People tend to tie the word “soulmate” in with ideas about sex and romantic relationships. But if you think of a soulmate as someone with whom you have a terrific time, someone who accepts you for who you are (warts and all), doesn’t judge you, and is always there for you, a soulmate could be anyone. It could be your best friend, your dog, your sibling, etc. I don’t think the power of having a soulmate is lessened at all just because you don’t happen to be “in love” with them.
I like this definition, because it includes some of the most important relationships in my life, without excluding them because they don’t involve swapping spit. (I’m in a cranky mood about the concept that sex somehow makes relationships more important these days.)
I’m also antsy about the One True Love theory, because most of the time, it denigrates all other relationships, and encourages one to demonize others. “This is my One True Love, the real thing! Whoops, it didn’t work out. But wait! Now I have my One True Love, which means… which means, of course, that YOU were a wicked, evil deceiver, that everything we shared was a sham and a fraud. Whoops, that one didn’t work out…” Lather, rinse, repeat.
Relationships aren’t always failures because they end. I don’t think the relationship with my ex of nineteen years is a failure – particularly not since we’re still good friends. It’s just changed.