with Insanity, into his mouth.
Only by chugging down 3 bottles of Snapple and a quart of potato salad did Eric prevent his head from exploding.
On the stupid advertising front, my personal favorite is that Pantene conditioner now says “with Amino Proteins” on the bottle. Yeah, uh, without the amino (acid) it’s not a protein, geniuses. What’s next, “Lipo Fats”?
Nope, I hear that Coca-Cola is putting “Hydroxyl-sugars” in “New New Coke”.
I refer you to post 17.
[quote=AesironData, actually.[/quote]
It’s both. Scotty said “it’s green” in By Any Other Name and Data said “it is green” (no contractions, most of the time) to Scotty in Relics.
I was thinking of this very brand (their shampoo makes the same claim) while reading the thread. I’m waiting to be told that the latest hair dryer uses “charged electricity!”
Which was my point. The quoted text had no contractions.